Wife wants me to read Secret of Family Happiness, any suggestions?

by insearchoftruth 41 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  garyneal

  My wife won't try to read those books with me anymore. She thinks I have been badly influenced by this apostate group. She frequently uses character assasination with me whenever I show views that are different than her own. Exhausting....

  Read over the book with her if you want, only you can decide how you will use the information. You can point out from time to time how she is not being a 'submissive' wife if she is anything like my wife and likes to get bossy from time to time or refuses to head my instructions on certain matters. However, I personally feel that doing this only makes you look like a typical controlling Jehovah's Witness husband if done too often.
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  garyneal

  I must also point out jgnat's point in similarly that my wife's failed attempt to 'win me over without a word' had nothing to do with her but more to do with the doctrines of her religion. They are a lot of things but the truth it is not.

  Plus, I've already been in a cult similar to hers. The Independent Fundamental Baptists (IFB). While they support more mainstream views on Christ, Salvation, etc. they too teach that theirs is the only true church or truest to the Bible and regularly put down other churches and label most things in the world as Satanic. Take a look at the info tab on that facebook to see what I mean.

  Her religion brought up too many bad memories from that chapter in my life. It took a while for me to undo that damage and I think the Christian friends I met at college helped a lot. I was not about to go into something like that again without thoroughly checking things out for myself. My doing so led me here.
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  WTWizard

  Playing up the headship issue might work. You emphasize that the book actually condones tyranny on the part of the husband. At which point, you should raise the question as to whether that constitutes "a happy family", to have the husband being a tyrant. That should blow it for good on that call.
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  Knowsnothing

  Just ask her, "Honey, do you believe I need to overhaul who I am to make you happy, or are you still in-love with the man you met, the man that already makes you happy everyday?"

  Then, book a trip to Santo Domingo, and toast to your happiness.
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  skeeter1

  You are in the middle of a cruel joke. I bet when you married her, you didn't expect your converting to a cult to be a center struggle for your marraige. The more you fight her on her religion, the more she will pull back into her corner.

  My poor brother-in-law had to endure this with my sister. He just saId, "All religion is bull shi*. I ain't interested. I am an athiest" She stopped trying to convert him. He figured out that if he makes a joke or comment about the JWs, she goes into hyper-defensive mode. So, he says absolutely NOTHING about the JWs. As a result, she "drags" herself to a Sunday meeting about every 6 to 8 weeks! Oh, a few weeks ago he told her that, "Maybe you're too tired and shouldn't go this weekend." That was the wrong thing to say as she made herself a martyr to go (prove him wrong) and "felt so much better afterwards." He will not repeat that mistake. He noted that, as long as he isn't critical, she manages to get out of all the JW suggestions to have a private bible study.... Sometimes, silence is golden.
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  charlie brown jr.

  Oh the book that was to Save My Marriage ..... Secret of Family Happiness.

  We studied that book as a couple many times..... it only made things worse!!!

  I think it's still in my Book bag in the Cellar all covered with Dust....

  I just might see if I can find it and read a Couple Chapters to my Non JW Wife and see he long it takes her to say.... Are you F***** Kidding?

  Nope..... that's the real Deal Babe! Oh one other thing Honey... when you pray..from now on you must Cover your Head if I'm in the House to show me respect and to remind you of your Position In this Family....

  After 3-4 hrs of me Locked in the Bathroom waiting for her to calm down...maybe she will Understand where Many of Us came from!
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  steve2

  It's ironic that, if your JW wife really believed you were the head of the household, she wouldn't push JW literature on you - she'd respect your stand.

  I think the whole area of one spouse trying to 'sweet talk' the other into changing beliefs and/or behaviour is fascinating. My preference is that the spouse wanting the other to change needs to be less sly and way more upfront about their intentions.
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  Wasanelder Once

  Why not take a highlight pen and color it like they do?
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  insearchoftruth

  I have tried to read some of the subject book and I truly am amazed at how some women can read this and not really question it. I like the suggestion of a parallel book read with her, but when I floated the idea in the past she was in jw mode and said that the secret book was bible based and others are based on the current system. Hoping she gets beyond that soon but who really knows.

  I think I will go ahead and read with her because right now many of the things the book places on the wife are things she does not follow through with and maybe discussions of these items and why her actions are not 'going against the bible' but are going against the GB would be good.

  One other piece I am wondering if I can use is the upcoming ( think from July wt) that Flipper has posted on where the insider edition is pretty specific on what a woman's place is, maybe not let her know I know about the article, but I think I can get her to disagree with the points of the study, which if she ever ends up reading it she would either think she is in disagreement with the bible, since the bible and the wt are essentially one and the same, or realize that the gb/wt go beyond the bible.
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  pirata

  when I floated the idea in the past she was in jw mode and said that the secret book was bible based and others are based on the current system. Hoping she gets beyond that soon but who really knows.

  JWs are not very good at compromise (mainly because having an open mind is only for people that are being studied with), f you went with the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", you can suggest she search it in the Watchtower Library to see if it is mentioned there (which it is, in a positive way. The article that mentions it actually uses the information in the book as the basis for the article). Considering this book and seeing that there is nothing scary in it, or that the worldly wisdom in it really wasn't bad, she might be a bit more open to other material. Alternatively, you could suggest that if a book does not violate bible principles, then there is nothing wrong with considering and weighing the information there. If it goes against bible principles, then you can stop reading it.

  Good luck!