a couple questions for everyone here

by deservingone26 61 Replies latest watchtower bible

• 

  Nobleheart

  Most people here (myself included) have shared at some point those same feelings, being left without a sense of direction in life after discarding the WT. I think that it will get better for you.

  1. Love of God and people around me are things that make me excited. Wanting to do good things to those around me. I also recommend you finishing college (i'm doing my graduate studies now and I'm really benefitting for it). Also enjoying many friendships. There are indeed good people outside the org, no matter how badly they were portrayed in JW literature. Obviously you won't be compatible with everyone, but there will be some with similar hopes, values, interests as you.

  2. This board is a therapeutic place to share common experiences as JWs and vent our troubles with family still in, the congr., etc. I used to spend much more time here months ago when I was confirming all my doubts, mostly reading other people's posts. I know that after I formally leave the org, I will visit this board more rarely.

  3. You'll find a mix here. I do believe in God. You asked why? Because I have faith that there's someone who cares about me and you and what we see now is not all there is. Also the love Jesus showed through his entire life and by his death move me to love him back. I actually have been to church and enjoyed it.

  If you feel really confused and in a deadlock situation then do get some professional counseling. I hear that it does help you sort ideas.

  I wish you all the best in your journey! You're lucky you escaped while so young.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  1. A real search for truth drove me for awhile. But it's a process of elimination more than a discovery of real truth, so it's morphed into a journey of exploration of who I am, what I believe, why others believe what they believe. I am a bit of a loner- reading drives me.

  2. I post too much (let's be honest) as a form of self-therapy. If you are ready to walk away from this forum, it's probably a good idea. I stay because I have JW loved ones and would dearly love to free their minds like mine has been. I would probably visit occasionally if my loved ones came out because I have developed great friends here. Friends are important. The ones I have here, while they may be of similar minds when it comes to organized religion, are true friends because they won't leave me if I become a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Atheist, or Buddhist. (Guess which one I did become.)

  3. I hope you guessed before reading this. Yes, I became an atheist. But I don't care if you are a believer. I only post on believer/nonbeliever threads because this is the place to do just that. The more overbearing posters deserve a good argument and I oblige them. In person, I don't bother to argue with good friends over belief. If they want to discuss it, fine- but only in friendly ways.

  Choosing counselors is really a personal thing. My counselor knew next-to-nothing about JW's and cults. I think it's hard to find cult experts, but I found that my problems were not really tailored to just the cult and a cult expert might have been the wrong thing for me. Many counselors are relationship/depression/stress/traumatic experience experts, so I looked for one that seemed to fit my circumstances by reading their webpages. I called a few and started with one that seemed to fit great, so I stayed with the first one. I hear others had to switch a few times to find the right one.
• 

  EntirelyPossible

  1)What drives me? In a word, money. But, not in the shallow greedy sense. Money in that I am saving for my kids college funds, in that I want to take them to NYC, to the Carribean, to experience life, we like to play golf, I like my cigars and scotch, i want to be able to go out to a nice dinner when I feel like it. All of those things take money and, well, I am going to work 60 hours a week I might as well get paid well for it. And I love what I do for work, so that helps.

  2)There are always directionless newbies that need help or have questions. Old age and treachery experience will always help youth and exuberance. For instance, in your point #1 you said most of us seem to be happy, yet in point number #2 you said most of us seem to be complaining about our lives. Good job remembering to call the people you are asking for help complainers. Work on those personal interaction skills. They will take you far in life, my child.

  3)Yes, I am. Because I am a grown up and don't need a made up, silent, invisible friend in the sky.
• 

  Found Sheep

  1 What drives me now? LIFE! I feel so privledged to enjoy life the way God intended us to. I am going back to school, developing friendships, I have a job I love, enjoying a happy marriage and learning and playing as much as I can

  2- Why post here. As great as my 1st answer sounds reality is it is a work in progress. I have BAD days and REALY BAD days. Growing up in the cult, not leaving till I was 32 , left a 13 year bad marriage. I lost all my friends, my community, sence of being and worse of all my Brother and his young family. I learn here and if I think I have something to say or just need to purge I do. I feel if I write something even i it is not that nice, someone here understands.

  3 - I believe in God, not because I feel there is undisputed proof but just because I want to. I feel more spiritual and at peace then ever!
• 

  Terry

  When I was a young teen I was shy and had no social skills, but, had a good imagination and intelligence.

  Becoming a Jehovah's Witness gave my life structure, taught me certain useful social skills like how to meet strangers

  and give public talks. I learned how to study boring information and martial strong arguments into persuasive conclusions.

