'BELIEVE IT OR LEAVE IT' - a long time faders dilemma.

by nicolaou 47 Replies latest jw experiences

  • therevealer
  • nicolaou

    Okay, I've been through the Saturday Morning sessions you indicated MM but found nothing to support what you've suggested. I suspect the individual who reported this to you either misheard or perhaps the particular speaker at that particular convention was straying way off the official line.

    Unless any other posters can corroborate the 'culling work' reference it's probably best to forget about it rather than cause unecessary anxiety amongst faders and lurkers . .

  • MrDarkKnight

    Make your decision and live your decision. Everyone's circumstances are different. For me the fade to inactivity was best becasue my 12 year old some lives with his mom who is a staunch JW. We separated in February 2011 and I left the JWs at the same time. Being inactive allows me to visit with my Son without legal issues, but all my family and friends have effectively disfellowshipped me. I recently needed place to stay for a few days and my own mother turned me away. All I could say to that was, WOW, that was really a Christian thing to do. Hypocrites.

    But frankly I could not be happier. I am free and I am never going back. But you must be firm in your decision.

  • wheres caleb?
    wheres caleb?

    Nicolaou, empower yourself. I understand the power that they can hold on us but they are nothing. The only power they have is what we give them. Again, they are nothing but a product of their own delusion. What prophecy have they got right?

    I walked away not feeling the need to DA or make it known that I choose not to be a part of that group of misery. They have no authority and I will not dignify them by feeling that I have to follow some protocol.

    Elders are cowards. I have never met an elder that I can't shred with reality or the scriptures. Why haven't they DF'd me? And if they were to disfellowship me, so what? I recognize that our journeys are different. My only message to you is to remember that the only power they have is the power that we give them. Empower yourself.

    Belief or faith has allowed them to believe that they have authority over Jehovah's belongings. How would you rate their performance? They are a joke. In some cases, delusion kicks in and allows them to suggest some credibility despite a history of never getting it right. For those that dedicated years to the delusion, they choose to live in denial and follow the same path that they have only known. Good for them, may they find happiness.

    Others can find a better happiness away from mental atrophy. Just a thought, I used to care about what was brought out at the district conventions. Curiosity is not enough to make me walk backwards.

  • ziddina

    Ow ow ow...

    I sure feel for those who have to 'fade'... It's a very hard road to walk.

    I suspect that many young JWs are shortening their fade time because the Watchtower Society has become much more intense and restrictive. I can only dimly perceive how difficult it must be, living constantly in that same atmosphere of depression and fear as the believing Witnesses, but being intensely AWARE that it's a cult and a trap...

    If I were in that situation, the ONLY way I wouldn't go freaking nuts, would be to act as a 'spy' - and reveal every bit of 'inside' information that I could... In the [perhaps vain] hope that I could somehow accellerate the demise of the Watchtower organization...

    But at least that course of action might prevent others from joining... That would be some consolation...


  • Retrovirus

    Welcome, MrDarkKnight!


  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    Nic, I don't know whether you listened to the sessions linked to by therevealer up there but if so, those were from the 2010 convention not this year's.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    I "faded" but did not df or da myself. I simply walked away.

    Yes, I lost all of my "friends". Meh, who needs them. I'd rather have a few real friends who love me for me than a hundred associates who practise conditional friendship.

    I have to walk a thin line to keep the peace with my only sibling, but her daughter has made it clear she wants nothing to do with the JWs, and if my sister ever shunned her own daughter, she'll have me to deal with. But so far, so good.

    It is possible to leave without being df'd if you play your cards right. There is heaps of advice on this forum on how to fade. Use the advice and experience of others and you should be able to fade successfully.

  • ziddina

    Okay.... There's lots of good advice on this board about 'fading', but if I understood Nicolaou right [spelling?], he's sick of playing the 'fade' game...

    I wish he could take a LOOOONG leave of absence - maybe move away. It sounds like he's stuck where he's at. Children in the cult, family in the cult...

    I wish I could help him. The only thing I can suggest is what I have suggested - play 'spy'. But that gets old if one is waiting and hoping that their loved ones will wake up and leave, but it doesn't seem to be happening...

    My sympathies, Nicolaou...

  • NewChapter

    I suspect that many young JWs are shortening their fade time because the Watchtower Society has become much more intense and restrictive.

    I'm sorry they practice emotional terrorism. This is a spot no one should be forced into, but there you are. Keep us updated. I'm so disgusted with the whole shunning aspect I can barely stand it.

    I suspect that many young JWs are shortening their fade time because the Watchtower Society has become much more intense and restrictive.

    This is what I can't decide. Are they actually becoming more restrictive, or is that my perception. I'm just not sure. Has anything actually fundamentally changed? Again, I'm just not sure.

    Now I'm off to learn about this culling thing.


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