My Uncle is Dying.

by LouBelle 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    Nearly a year ago my uncle was diagnosed with prostate cancer - he initially thought it was just a bladder infection and it took him passing out to go have more serious tests. Thus he received this news and shared it with us, his family.

    The family rallied behind him and we all did everything we could to get him to his treatments, make sure he ate properly and supported him. My cousins came out from the UK when it looked like he was going to die in a couple of days. He had a life saving operation and has continued to live. My 2 cousins and I lived at the hospital 24 / 7. We learnt how to change drips, how to care for him, how to change stoma bags and to do this without making him feel uncomfortable. I have seen this strong healthy man fade away and suffer through immense pain and still try get through it with a smile.

    It leaves you feeling helpless. There is nothing you can do that can save him. He has gone through radiation and chemo, he is undergoing another set of chemo treatments. He has lost weight, losing his hair and slowly but surely losing hope that he will win this battle. All we can do is talk to him, let him know he is loved.

    Why do I put this his story. I didn't know how rife cancer was before. I have sat in hospitals and seen young children, teens, adults and the elderly suffering from this disease - so men check your prostates, women check your breasts, be aware of it. In the year that I've been associated with this disease I have come to know that many many many are affected by this disease. People don't know how to deal with it, disease makes them feel awkward. If you know a sufferer reach out to them, they need a little love and compassion.

    My uncles' suffering made me stop and look at my life. I want to live a life that when I look back/ or my time comes, there will be no regrets. I have set certain things in motion to aid me in reaching that goal. It makes you face mortality - this is always hard and my uncle will be missed when his time comes. You cannot prepare for someones' passing, no matter how much you try. The reality of it is always so harsh.

    It's heartbreaking to watch someone you love die more and more every day. I do not know how his mind hasn't cracked yet. He was a fantastic sportsman and a father figure to my cousins and to my brother.

    I wish I could do more, somehow what I do is not enough. That is how I feel anyway.

    To those of you who know of someone suffering, I wish you all the support and love to make it another day. To those that are suffering, strength to you, for it is not an easy battle. If you can reach out and give a little of your time / love to someone else, do it, it means so much.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    I'm sorry, Lou honey. How old is he?

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    (((((((LouBelle)))))))

    You are one awesome, compassionate woman.

    I have come to love and admire you so much.

    You're doing great with your uncle.

    May you and yours be blessed to time indefinite.

    Syl

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    Sorry to hear of your uncle.

    Cancer is rife through both sides of my family. A cousin died of cancer just a few weeks ago. My mother died of cancer, her sister and their brother had cancer, grandparents had cancer, cousins on the other side had cancer... it'll probably just be a matter of time for me too.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    May i ask his age?

    I am nearing 50, the age where here in Oz men are told to get prostrate checks every 2 years.

    I'm the sort og guy that always goes to the doctoer for 'peace of mind' checkups. I have no intention of sudden bad news if i can help it, and am not afraid to ask for certain tests.

    Thankyou for the reminders to us all, both about health, and about living a full life.

    You bless your uncle with much love by the sounds of it, all the best as your family grieves the loss of the man now and in the time to come.

    oz

  • blondie
    blondie

    Sorry, to hear this, Loubelle. I'm glad there are people who love him helping him.

    The elders in this area would have delegated that responsibility to the sisters and taken credit for it from the platform.

    Love, Blondie

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    Hiya guys - thank you! It is a difficult disease and just bringing simple things to the forefront like checkups is so important.

    My uncle is 55.

    Oz - very important to go get checked up.

    Prostate cancer can be cured rather simply IF caught in time. If not, it can spread. My uncle now has bladder, urethra and rectum cancer ( I didn't mention that in my initial post) It has spread to the surrounding organs. They cannot operate as it has gone into the surrounding nervous system and he would literally die on the operating bed if they opened him up.

    Broken Promises - make sure you go for check ups, eat cancer fighting foods (Broccerli, Spinach, PawPaw, Grapes, Cayen Peper - fantastic) Get as much of these foods into your way of life - it can help.

    Snowbird - ty! You and many others on here are fantastic people, all the better going through what we did and come out of it with love and compassion.

    Blondie - Thank heavens I'm out of that!

  • watersprout
    watersprout

    Awww honey I'm soo sorry

    My aunt died from lung cancer nearly two years ago. My FIL had prostrate cancer. They only found it when he asked for a random test to check. They got it early and whipped the whole prostrate out. He was one of the lucky ones.

    I agree with what you are saying about looking back on your life with no regrets... We should do something meaningful everyday.

    Peace

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Hi LB, Im very sorry x

    Ive just lost a family member last week from bowel cancer that was misdiagnosed as Irritable bowel.......I know what you are going through. When I was nursing, we were trained to help patients achieve "a good death".......I never realised what that really was until recently. Its being with them, telling them they are loved, saying what you need to say, giving comfort, making sure the care is the best you can get............

    You are doing a valuable thing...telling him he is loved and being there with him. Nobody could ask for more. After all, being loved and giving love is what life is all about really............................

    My thoughs are with you, keep strong x

    Paula x

  • TotallyADD
    TotallyADD

    Hang is there LouBelle our hearts go out to you. My wife Reopened Mind and I know what it is to give intensive care to a love one. My advice is make sure you take some time everyday to take care of yourself. My wife and I would take about 20 to 30 mins. every afternoon to have tea and coffee together on our back porch. It really help us to get through all of it. Stay strong and stay positive. Totally ADD

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