i need to know if jehovahs witnesses are actually told to ....

by looloo 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • looloo

    completly ignore disfellowshipped children and never speak at all to them , also what about the children of the disfellowshipped children that are growing up unaware of the "truth " ? im thinking of writing to my inlaws who have never bothered with our child for two and a half years to tell them to just walk on by if they see us as it would confuse her if they saw us and acted as though nothing has happened . then they will be good jws and obediant to the watchtower and not blame us for not letting them see her which is what they lie and tell people !

  • cantleave

    DF's children should be shunned except in cases of family emergency. Their children should be kept in contact - and indoctrinated at every opportunity.

  • Nobleheart

    DF-ed/DA-ed children should be shunned especially if they are above 18 and no longer living under the same roof.

  • FatFreek 2005
    FatFreek 2005

    Any baptized member who [you fill in this space -- smoking and can't quit, immorality, etc], and deemed unrepentant will be disfellowshipped. Be aware that there is no stated minimum age limit and there are WT documented children as young as 6 who've been baptized. We've seen one as young as 12 who's been DFd.

    A disfellowshipped child, for example, would not be permitted to continue a relationship with any family members who do not live within his household. He would be quarantined from baptized grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. when regular family gatherings are held. Even brothers and sisters who no longer live within his household would be off-limits to this child.


  • looloo

    so if someone was really obeying the rules they should totally ignore and not just speak when nobody else is watching ? my husbands parents still talk to him occaisionally but never visit our home despite having been invited in the past , i have tried many ways to get them to see the reality of what they are doing but to no avail and now its just too late ! i dont want thier sicko religion messing up my childs mind ever ! like it did mine and my husbands . i now actually want them to ignore us all . and by doing so they will be good jws ! problem solved !

  • FatFreek 2005
    FatFreek 2005

    I saw one of my JW sons recently for the first time in 27 years. He didn't look at me and only shook my hand as I extended it in front of his hand. My wife (not his mother) was appalled.

    The occasion that brought us together was the funeral of my other son's wife. This son, Frank, has never been a JW and we have a great relationship. This shunning happened the day before the funeral in the driveway in front of Frank's home.

    The following day, however, it was somewhat different. Here we all amongst a crowd of people -- first at the funeral home, then the meal at a private home for all the families -- and the JW son appeared somewhat warm. We talked, though it was me asking whatever questions were asked. At least he answered cordially. How old are your children, what are they up to, what do you do for a living, etc.

    The difference in the 2 days was this -- he knew he had an audience. People he didn't know -- strangers would know that I was his dad and if he continued his shunning, one of them may ask him why. To save embarrassment, he put up this charade, a show for them. My wife saw right through it. She says if I die first he will not be invited into our home -- ever.


  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    i have tried many ways to get them to see the reality of what they are doing but to no avail and now its just too late !

    i dont want thier sicko religion messing up my childs mind ever

    ! like it did mine and my husbands . i now actually want them to ignore us all . and by doing so they will be good jws ! problem solved !


  • wiser

    When an outsider sees this type of behavior what impact do you think its having on them. Do you think they would want to belong to a religion they teaches shunning of a family member? Absolutely not! I wonder if the leadership has discussed the negative impact versus the requitment for new members with this policy.Or is the policy of shunnung kept secret until you join the organization.

  • barefootmarley

    i have no relationship with my jw family. i call my mom every now and then to see if she is ok. more frequently since she is now suffering with cancer. i allow her to see my daughter, for my daughters sake. i even let her go to the kh once in a while with my mom, despite the fact it angers my wife. my mother visits my home, but only when i am not there. my wife has never been affiliated with jws in any form, except for what little involvment with my jw family she has had. my mother hasnt said she loves me in 15 years. not even when i tell her. i get a vacant stare and a half assed smile.

    i had a cousin who died of an unfortunate drug overdose, and noone would speak at his funeral. not even our jw uncle. i took it upon myself to do so, much to the chagrin of the jws in attendance. my aunt, also a jw, passed away. being a eunic for jehovah she had no family of her own. my other aunt non jw) took over the arrangements of her funeral and asked me to be a pallbearer. when the elders heard that news they told my aunt that i could not be a pallbearer under any circumstance, even threatening to not give there canned funeral eulogy that is delivered at all jw funerals. my aunt was furious and gave them an earful, even telling them that when they chip in on the price they will be more than welcome to have a say in the arrangements. but out of respect for my grieving family i bowed out. they had no problem with any of her other nephews--the gay one, the soldier, the drug dealer or the others--only me. (i am not dissing my cousins here, just stating facts)

    i have not spoken with my brother for 15 years. i wouldnt even know how to begin to get ahold of him if i needed to. i sent him an email when my daughter was born, but i never got a reply. i do not even know if it was the right address. i havnt tried again.