  I faced challenges in prison and developed self-esteem by thinking my efforts really meant something important.

  I avoided sexually compromising dalliances and married as a virgin. I crossed my T's and dotted my I's.

  THEN MY WORLD BEGAN DYING IN A SLOW SPIRAL INTO A BLACK VOID.

  1.Once I got married my life became a PRACTICAL matter of earning a living, rearing children and providing for my wife and family. The JW religion kept me poor, chauvanistic and authoritarian. I was failing as a man, a husband and a father. We were living in polite poverty.

  2.My thinking, philosophy and worldview was antagonistic, misanthropic and doomed. I had a dark tunnel vision that made me depressed and driven.

  3.I became disillusioned and desperate and finally disfellowshipped.

  THEN MY WORLD BEGAN DAWNING WITH THE LIGHT OF HOPE.

  My life became my own.

  I was in charge.

  I could wallow and bemoan my misery and losses or I could create a life for myself of accomplishment.

  I chose to build a new life.

  In almost every way imaginable I think my life improved as soon as I left the defeatist anti-humanity swamp at the local Kingdom Hall.

  I think I've become a really engaged, loving and helpful father.
  I'm usually upbeat and happy and people who know me even casually not only like me; they seem to love me.

  I know how to GIVE to others now. I don't make demands.

  I became creative and productive and cheerful.

  JWD is a place I come and go to. I touch base here. I offer what I think is "food for thought". My only "mission" is to challenge

  deeply engrained black and white absolutism. If I can motivate anybody to be skeptical and to take a step back and rethink something...I'm satisfied.

  I tire of JWD and leave. I come back. I leave.

  Life goes on.

  I'm a happy man now.
• 

  journey-on

  gone what drives you now? what makes you excited about life?(

  1.

  The driving NEED to KNOW. As a born-in JW, my natural curiosity and desire for knowledge was squelched. Once past the fear of treading into forbidden territory, I couldn't get enough! I went to college, read and studied anything and everything that I felt drawn to.

  Life itself excites me....the whole journey....the hills and valleys (the ups and downs) and the observation of how I and others face it and deal with it. All of it. The good the bad and the ugly of Life.

  2.

  I don't post so much anymore. Like Terry said, after the initial honeymoon with JWN, you tire of it and need to take breaks more and more often. At first you enjoy discussing anything you care to discuss. You feel like you are out of a prison (WTS) and have stepped into the light after years of being in darkness. But there is LIFE outside and trading one prison for another self-imposed prison is counter productive.

  3.

  I am not an atheist (never have been and never will be). I see God differently now than I did as a JW. I don't see Him as a skydaddy watching our every move and keeping score. Some of my early posts describe how I relate to the Divine. My very personal experiences assure me there is a spiritual aspect to Life and a dimension outside the physical. I have grown extremely weary of the atheists on this board that belittle, chastise, and berate those that believe. If they don't understand or experience the connection, then (to them) there is no connection, and they waste a lot of time cutting and pasting well-known athesists that support their "belief". It's like the old adage that once you have seen something, you cannot unsee it. Once you have had a profound irrefutable personal revelation, you cannot go back. It's that simple.

  deservingone26...Life opens doors for you and closes others. You just have to get up and get moving and observe everything each step of the way. Don't let the valleys keep you from seeing the hills just ahead. I firmly believe when you align your free will with the Divine Will, Life will take you where you need to go and teach you what you need to learn.

  Moderation and balance in all things will keep you from becoming addicted to this board. Unfortunately, this board has become the Life of some posters. After the JW experience, you sometimes need a place to go where everybody can relate to you, but don't get caught up in the cyber world. Get out there in the real one! Good luck!!
• 

  Morbidzbaby

  Good series of questions...I'll do my best!

  1. What drives me now... I have a few things. First and foremost, my children. I want to be a person the can be proud of. I want them to see they don't have to fit into someone's mold of who they should be. I want them to be independent, thriving, and happy. I work to achieve that. Secondly, my wonderful man. Yes, he knows he comes second lol. But he is my perfect match in every way. Just opposite enough to keep things interesting, but similar enough to have a lot in common...I strive to be his rock, as he is mine. Lastly, my job. I enjoy it, and actually wish I worked MORE (I will be, once I move).

  2. I don't consider myself an "avid" poster. I post when a topic interests me or when I see someone who is going through something similar to what I did needs a kind word or I feel maybe sharing some of my situation might help them to feel they are not alone. I most definitely have a life outside of the internet lol. A side note about Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the Watchtower Study: This is VERY HELPFUL to a lot of people. It shows the mind control tactics, the mental gymnastics, the bait & switch, the strawman arguments, and the general BS that the Society prints. If someone is at a meeting on a Sunday and happens on this site the day before or after, and the current Watchtower is being discussed, I can't help but think it would plant some seeds in their mind after reading Blondie's hard work. It's in an effort to help others, members, lurkers, or otherwise.

