Been listening for quite a while to the many conversations found here on this forum. I'm a good listener as my friends will tell you.
I am a born in JW, inactive for at least 2 years now. I originally joined this forum to find out what my husband was "up to". He was very angry and hurt with organization and put me and our family through a lot of heartache. However, I now think it was one of the things that aided him on his journey and his growth to the man he is now. Many of you became his good friend. Even tho' he is not active on the board these days I'm sure he has not been forgotten. I still have a need for some anonimity so I don't want to say who he is just yet.
It's taken me longer to get to the point of posting because my experience has not been catastrophic or terrible for most of my life as a JW. I would have said I had a very good life. Perhaps as I've come to learn, I had very good parents. Particularly my father. He was a very intelligent man, validictorian of his High School but never went to college. (My nephew was also validictorian of HIS class and did go to college) He passed on a love of reading and learning. We read everything- the Bible was exciting when he read aloud. So was Winnie the Pooh, Wind in the Willows, and the Hobbit. I read all the OZ books, Narnia and Lord of the Rings. I had no idea ever that I shouldn't read certain things. At the same time I tried to study for the meetings. I always answered and did well in my assignments. I enjoyed the "deep" studies more than anything else. I liked having a reputation for giving comments that weren't just reading out of the paragraph.
For me, the problems began after I got married because my husband and I had some really serious problems. I was very naive and always thought the Kingdom Hall and being a good Witness was a protection. I had no exposure to domestic violence. I admit I was kind of a "princess". I thought if I asked for help it would get fixed. Hmmm. I was told to go home and be a better wife. I tried but eventually I decided that I needed more help and ended up going to the "worldly authorities" which didn't go over well but got the results we needed. Over the years we have truly grown together thru some really rough times. I wouldn't trade him for the world.
I'm not a black/white, cut and dried, judgemental person. My "worldly" best friend says I am the most free thinking liberal witness she's ever known. I don't know about that- I just think if I let you think what you want, you should let me think what I want without trying to change me. I'm open for discussion- but no coersion. What's fair for you is fair for me. Live and let live. Come to find out- if I really said all the things I think and believe at the Kingdom Hall I might not be accepted as kindly, but I'd been one who just minds her own business and doesn't yak a lot. Perhaps a bit oblivious. That's gotten harder as time goes on. Things really started to bother me a few years ago with "rules" (like the study article on Weddings- really?) and emphasis on the Governing Body to the point of being uneasy as to what life in the New System was really going to like with the brothers in charge. I noticed being passed over for comments and wondered why. Maybe I should just stick with the paragraph? Not very challenging.
Anyway, this first post could get overlong if I don't stop now. I have a bunch of questions that I'm curious about and haven't turned up just by poking around and reading. I'll get to them. This is just "hello".