Not dated in a while - could use some tips, advice lol

by callitquits76 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • callitquits76
    callitquits76

    Hi everyone,

    I guess the title says it all, but i'll expand.

    Recently met this beautiful girl who through another party expressed her interest in me which was quite flattering to be honest. Im a 27 year old guy and truth is that I have really struggled with this kind of stuff since leaving the dubs a few years back now. I guess I still have their theories floating around in my head, you know, all the old rubbish about dating some of which goes back to that Youth book.

    We spoke today for the first time properly and I think it's game on. The only problem is, I still battle with WT demons in my head. This girl reminds me of one of these deadly spiders who traps her kill. Not the most flattering description ever given to a lady but I guess I am trying to say she made sure I stood up and took notice of her, which I have, and this is where the WT demons come through. Dating in the JW world means no sex until marriage, but dating in the real world obviously does not.

    Does anybody have any advice that could help me, I would really appreciate some support here. I'll ask her out no problem, but the really dumb question I am getting to is, how do these things work? It pains me to ask, i'd be laughed at anyplace else but I guess if anyone understands, its the ex dubs. Part of me is on cloud nine but part of me is anxious as fuck.

    Thanks for reading, i'd appreciate any suggestions, comments and even ridicule. But less of the latter please, i'm a tempremental fellow.

  • d
    d

    Hey Callitquits76.Do not worry, just tell how you feel.I can relate, I can not really confront the opposite sex really well either.But give it some time.

  • Este
    Este

    I still refer to women that do not believe in GOD as "worldly". There is a huge difference between a female that believes in GOD to one that does not. For one, worldly females have their own views about dating and tend to do as they please, even as far as being with another female. They lie, they cheat, they are out after what you have to offer them materially. As for a "spiritual" female there still exists worldly desires, however, they make it a point to adhere to a set of rules based upon their belief in GOD. You have a better chance with a "spiritual" female than a "worldly" one for a lasting relationship. I relay this to you based upon my own experiences. Also drugs, drinking, smoking, and all of the habits of this world come attached to worldly females. Are you willing to put up with a drunk, or drug addict? Many many problems for the people of the world, you are better off listening to GOD and remaining with a female with the love for GOD.......

    Estephan


    Oh good lord. Please disregard anything the nut above says. Me thinks he's still in love with the sound of his own voice and how great he thinks his aging body looks.

    My advice is to take it slow. Concentrate on getting to know this girl. Have fun. It you're not ready for sex and think the third date is too soon, tell her. I once dated a guy who was coming off of being celibate for 18 months abd he asked that we wait for three months. I was fine with that, at least he told me why.

    Just take it slow, get to know the girl, and have fun.

    Pay no attention to the women behind the curtain she is just blowing steam lol.....

    Go ahead and date a worldy female and see if what I say is not true......vicious women hidden behind a mask is a worldly female.

    (my body is in better shape than yours Mrs Jones, I guarantee it )

    E.


    I can't say that I have much practical experience when it comes to dating but I know one thing; lying and pretentiousness will lead to disaster in the end. Be the best YOU that you can be. Don't pretend to be what you're not. And of course, take your time to get to know the girl: don't be in a rush.

    I'm too new here to have any clue what this Estephan douchebag has been up to before, but common sense will tell you that he's right crazy. He's a freaking nutter. Don't listen to a damn thing he says. UGH!

    V665V665

    Haters.........umhmmm

    Estephan


    Este,

    I agree with the point you are making. A woman with a "Spiritual Christian Foundation" is less likely to have problems because of her Christian "roots". Not all women (or men), but I would agree that most will have less problems as compared to those who have no Christian upbringing or are not currently rooted in some Christian life. When a person has made their foundation through a life of at least "trying" to adhere to Christlike principles, I think the outcome will be much better the majority of the time.

    I have had the experience with worldly females, and have even photographed them. There is nothing more attractive to me then a clean, well groomed. well mannered, and humble female. So unlike the flaunty "look at me" type of female that is so prevalent in this world today. It is true of today where the scripture says that people will be lovers of themselves. I have become wise to the ways of a worldly female and will not cave into their wicked ways. A strong wise man will guard his heart from the cunningness of a women that attracts with desires of the flesh, especially those that are attractive in appearance. A kind man will attract those like minded, so a good man will find a good women.

