Wanted to get reinstated... Almost ready to give up (page 7)

Mad Sweeney

You were given pages and pages of advice in your first thread three months ago. We're several pages in to another thread full of great advice now. My questions today are:

What advice have you already taken? What advice have you rejected? What advice do you plan to take and when?

No offense to you specifically but people come here a lot asking for help and then don't do any of the things people with experience tell them they need to do to get healthy. Then they're here months later with the exact same issues they had at first, only in worse shape emotionally. It can get frustrating trying to help people when they don't do the things necessary to get healthy and recover from the abuse dished out by the organization, its appointed representatives, and its culture of judgment.

headisspinning

To Mad Sweeney...

As I'm sure you know, this is quite a process we are going through. I am very interested in hearing other peoples experiences, thoughts, opinions and suggestions. Then I need time to process it and try to figure out where I stand.

Another member suggested reading some books - Escape, Stolen Innocence, Not My Idea of Heaven - and I got the books and am in the process of reading them. There are some startling comparisons and it has been very enlightening.

I wouldn't say I specifically came on this site asking for help... I am more interested in exploring things from another perspective and just getting opinions on what has taken place. As I'm sure you will agree, telling someone what they should do is not generally very successful. Whereas just sharing your own experiences and explaining what worked for you can be more productive and helpful. I guess what I mean is nobody can tell someone what they should do because nobody but the person in the circumstances can fully understand where the person is at and what is right for them.

So in answer to your questions I would say I am taking everyone's advice under consideration and I'm taking time to weigh it all out and figure out what's right for me.

Nickolas

It's analogous to attaining escape velocity, headisspinning. If a rocket blasts off from the pad with a huge release of power but fails to attain about 25,000 mph, its speed will begin to slow, it will stall, and it will fall back to earth. The same is happening to you.

aquagirl

If you really believe that the Jehovahs Witnesses are the real deal than you should not be on this website.If they find out,it will delay or postpone and reentering the cult..By the way,why do you want to get back in a sinking ship?

diamondiiz

If you research history and action of wts you should come to your conclusions. Experiences of other people are not that of your own and shouldn't really help you in making up your mind as to deciding whether wts is a true org or not. I didn't have a bad experience in wts and left due to the facts that I've learned from researching wts using wts publications and reasoning on their arguments.

If you go on wts sites, you will hear all the wonderful experiences that have happened to these people while being jws, here you will hear the opposite. The experiences don't mean much when you are under the influence of a dogma which is what you have to research on your own and only then you and you alone can decide if the doctrine you've been taught is true or it's been fabricated to suit the masters.

Without doing thorough research you will never know what to believe and you will be easily swayed to feel guilt, and fear based on your upbringing. You haven't said if your husband knows you come on this site or if you shared any information you're read here with him or whether he has any doubts about wts.

headisspinning

To Aquagirl....

I'm not worried about being found out.

I have always believed that Jehovah's Witnesses have the truth or are the 'real deal' as you put it. But how we have been treated feels very unloving. As I've said before, I came on this site innocently enough. I was trying to find someone who had experience dealing with a case like ours who might have some ideas for moving forward towards reinstatement. But the longer things are left the more discouraged we have grown. Then on top of it, some of the things I've been reading have clicked and honestly, neither me or my husband know what to think or even how to feel anymore.

I'm sorry if my hesitance to jump ship is frustrating to some of you but I need to do things at my own pace and in my own time.

headisspinning

To DiamondLiz

Yeah, my husband knows I come on this site. He is also a 'lurker' and he is really astounded by what he has been reading. When you're an active JW you tend to swallow things 'hook, line and sinker' and just go with the flow. We have talked a lot and thinking back we both admitted having pangs of doubt not too long before the sh*t hit the fan...

For me, I could not get my head around the whole blood fractions thing. To me, we either abstain from blood or we don't. Expecting regular people to do all this extra research and study to become experts on medical procedures seemed very odd to me. I've always known our beliefs to be straightforward and simple (besides the dates)... and that was the first time I EVER felt things were a little off.

For my husband, he said the whole generation thing did not sit well with him even back when he was an elder. Recently, we looked at a chart on one of the other sites that breaks down how many times the understanding has changed. I was shocked because I didn't even realize it had changed over time - and that many times? That is really troubling.

So we are doing research and reading lots of information. We recently watched the program on Fifth Estate about the child abuse scandals as well. We would never have dared to watch that before. It was all very upsetting and disturbing. We also recently read Barbara Anderson's story and also the story of Frank Kavelin.

We are working through everything and just trying to figure out where we stand... this is a very emotional time for both of us.

Nickolas

You're afraid because you have always believed that Jehovah's Witnesses have the truth or are the 'real deal'. They don't and they're not, and the evidence is overwhelming if you will only consider it. You believe it because you are afraid, and you are afraid because you have been told that believing otherwise means your death, that even questioning what you are told to believe means your death. I feel for you. My wife is the same, except that she has not made progress as you have. Be brave. Free yourselves.

headisspinning

To Nickolas...

Yes. Definitely. I am afraid. Who wouldn't be? I have had it drilled into my head that this is the Truth. That turning against the organization is tantamount to turning against Jehovah. That is scary stuff. Even if I can get my head around it logically, there is still this horrible sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Honestly, it would be easier for me to accept that I am just a bad and wicked person than to accept that this is not the Truth. I would rather judge myself as worthless and deserving of death, than to face the evidence... but somehow I know I have to do it.

I know watching someone go through this process must be aggravating ... but this is just really, really hard and quite terrifying to be honest. I guess many of you know that.

Nickolas

I guess many of you know that.

Yup.

Free yourself.

Wanted to get reinstated... Almost ready to give up

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