Me and my brother.

by nicolaou 60 Replies latest jw friends

  • Perry
    Perry

    Thanks for sharing the story. It meant more to me than I can at present describe with words.

    Thanks again,

    Perry

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    Wow, a couple of heavy posts, here.

    I'm so happy that my family and I have a good relationship that transcends the fact that I'm never returning to the JW's. Most of the fam isn't either. What a blessing, or luck, or whatever it is. I'm so grateful for it. Every time I read something like this I cherish it more. Thanks for the story, Nic.

    I've heard of DAA's before, happened quite a bit in my old congregation. I feel so bad for your brother nic, they really do destroy people.

    ashi

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Nic .Thanks for taking the time to share your regret. So happy you have been able to bridge the gap.i think often of the many,many lives they have destroyed. I too have a daughter & grandchildren who are afraid to speak to me.,What is the scripture? ( True love throws fear outside)!!Pity they havent found that Love- You did. God Bless

  • California Sunshine
    California Sunshine

    Dear Nic

    I found your story so heartbreaking (wiping a tear away).

    My sister has been Dsfd for 35 years, walked away, and never went back. I don't give a flying f**k what anybody thinks or does... shes my sister, I love her, and I will support her till I die.

    I'm so glad you found your brother again. Don't concentrate on what was lost. Regret gains you nothing (hard to shake though). Think of the future and the good times you two will have. Then get on with it.

    Good post.

    Sunny

  • nicolaou
    nicolaou

    Thanks guys!

    I usually check in here early in the morning (6am) to see if there's anything interesting to read before I go to work. After I started writing I knew I had to finish it - I was SO LATE!

    I have to admit that bringing all that stuff up was quite draining but I'd recommend it for anyone else going through something similar.

    Messenger:
    Thanks for the info, it's good to get it posted up here.
    When the changes were made (1987 I think) the Elders who'd been on my brothers judicial commitee visited my Mum and explained the new position to her.
    "Wasn't it wonderful that we'd received this counsel from the Faithful and Discreet Slave? Doesn't it show the value of being patient, sticking loyally to Jehovah's Organisation and being obedient to those taking the lead?"

    My Mum is a bit of an enigma. She can be a fiery little woman at times and she certainly let them know how bitter she was but even at her lowest ebb she would NOT criticise the Society. She felt that the elders had been wrong to enforce an unscriptural policy that even now the organisation had backed away from, very confusing.

    When the elders visited my brother he gave it to them straight!
    They protested that "they'd had no option but to follow the guidelines that the Society had lain down at the time."

    My brother consistently hit them with "So you were just following orders were you?!" He has nothing to do with them anymore.

    To their credit, a few older brothers and sisters who'd known us as young boys (the sort we used to call Uncle & Aunty) have tried to renew contact with my brother. He's gracious enough to accept it and be polite but he tells me that he can never really forgive them for turning their back on him as a troubled teenager, just at the time when a bit of kindly, mature support may have diverted him from such a ruinous course.

    Cornish:
    You're right about the blame thing of course, the head accepts that but the heart struggles with it.

    Frenchy:
    There are just too many examples like the sad ones you've posted. This sort of experience is what fuels my desire to make the DNC site work, so that other families are spared the heartache that so many have been through.

    Perry:
    Please email me.

    Mouthy:
    1 John 4:20 There is no fear in love, but perfect love throws fear outside, because fear exercises a restraint. Indeed, he that is under fear has not been made perfect in love.

    Everyone else: Thanks.

    Nic'

    http://www.do-not-call.org

  • SYN
    SYN

    Never heard of it happening either...but then nothing is inconceivable when it comes to the laws of the WTBTS. Nothing at all. See my sig for evidence of this.

    The earlier in the forenoon you take the sun bath, the greater will be the beneficial effect, because you get more of the ultra-violet rays, which are healing. - The Golden Age

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    I can personally vouch for the accuracy of the report on this policy. During the early 80's, several of the kids that I grew up with were disassociated. The effect was identical to disfellowshipping. In fact, one man who studied and began service but never got baptized, was publicly labeled as being no longer an approved associate.

    Years later, in the late 80's, the policy was changed and these people were contacted and informed that they had been "undisfellowshipped". As far as I know, every one of them laughed in the face of the elders and said "good riddance".

  • nicolaou
    nicolaou

    Mouthy,

    I just picked up your email, there is absolutely no need for you to apologise. I totally understood your comments and appreciate your kindness.

    Time spent in the org' can make us so apologetic.

    Nic'

    http://www.do-not-call.org

  • LDH
    LDH

    Just found this thread and wanted to say how moving it was, Nic.

    It's amazing how many of us cried ourselves to sleep at one time or another over some stupid bullshit.

    ((((((((HUGS))))))))) to you and your brother.

    Lisa

  • teejay
    teejay

    Damn.

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