I walked out of an Elder's Meeting

by AlmightyDog 65 Replies latest jw experiences

  • WTWizard

    This is a clear cut case. A "brother" has been dealing fraudulently with multiple other witlesses in other congregations. It got so bad that it made the news as a model scam. This was not just a single incident where a single client got bad service or had a grudge against this "brother". In fact, it was used as a model for fraud. Why in hell would there be any argument that the "brother" should be disfellowshipped for fraud?

  • dozy

    Good for you.

    I also was appointed as an elder in my early 30's and quickly became disillusioned with the petty elders politics & the obvious lack of any claimed holy spirit. I did experience other elders walking out but never got to that stage myself (though I do recall standing up & was ready to leave , but chickened out!)

  • luna2

    The behavior of elders and other so-called mature men in the congregation can really open eyes. I worked for an elder once, long ago, who did more to discredit Jehoover in the eyes of ANYONE he came into contact with than any ten bad JWs. He was arrogant, opinionated, often dead wrong, had no compassion and was bordering on a cheat in his business at the time I worked for him. After I left, he apparently did commit fraud, left his wife and family for a time (all kinds of speculation on where he was and what he was doing), sold his business and got sued by the IRS for back taxes.

    They never disfellowshipped him, though he was removed as an elder. It was proven that he was taking people's electric payments and never forwarding the money to the electric company. This wasn't a mistake or an oversight, it was willful. But his family was prominent in the congregation and he'd been an elder for many years, so they caved to pressure and didn't kick him out.

    That letter that you received sounds exactly like something he would have done. Everybody is wrong but the guy who IS wrong.

    Good for you on walking out. I believe in escaping the borg by the most passive means possible, especially if you have family still in. If you can let them believe that you are stepping down due to severe disappointment and stress, and slowly fade out...again, letting them believe that it was the events that happened while you were an elder that have caused depression, they might let you be. While its a great fantasy to do what william hahn's friend did (punching the PO to the ground), its not practical if you want any kind of contact with your family in the future.

    Good luck to you.

  • gubberningbody


    You'll find many elders, ms's and pio's here, bethelites, missionaries and pubs who all found their fill and had to leave.

    The leaving only starts with the organization, you'll find.

    The light get's brighter the further away you go because the "light" of the "Truth" is darkness, and "how great that darkness is".

  • punkofnice

    I walked away! they're going to announce my DF/DA and I don't care. These forums built me up. Made me strong enough to realize they have no hold on me. The bOrg has NO authority over me. (Sorry this is about me but I'm just making a point).

    I knew there would be fallout and there was/is, but I cope because my happiness of being 'out' outweighs my misery of being 'in' that cancerous cult.

    I was comforted by another ex-JW pal who told me this very truthful thing:

    'Those people who truly love you will continue to do so. Those that shun you are not worth bothering with!'

    I followed that maxim, stiff upper lipped Brit as I am.

    It took a while to finally leave and I got the horrors at first because I didn't know 'where else to go'.

    As it happens, you don't have to go anywhere (I was the victim of cult manipulation, guilt, fear and phobia).

    Keep us posted doggie boy!

  • nugget

    I admire your courage. The fact that you are happy to accept what the future holds shows that you are mentally out of the organisation and that is important. The road is tough since leaving and keepping family intact is very difficult and the loss of easy conversation with loved ones is painful.

    I would say do not participate in their process make your decision and stick with it, you do not need their ratification it is their procedure and their rule. It is relevent in as much as what they decide will have a huge impact on the family still in.

    Take a week away to clear you head and decide what your journey will look like be confident that you are happy with your decision. I know that once I was out mentally and realised the full extent of the duplicity and lying in the organisation then I wanted to be free of it and not be associated. I took several months building a new life before the final DF'ing and I think that helped to consolidate my thoughts and help me make friends who have proved to be warm and supportive people. You need some support in your life real flesh and blood close at hand people as well as the awesome support on the board. This board helped me on my way and gave me courage I am sure it will do the same for you to.

  • nugget

    punkofnice I didn't realise you were a brit too must have been asleep.

  • punkofnice

    @nugget - Yeah. Cambridgeshire's arch-angel apostate!

    We're waking up all over at a pace. It's wonerfult to see a 'great crowd' leaving the cancerous JW cult for freedom.

    I hope Mr Dog makes it out speedily as the more you linger is the more it screws with your brain.

    I made a clean break, refusing to have 'shepherding visits' or 'chats'. I refuse to waste time that could be put to better use watching TV or making washTowel magazines!

    Like this one..............

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard


    sounds like you are coming through OK.

    (Sorry this is about me but I'm just making a point).

    I dont think you need to apologise here. You are among friends.

    Glad to hear Mrs P is OK with you. Good luck.


  • blondie

    The final straw for my husband, an elder, was the bald-faced lying of elders. He could no longer support the lies or pretend to believe them. In a twisted way they did us a favor, helping us to leave WTS.

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