    i had friends who were df'd a few years after me. we rekindled our relationships and got along swimmingly. we had many good times as jws and as xjws. they started going back to meetings, and eventualy started shunning me to. forgetting how it made them feel in the past.

    when i see the people i uesed to attened the kh with, they avoid me like the plauge. even going so far as to cross to the other side of the street. they make no eye contact, only stare at me out of the corner of there eye, like i am some sort of medical oddity or disgusting thing. it used to bother me. then i started to find the humor in it. now i dont care either way. it only shows me that they had no geniuine love respect or connection with me as a human being. they only had the manufactured love for me at the kh, or when they needed somthing from me. i am better off with out these "friends" and thier "society".

  • LostGeneration

    From the 7/15 WT, I've highlighted the disgusting parts. CULT!

    When Someone We Love
    Leaves Jehovah

    12 No doubt we all agree with the principle
    that we must be physically, morally, and spiritually clean in order to
    please God. (Read Titus 2:14.) There
    may be occasions, though,when our
    loyalty to this aspect of God’s purpose
    is sorely tested. Suppose, for example,
    that the only son of an exemplary
    Christian couple leaves the
    truth. Preferring “the temporary enjoyment
    of sin” to a personal relationship
    with Jehovah and with his
    godly parents, the young man is disfellowshipped.—

    13 The parents are devastated! On
    the subject of disfellowshipping,
    they know, of course, that the Bible
    says “to quit mixing in company with anyone
    called a brother that is a fornicator or a
    greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a
    drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating
    with such aman.” (1 Cor. 5:11,13) They also
    realize that the word “anyone” in this verse
    includes family members not living under
    their roof. But they love their son so much!
    Strong emotions might cause them to reason:
    ‘How can we help our boy return to Jehovah
    if we severely limit our association
    with him? Would we not accomplish more
    by maintaining regular contact with him?’

    14 Our hearts go out to those parents. After
    all, their son had a choice, and he chose to
    pursue his unchristian lifestyle rather than
    to continue to enjoy close association with
    his parents and other fellow believers.
    parents, on the other hand, had no say in
    . Nowonder they feel helpless!

    15 But what will those dear parents do?

    Will they obey Jehovah’s clear direction? Or
    will they rationalize that they can have regular
    association with their disfellowshipped
    son and call it “necessary family business”?
    In making their decision, they must not fail
    to consider how Jehovah feels about what
    they are doing
    . His purpose is to keep the organization
    clean and, if possible, to incite
    wrongdoers to come to their senses
    . How
    can Christian parents support that purpose?

    16 Moses’ brother, Aaron, faced a difficult
    situation with regard to two of his sons.
    Think of how he must have felt when his
    sons Nadab and Abihu offered illegitimate
    fire to Jehovah and He struck them dead
    . Of
    course, that ended any association those
    men could have had with their parents. But
    there ismore. Jehovah instructed Aaron and
    his faithful sons: “Do not let your heads go
    ungroomed, and you must not tear your
    garments [in mourning], that you may not
    die and that [Jehovah] may not become indignant
    against all the assembly.” (Lev. 10:
    1-6) The message is clear. Our love for
    Jehovah must be stronger than our love for
    unfaithful family members.

    17 Today, Jehovah does not immediately
    execute those who violate his laws
    . He lovingly
    gives them an opportunity to repent
    from their unrighteous works. How would
    Jehovah feel, though, if the parents of an
    unrepentant wrongdoer kept putting Him
    to the test by having unnecessary association
    with their disfellowshipped son or

    18 Many who were once disfellowshipped
    now freely admit that the firm stand taken
    by their friends and family members helped
    them come to their senses. In recommending
    the reinstatement of one youngwoman,
    the elders wrote that she had cleaned up her
    life “partly because of her fleshly brother’s
    respect for the disfellowshipping arrangement.”
    She said that “his faithful adherence
    to Scriptural guidelines helped her to want
    to return.”

    19 What conclusion shouldwe draw? That
    we need to fight against the tendency of our
    imperfect hearts to rebel against Scriptural
    counsel. We must be absolutely convinced
    that God’s way of dealing with our problems
    is always best.

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