    Estephan

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Oh good lord. Please disregard anything the nut above says. Me thinks he's still in love with the sound of his own voice and how great he thinks his aging body looks.

    My advice is to take it slow. Concentrate on getting to know this girl. Have fun. It you're not ready for sex and think the third date is too soon, tell her. I once dated a guy who was coming off of being celibate for 18 months abd he asked that we wait for three months. I was fine with that, at least he told me why.

    Just take it slow, get to know the girl, and have fun.

  • VampireDCLXV
    VampireDCLXV

    I can't say that I have much practical experience when it comes to dating but I know one thing; lying and pretentiousness will lead to disaster in the end. Be the best YOU that you can be. Don't pretend to be what you're not. And of course, take your time to get to know the girl: don't be in a rush.

    I'm too new here to have any clue what this Estephan douchebag has been up to before, but common sense will tell you that he's right crazy. He's a freaking nutter. Don't listen to a damn thing he says. UGH!

    V665V665

  • doofdaddy
    doofdaddy

    Just relax. Don't read too much into it, or too far into the what if's. It's just a date. You may not like each other and all this angst is just a waste of energy. Go for it and have fun!

  • Sam Whiskey
    Sam Whiskey

    Este,

    I agree with the point you are making. A woman with a "Spiritual Christian Foundation" is less likely to have problems because of her Christian "roots". Not all women (or men), but I would agree that most will have less problems as compared to those who have no Christian upbringing or are not currently rooted in some Christian life. When a person has made their foundation through a life of at least "trying" to adhere to Christlike principles, I think the outcome will be much better the majority of the time.

  • finallyfree!
    finallyfree!

    first off...stop highjackin the poor guys post!!

    now as for chix and dating, dont think they are all the innocent girly types. they are after one thing when its at this stage...sex...same as us guys!! yep they will do exactly what you want em to if you know what to look for and are able to read between the lines.

    girls like: a confident guy but not too much as that can pass for bein cocky. a funny guy. slip in a few lines in the evening. make her laugh. dont try too hard though. chix luv outgoing guys too, put on natures makeup and smile! it melts em. and make sure when you talk to em to look em in the eyes, you can know exactly what shes thinkin.

    the best thing to do for a first date in my books is just go for a coffee or a beer/drink. chitchat get to know her a bit. if all is well and you both hit it off, then ask her if shes hungry. grab a bite, go to the park and swing, take her for a walk. oh and they dont say it outright but woman love it when you notice them. tell her her hair is nice or her nails or whatever you see she has taken the time to accentuate. be a gentleman and pay for dinner if you wanna score a few points, although 50/50 these days is perfectly normal, maybe grab the wine tab. when you talk to her make sure to dwell on her. youll notice she will dwell on you too so youll both have all kinds of time to get to know each other. if you have a differing opinion, dont agree with her just because shes a girl, argue a bit! chix love debating and get turned on by a guy who is comfy in his own pants and sticks up for what he believes in.

    most important is have fun!! dont push anything. let her work for you and not the other way around!! im telling you that girls go crazy when they see something they cant have. and theyre so used to getting whatever guy they want that it totally mindfux them when you arent the typical ill fuck ya the first night kinda guy, although if that happens its good too, cuz we all need to get laid right..? be urself, dont get shitfaced and make sure if ya take her home that you cover up before ya hit da sack!(make sure to mow the lawn before if ya follow ;) oh and make sure ya know what to do with her!! its when you nail a "worldly" chick that you discover what you dont know about sex. lol!

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    I grew up in the world so here it go

    get to know the person first, to see if your compatable, do fun and wholesome things

    this is what is needed to build a good relationship. Don't be forced into anything you are

    not ready for, if she tries to make you feel bad for needing to take it slow dump her ass

    cause it should serve as a warning to you that she could be tryin' to give it up, to give away

    somethin', that a shot in the hip can't get rid of, you don't want nothin' that you

    have to carry around like lugauge for the rest of you life. So take it slow and enjoy

    and when your ready to go futher don't buy rubbers out of a vending machine, they could be expired

    like a WatchTower mag, go to the drug store and get fresh ones.

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    Sorry if I killed your thread callitquits,

    I know you could have used some more valuable advice

    there's a lot of good advice on this board from other posters

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