I walked out of an Elder's Meeting

by AlmightyDog 65 Replies latest jw experiences

  • DesirousOfChange

    We're very close, we are at the end.

    Where have I heard that before????.........although actually it said "very, very close". (Check your WT CD for that quote, WT study article from about 1999 or 2000.)

  • jamiebowers
    As to the advice to take advantage of the situation and fade, I would if I could. Unfortunately in January of this year I confessed some of my doubts to my wife and she immediately called her parents to come over to "snatch me out of the fire". As I mentioned earlier, my FIL is also an elder on the same body. They believe they have succeeded in bringing me back, but are keeping a hyper-vigilant eye on my "spirituality". A fade is impossible with my current situation, and I just don't think I can continue living a lie. My wife told me back then that she doesn't care if the organization is right or not, she's content to stay and wait on Jehovah because of how much better her mother's life has turned out. She will choose Jehovah over me. I don't want to end an otherwise happy marriage, but conditional love is no love at all. At this point I think I may have a better chance with my children by showing them they don't have to believe in anything just because someone told them they should. I want to be a good father to them and give them the freedom to think for themselves.

    Well, this complicates things a little, but even if you da, your wife can't divorce you per Watchtower rules unless you "spiritually endanger" her. You probably already know that, because you're an elder. And you're right, conditional love is no love at all. I'm so sorry she told you that, but the proof is in the pudding. If you da and she wants to seperate, let her go and see what it's like to be a single sister with children who has no "scriptural grounds" to remarry. Thatvery situation just may wake her up...or maybe not. The key thing is to maintain your rights as a father no matter what happens in the congregation or your marriage.

    Good luck to you. Keep posting.

  • DesirousOfChange

    JWs are their own worst enemies. No "apostate army" could ever wreak as much havoc on the congregations as the losers who get appointed into positions of authority.

    Now THAT'S something to think about!!

    Losers is all they have left willing to grovel until they get a position "of authority".

  • Reality79


  • leavingwt
    Ray's personal experience is so powerful and his manner so kind, that I have to recommend COC as a must read.

    This cannot be repeated enough, IMHO.

  • maninthemiddle
    Ray's personal experience is so powerful and his manner so kind, that I have to recommend COC as a must read.

    I agree..Repeating.....

    and bookmarking.

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    Hello almightydog.

    I have just read up your earlier thread. You have indeed spoken to your family about your feelings, so they could turn you in and try and get you DFd. But I wonder if they will really do that?

    Why not try telling the CO etc, that you are shocked by what you have seen in the elders meetings ( and believe me, your congregation is by no means an exception),

    and that you need time to think, and that you will do that in your own time.

    Stick to that story, and dont repeat any of your feelings about the org. If you dont repeat anything, then its only your family who are witnesses, and I wonder if they would really testify against you.( do they want you back or do they want you out?).

    Then fade, slowly but surely. Sure, they will try and reactivate you. You know how that works.

    I dont think they can DF you for responding to various questions with:

    "I'm so disillusioned by what i've seen " or

    "Certain actions have really shocked me"

    as long as you refuse to give more details than that.

    Its a way of blaming them. I'm fading because of what YOU'VE done.

    Its a long road, but might help keep close to you're family.

    Good luck A.D.

  • faundy

    Could someone tell me what a COBE is?? I don't know if I'm just being thick.

  • sizemik

    I could be wrong faundy (I've been out for 6 years) . . . but from what I've gathered from this forum it's Chairman of the Body of Elders or something like that . . . what we used to call a PO (Presiding Overseer)

    If I'm wrong someone will correct me eventually

  • faundy

    That makes sense; thank you Sizemik!

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