Been lurking since last August and figured I'd sign up. Just a brief
history (although I feel like I've read this experience 100 times on
this board already):
Was raised in a 'divided household' -my father was 'opposed' and my
mother beat and guilted the hell out of me. Baptized at 17, chose to
reg aux pio out of HS rather than college (much to the disappointment
to my father)... Lived all my life in the NYC metro area so Bethel
influence was always big in the cong... I have just about as much
insight into the Bethel mentality as you can have without ever having
lived there- I should've known better!
Got married to my best friend (and still am, quite happily) Continued
'progressing' in the cong. MS then elder. I have to say for the most
part, I really did enjoy my time as an elder- the congregation was
happy, 'prosperous', and developed a rather 'liberal' feel to it
overall. Not a bad place to be.
Then my life changed about 6 years ago- I got seriously ill,
experienced an extreme and life - altering 'nervous breakdown' after
which I began having serious doubts about god. I 'stepped aside' as an
elder and was really treated very compassionately by the brothers. I
could tell it pained them to see me suffer the way I had. I figured
the best I could do was just keep doing what I was supposed to do (
meetings, field service) and things would eventually sort themselves
out.
Fortunately I had access to some great doctors who helped immensely
with my condtion, and with the help of the right meds, and I gradually
started to feel better. I was ready to rally and make a spiritual
comeback.
It was around the same time that the 2010 district convention came to
town. To be honest the 'overlapping generation' nonsense really didn't
hit me at first. But what upset me was hearing several very sincere,
humble friends express their discontent with this so-called 'new
light'- it was like the Society was playing us for fools. These were
not 'rabble rousers' in any sense of the term. One person asked me
point blank "Are things (world conditions) really worse now than ever
before?"
I knew something was up. I thought to myself, if I am going to make a
sprititual comeback, these questions and doubts need to be addressed.
One thing that had bothered me for YEARS was the 607 date. Living near
NYC I had frequently visited the many museums there including the Met
and Jewish Museum. It was strange to me how there was this 20 yr
disparity between their date and the society's date for Jerusalem's
fall (and by extention anything dating from that time period). I also
realized this date was integral to the 1914 'chronology'
Luckily for me, I had been given the entire Studies in the Scriptures
boxed set as a gift about 15 or so years ago, but had never read them.
What better place could there be to learn about the 1914 chronolgy
than straight from the horses mouth?
What an eye opener!
What a load of crap!
The house of cards began to fall.
I walked around numb for about two weeks.
What should I do?
What do I believe in?
Well, my 'brief history' has dragged on longer than I thought!
So, basically where I am at now is where I see a lot of people here -
STUCK! I absolutely LOVE my wife and her family (all 'in the truth'
except for my father in law) and I don't want to rock the boat. She
essentially knows how I feel and can understand my cynicism, but the
stock "where will we go?" question is raised. She esentially knows
that most of the stuff is total BS but is not ready to throw it all
away.
Here is my only real hope at this point:
I really do get the impression something big is going to go down in
the next 5-10 years as far as the Society is concerned. 2014 isn't
just going to pass by without notice. I can't imagine people at least
secretly wondering,"Where the hell is my new system?"