  3. I refer to myself as an Agnostic Atheist. I cannot prove there isn't a power that created us. If there is, I don't believe it is intelligent, all-knowing, or even remotely interested in humankind. But, I'm leaning toward "No", unless otherwise proven. I do believe in the power of focused meditation (some will call it prayer, but I don't), I do believe in an "afterlife" of sorts, but I believe it will be scientifically explained at some point. As to WHY I question the existence of a creator and am leaning toward no? Because I haven't been given ANY proof to the contrary. The Bible is not proof, imo. A fiction novel can claim it is fact, but that doesn't make it so. The Bible claims itself is inspired...I'd ask it the same question I'd ask anyone... "Why should I believe YOU?"
• 

  tec

  1. I have children and a husband who drive me. I have faith in Christ, and that drives me. I read, I also write... I think I'm a pretty quiet person and lead a pretty quiet life, but that is what I like. I love to learn new things (scientific things, experiences such as learning to belay with my son for indoor rock climbing, new personal discoveries in my faith also). Learning keeps me from being stagnant. Keeps my mind active, and gives me excitement and zeal for life.

  2. I post on here so much because I like it here. I'm not recovering from Jw's anymore. I'm not complaining about what they've done to me; I don't think I ever have, except perhaps one or two sentences. I've made friends and connections with people here, and I enjoy the support of others who share my faith as well.

  3. I have faith in Christ and God. I did before the witnesses, and I do still now. I always have. My faith is stronger now than ever before, for putting it in Christ. I do not go anywhere to worship. I am not a part of a church or group or organization or denomination. I simply follow Christ, because I love Him, and believe in the things He taught and showed us. I love God because I see God through Christ... not through other men.

  If you are young, then I think it is normal for you to not know what you want to do or where you want to go... there are so many options for you, and its all right to make mistakes as well. I do think counseling can help give you some focus though. Even help phone lines have people that can get you started in the right direction. But don't panic. You don't have to know everything right now, or even ever. Just get to know yourself. Counselors and the like can help you learn how to do that.

  Tammy
• 

  satinka

  Counselling is a good idea. You will likely not survive leaving the JWs without much counselling. Many ex-members do not survive the shunning without support.

  My experience is that when a person leaves the JWs, the religion insists its members shun ex-members. Shunning is a cruel form of punishment that is meant to demoralize, punish and force the ex-member to come back to something they no longer wish to be a part of. Sometimes ex-members go back just because they cannot bear to lose their family. The cruel practice of shunning is a hurtful and hateful form of punishment.

  This forum is a place to heal from the shunning practice and find new friends. This forum is a life-saver. Many shunned members have committed suicide because of the alienation. Shunning is an inhumane practice completely unnatural for social humans. Yet, the way JW elders explain it to mean "love" will never help members in good standing to understand the other side of the coin---what it is really like for ex-members.

  Jehovah's Witnesses don't want their members to know how cruel their shunning practice feels. They don't want us to recover from leaving the organization. The elders do not understand that we don't wish to be "forced" back to a philosophy that does not serve our interests. Publicly, the WT society denies that shunning is an on-going practice. This forum proves otherwise.

  So, thanks for asking.

  satinka
• 

  Mat

  1- I'm now at University and my drive at the moment is to do my assignments, and afterwards to get a good job from my education. Yea- finding love is also a drive. The thing is that really we shouldn't need a religion to give us a (false) reason to live. I enjoy films and going out for a drink, but these are not things I live for. They are fun to do.

  2- I don't think I post here much, but it is easy to just take a look at what is topical and maybe comment if the whim takes you. Usually between work. Most people have internet on contract so it's just a case of getting your money's worth using it. It is a community of sorts.

  3-I am decidedly an atheist. This is not a decision I came to easily. I decided it after reading many books on the issue of religion, the bible, science and spirituality- among other subjects (I could give more detailed reasons but it would go on and is worth several threads)- besides reflecting on my own experience. Even now I find myself calling on God when I feel stressed or worried- but I stop myself. He never answered me when I did worship him.

  4- Counselling? I sometimes think I should have had that, so if you feel you should it is probably a good idea. I read some cheesy self help books, some good, some bad. I took them all with a pinch of salt, but I think I got some focus from reading them.

  If you want to know which books and more detailed reasons you can PM me.