You had to go an ask me why I'm so angry?

by Mindchild 47 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  proplog2

  Mindchild:

  You obviously are getting the wrong type of therapy.

  Your dad was an authoritarian asshole but that does not follow automatically from being a JW.

  My dad gave me three spankings in my whole life.

  1. Painting his car with tar - age 3

  2. Kicking a hole in the wall during a temper tantrum - age 7

  3. Kicking a hole in the wall during a temper tantrum - age 11

  I still would like to kick a hole in the wall - but since I would have to fix it. I don't.

  I went to school in the 1950's and teachers were still allowed to paddle students. I got a lot of public asswhippings in school.
  One for picking my nose.

  Never needed therapy for it though.
• 

  safe4kids

  Eman,

  Skip Starbuck is Mindchild's yahoo ID. As for what his post is about, it's the pain he endured as a child for being beaten over something he had no control over.

  (((Skipper))),

  I'm glad that you feel safe sharing this with us. And I'm really glad that you are able to identify a painful experience and talk about it. That's what is so healing!! Hiding those memories, especially from ourselves, is incredibly damaging. Now you can start the process of letting go, not that it's easy or done overnight, but at least it's a start.

  s and (((hugs))),
  Dana
• 

  teenyuck

  {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

  MC, I am so sorry you are still hurting....I understand.

  Love and hugs,
  Tina
• 

  dins

  MC,

  Post brought back memories that I haven't had for a while. My father was a total bastard to us as well. I remember once coming home from a meeting and my sister was in the front seat. We had stopped and gotten some milk at the store that evening and it the carton leaked all over his crappy car. He took his fist and punched the side of her head really hard as if it was her fault.

  That's only one of many pleasant memories but I try not to dwell on it too much.

  My father was in the hospital last week with chest pains and they were running some tests on him. And although the hospital is right up the street from where I work I just couldn't bring myself to visit him. Had the number and couldn't bring myself to dial it.

  Does this sound cold or is it just a case of you reap what you sow?

  I smile now..I am an adult and I have a great life. I adore my son and I never feel the need to hit him or belittle him or go all fanatical on him over unmade beds or clothes on the floor. I have the power to change it all and I am trying!

  Diana
• 

  Julie

  Greetings Proplog2,

  You said:

  Your dad was an authoritarian asshole but that does not follow automatically from being a JW.

  Perhaps you may have overlooked the beginning of the story, which clearly demonstrates the circumstances that were the cause of the situation. Here it is:

  :I was at a district assembly

  See? A "district assembly". This happens to be an event that is exclusive to the WT religion. If this child had not been at this "district assembly" the environment the sickness was endured in would have likely been more accomodating, thus having avoided the whole, horribly unjust ordeal. Yes, this father felt such obligation to the Borg, (because of their clever manipulation techniques), and reverence to it's travelling show they called a "district assembly", that he inflicted this severe suffering upon an innocent, ill child.

  Being in the WT had EVERYTHING to do with this particular, extremely damaging experience (and who knows how many more???).

  Dear Mindchild,

  I am just sickened at what you endured. I have suffered some abuse, witnessed much more and it is a particular soft-point for me, I am greatly passionate about it. Please accept my sincerest empathies and wishes for a strong recovery. So glad you are getting help, it shows your determination to heal. A most encouraging sign of excellent results to come!

  Regards,
  Julie
• 

  bluesapphire

  Julie - great points. I don't know why people like Proplog keep insisting that the borg is innocent when it comes to stuff like this. Maybe they just attract the type of men who would do this to their child. But there are way too many stories of JW men and women who abuse their children in settings such as meetings, assemblies, DCs, field service, etc. -- to be ignored.

  Doesn't it seem like every dub wants to fit into the perfect pictures of paradise in the rags and brochures? And obviously, a child throwing up doesn't quite fit this picture, does it? Neither does a child falling asleep at the meetings (I know children who are abused for falling asleep at the theocratic ministry school). This thread really made me sad.

  (((((((MC)))))))
• 

  Delite75

  Many times, those JW parents were "off the wall" and very opinionated. As a single parent, they tried to "run my home", always telling me to get a switch from the tree at the KH. For what? My kids were NOT misbehaving at the time.

  My son had hernia surgery on a Thursday and he was in a lot of pain after the anesthesia wore off. Could you believe that one of the elders DARED to call me to see if I was going to the District Assembly at the Vet in Philly? I told him that my son had surgery and he said, "You can still bring him. Don't miss the assembly!"

  Now, what male wants to climb steps at Vets Stadium (or any steps) less than 24 hours after having surgery in their groin area?

  I did NOT attend and was rebuked for it. But I chewed these folks out for their stupidity. One MS had the nerve to also get on me. I asked him why did his WIFE stay home after giving birth to their baby a week before the assembly? He said "doctor's orders". And I said the same applied here.

  I have never taken a sick child to a meeting or assembly and I would never go myself. That's one reason why I'm GLAD to be free of these idiots!
• 

  outnfree

  Proplog,

  You are right that not all JW fathers were abusive assholes like MC's.

  Imagine this scenario, even AFTER Dad had insisted that 9 yr. old Mindchild attend the assembly while ill:

  Dad chooses seats close to the rest rooms, knowing MC will need them.
  Dad encourages MC to use the rest rooms IMMEDIATELY upon feeling nauseous.
  Dad accompanies MC to the rest room and, when he realizes that his son is very close to vomiting and all the stalls and urinals and even sinks are occupied, QUICKLY and LOUDLY says "Excuse me, brothers, my son is ill and about to vomit --- do you mind?" giving the poor bro who wound up getting messed a chance to get out of the way and show some Christian agape love!
  Dad nicely thanks the brother who moved, wets a paper towel with cold water, and gently wipes MC's brow.
  Dad then helps MC clean up and accompanies him back to the seat, feeling remorse for forcing his sick boy to endure the assembly and the embarassment, quietly telling MC he's sorry and won't make that mistake again.

  NOW, that would be a loving, Christ-like father!

  outnfree

  It's what you learn after you know it all that counts -- John Wooden
• 

  Julie

  Very well said Outnfree. Excellent.

  Regards,
  Julie
• 

  expatbrit

  This brought back a memory or two for me as well. But from a slightly different angle.

  When I was young (about 8) I had a bout of pneumonia. In the early stages it involved massive coughing fits, often leading to vomiting.

  My mum therefore decided that we wouldn't go to the district convention because I was too ill.

  You know what? I wouldn't let her not go. I kept on and on at her that I was fine to go and that we should go because of how importnant assemblies are.

  Eventually she capitulated, and I spent several miserable days with a large orange bowl at the convention, coughing and puking my guts up for Jehovah, while my mum sat embarrassed beside me.

  Christ! The indoctrination goes so deep that kids even abuse themselves!

  Mindchild, I'm sorry to hear your bad experience. I hope that revisiting it helps to make it a less painful memory.

  Expatbrit