Nic,
I can relate to your story. I was an unbaptized publisher who was disassociated in 1987 and about six weeks later they published the watchtower article about not being able to disassociate an unbaptized publisher.
I became pregnant after my first sexual experience. I feel that Watchtower policies regarding dating outside of the organization was the main reason I ended up pregnant.
I was 1 of 5 children of a liberal elder (my father believe in higher education, he allowed us to participate in some extra curricular activities, etc.), who the brothers had it out for. So we were not viewed as a spiritual family. Plus my sisters and I are fairly attractive (so we had the wrath of the sisters and brothers who lusted after us). We would always receive snide remarks regarding our dress (dress to short, jewelry to showy, makeup to adult like). One time a brother remarked that my dress was too short (it was above my knee a little) and too tight. I told him that everyone should have their eyes on the bible and watchtowers and not my legs and hips.
Anyhow back to the topic. I would sneak about with my boyfriend who I was secretly dating for about 2 years. Because I was not allowed to date like normal couples (movies, dinners, etc.), I would sneak to his apartment or he would sneak to my job to see me. So after 2 years of spending isolated time together, we had unprotected sex and I ended up pregnant.
I hid the pregnancy from everyone (including the father). I was so ashamed and went to the abortion clinic 2 times, but could not go through with it. Finally, I made arrangments to give my child up for adoption.......but after delivering him I changed my mind and confided to the nurse, she called my mother. My mother was shocked and hurt, but very supportive and told me she would do all that she could to help me with my child. And I mean she did everything to cursing out the elders and to even leaving my father, because of the abuse he gave to her for supporting her teenage daughter and grandchild. (this is another story, maybe I will relate later).
On my release from the hospital, I get a call from the elders wanting to meet with me. My mother said wait until the baby is 6 weeks and I get my strength back. So I met with them when my son was about 2 months old.
The judicial committe was a pure nightmare. The ask how many times did I have sex? What kind of sex? If the father was going to stay active in my life?
I was tired of the interogation and asked one of the elders how many times do you fuck your wife a week and told them that they could do whatever they wanted, because I would never step foot back into a kingdom hall again (I wish I would have stuck to this, lol).
I was dissassociated and treated horribly by the congregation. Which was not that bad, because I was always treatly badly by them. But my father was very hurting ... calling me all kinds of whores and calling my son bastards, you name it.
This story could go on forever, so let me end. Six weeks after the announcment of my disassociation from the congragation, the watchtower article changing the policy about disassociating unbaptized publishers came out. My father asked for my forgiveness and invited me to the kingdom hall the day that article was to be studied.
I went and after the meeting they were showing my son and I all of this love and concern (sickening).
Thanks for reading my story and sorry it was so long.
Almost There
