Hi discreetslave, I too enjoyed reading your life story. Amazing how similar many things have been in your life as in my, forexample the service in foreign language group, and now after they disfellowshiped me, depression and difficulties. Also what lead to the anointing moment, me as you, I tried my best to do all what the "fds" told to do and most importantly that I wanted to please God. Also intense bible reading and studing. And then after been born again Jehovah God started to open my eyes to all the false teachings of WT-society. But I did not dismiss them at once, because they maybe mistaken and they could correct what was wrong, and I still consider Jehovah's witnesses to be my brothers and sisters, but mislead. I don't find other churches better, and the world don't love truth lovers. Many "godly"worldy people will likewise regard born again christians with jelousy, and if you have to work with them, they will not like you when they see that you have Christ like qualities. It is just as simple as Jesus said: For he that practices vile things hates the light and does not come to the light, (John 3:20).
It was about 6 years ago I was born again. I did not want to leave the congregation, and I wanted to help them spiritually and doctrinally, so I tried to stay in the organization, but I knew that speaking about new undertanding could lead to disfellowshipment, so I tried to strengthen my self so that if that happens I would not lose my faith and that I would not turn to a real apostate. So after about 3 years from becoming anointed I first offered GB my help in a letter. But there was no reply. So then I felt justified to talk to brothers and sisters about more correct understanding of many things. During all that time I never surched any information from apostates. So for about 2 months thanks to Jehovah God and Jesus Christ I managed to speak with many brothers and sisters in my congregation and neighbour congregations without being at once disfellowshiped, but the elders are still angry at me after 3 years. My most hot topic was that God's kingdom was not established 1914. So now as disfellowshiped without my consent, I've tried to stay spiritually alive. With downs and ups. And I try to be a discreet and wise slave and to give spiritual food and witness when possible. I hope Jehovah will give me greater opportunities. But first of all I have to become firm my self. So don't do any hasty moves, I mean, do not disassociate yourself, do as big witness as possible, don't give them up so easily. Let them be the bad guys, kicking you out. And do not let yourself be mislead by real apostates or other mistaken persons. Often even here we former witnesses have also erroneous understandings of bible prophecy and doctrines and we make ajustments to our thinking. So don't be trapped by ideas of freedom to break God's commandments, for example to abstain from blod. I have felt that since they disfellowshiped, my life has only got more difficult. And I expect that in the future I will end up in more challenging situations. But if I'll survive spiritually I have to be spiritually strong.
So dear sister I wish you the very best and I hope you make all the way to the heavenly kingdom to be there with Jesus and Jehovah God