Feeling a bit alienated

by factfinder 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • talesin

    I hope one day my mixed up feelings and beliefs get straitened out and I can find a balance!

    I think that is a certainty -- you'll get there, and remember to take breaks from dwelling on it,,, have some fun time, too!

    Balance is something that you lost,,, it will return.


  • redhare67

    Factfinder-- thats right the Bible alone will be fullfill to the very last, nice to know that there are people who will still obey their Bible, and cling to the promises offer ,therewithin,ok

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I haven't read the responses, just the initial post, so I may be repeating someone else's thoughts.

    Everyone seems to feel that they are liberated from a religion they hated and never believed in and are very happy to be out of it.

    I don't see this at all. I think a great deal of the anger many of us still struggle with is because we LOVED it and ALWAYS believed in it and we now realize we were taken for a ride. Yeah, we're happy to be out of it because of what we know NOW, not what we felt then.

    Yes, there were many who were miserable as JWs. There are a LOT who were miserable and didn't even know it until we got out and found REAL happiness.

    I don't think you can generalize about born-ins or converts. Some born-ins are beaten with regularity until they are physically too big to take it anymore and then leave the Borg as teenagers. Some born-ins toe the line for decades, thinking they're happy, and don't leave until they're middle-aged.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    I was raised in, and I bought in. Yes, I feel massive disappointment. But that emotion keeps me looking backwards over my shoulder at the time wasted. Now I embrace this feeling of relief to help me look ahead and move on. The anger inside keeps me coming here and talking to others so that they don't get trapped in the JW and post-JW mess.

  • Concerned JW
    Concerned JW

    factfinder is it the bible Jehovah's word or our leaders that tells us not to fornicate, commit adultery, lie, steal or murder among many more things? Having those in charge is about administration of bible truth's and principles and having a working structure we can grow within. Jesus said he would help when more than two were gathered together in his name. We are told to be in agreement. I am sure not all Jewish-born Christians agreed with the decision that gentiles didn't need to be circumcised but they had to accept that decision by the shepherds for the greater good of the congregation. Our shepherds work hard for us we might not like their decisions or conclusions on prophecy but they ask for Jehovah's guidance and accept they won't get everything right. We are a work in progress and that includes our shepherds too. Like I said I prefer shepherds that do their job rather than ones that just enjoyed the perks that other religions are lumbered with.

  • mrsjones5
  • factfinder

    @talesin- thank you for your encouragement! It is weird how at times I feel I am becoming an agnostic, most times I'm angry at God and the witnesses, I feel what the Bible says is academic, I still have an interest in what is happening at Bethel, the new press at the Canada branch, how much literature is being produced, I still at times feel like going to the mall to see the sister I know there to get the newest literature and kms, yet- I don't go because of my negative feelings towards the wts and congregation, I feel like a hypocrite when I do see her, I feel so happy to be free of the jws, and then sad again that my hope is gone. It is strange- I feel like the cognitive dissonence will never go away-I feel so many conflicts. Even when I tell myself I know the society is wrong about 607 and 1914, and feel disgust over how for ten years they secretly were ngo with the UN dpi , but when exposed, suddenly withdrew- claiming they only wanted to use the UN's massive library and media facilities , while they let g be used to publish articles praising the UN at the same time presenting pictures of the UN being destroyed by God in the w. The UN was the wts's "Egypt". I remember an article that condemned Ancient Israel when they asked Egypt to back them against their enemies instead of relying on Jehovah to save them, thus, Jehovah let or caused their enemies to overtake them. The wts was really trying to get the UN to help them in their court cases they were losing in various lands- why did they not trust in Jehovah? For some reason He is not backing them. I wonder why? LOL!- I still feel like I am trying to convince myself the society is wrong!

    I hope I am being clear with all of this- I don't know what I believe! I do know I will not return to the witnesses, I re-examinded Judaism but do not want to return to that either- I want freedom from religion- but have no peace of mind. I hope in time I will find a balence again. Thank you tal!

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    Your doing a good job too factfinder....keep up the good work

  • factfinder

    @redhare67- I'm not sure I understand what you are saying in your post, but thank you for trying to encourage me!

    @Mad Sweeny-thank you (and everyone who posted here about this) for helping me to have a better understanding about how born-ins viewed the "truth"- I do see now it is like you wrote- that you DID believe in it just as I did and also felt great dissapointment when discovering it is not true. You mention that you LOVED "the truth". So you really feel as dissapointed as I do- the anger stems from the disappointment and realization that the teachings of the wt were lies and a false hope that caused us to make sacrifices in our lives for nothing. I'm glad you brought out that you LOVED the "truth"- I was under a misconception regarding born-ins. Thank you for mentioning this.

    @Billy the Ex-Bethelite- I am sorry that you too experienced massive dissapointment. I appreciate your encouragement and I'm sure others do too! Thank you!

    @Concerned JW-thank you for trying to encourage me but I don't think you understand that the GB are wrong. If something is TRUE- it does not need to get changed. Too many things that I was taught from the TRUTH book as being the truth, have been discarded or changed. Thus, I was told lies and I preached those lies door to door. The new generation teaching is pathetic and has no real scriptural backing. I hope that you will carefully examine the WT's history and teachings-then you will realize they are wrong. What do you think of the fact, for example, that the wts says that in 1918/1919 Jesus came to inspect the worlds religions and found the WTS alone to be teaching the truth and being faithful. yet, they celebrated Christmas and Birthdays back then-just as the other religions do. But the wts will say that they got new light from Jehovagh that these holidays are pagan and so decades later gave them up. Yet- it was ok with Jesus that they celebrated them back then? And he made them the F&DS while they were doing so? Jesus said it was ok-he could overlook it? Yet now- witnesses get disfellowshipped for celebrating those holidays, thus- the F&DS from 1918/19 would be disfellowshipped and so would Jesus! If something is the truth- it is always true. I was thinking about this earlier today- this is why I am bringing it up here. Why keep making up excuses for the GB and ignoring the evidence? I hope you will do an examination of your own about these things. Thank you for trying to encourage me.

    @mrs.jones5- you made me laugh! I read Concerned JWs post- then saw your -it was very funny! Thank you! I felt the same way!

  • factfinder

    @still thinking- thank you!!!!!

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