by bloominglotus 108 Replies latest social family
A natural product that helps w depression is st john's wort. I took it for a while.
What tends to cause depression is thinking other than the here and now. So, thinking about the past, the future, about places far away, or about how things could have been tends to make a person unhappy. Using mental discipline to keep the mind/thoughts on this day, this minute at this place can help.
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Robdar well to be honest the advice I have received here has been very helpful! Of course some advice was not needed but for the most part everyone's input has given me something to self reflect about. A person that has been "trained" does not always give good advice as well. Thats where it takes for me to weed out the advice thats not beneficial and taking in what could be of advantage(just like what I did on this forum). Its was comforting to hear experiences from people who have dealt w/ something similar as oppose to just relying on the advice of someone who may have not first hand experience. Just because a person is trained in that particular field I would still use discernment as to whether I want to accept the given advice.The whole bi-polar thing was a figure of speech and I do plan on talking to someone about my anger issues. I can think of a whole bunch of other conditions my mood swings could be tied to esp conditions relating to women....
BTW I noticed u said u were FIRST attracted to your husband because of his brilliant mind and not his looks. Unless u are blind I dont see how the FIRST thing that attracted u to ur husband was his mind...Or of course u met him over the phone? Like I said there's nothing wrong with that.... Other than that we are visual creatures...u have to first be attracted to them and then get to know their personality... At first what u notice is a person's looks,if they are attractive,hygienic, their style,etc. If an attractive person has a nasty personality well that just makes them plain ol ugly. If their personality is great that just boosts their attractiveness
We would love to say that personality comes before looks aswhat attracts us to a person but its really not true at all. But if u really think about it, when u get older and your looks are not the same as u were when u were younger personality pretty much comes before looks...
Well blooming I have never been married spent 28 years in the borg expecting the "END" anytime but from the experiences of my family and friends this seems to be the norm. Everyone of my sisters (3) and brothers (2) have or are going thru the same thing. One sister told me, "I don't know who this man I married is" and they have been married 23 years. It seems like (as others have mentioned) the bloom of the initial attraction wears off and there is nothing left.
Satanus Yes I've been reading about St. John's Wort and how effective it is for depression. Do u take it capsule form,extract,tea? Also I wholeheartedly agree with u about not focusing so much on the past( which is a problem I have) or how things could have been. Im really starting to see how it makes me very much depressed and unhappy. It really does take mental discipline to focus on the now. I've been reading about meditation and its benefits for our minds. I'm pretty sure it helps in mental discipline. Neuroscientists have actually found that meditators shift their brain activity to different areas of the cortex. Brain waves in the stress prone part of the brain move to the calmer part of the cortex The mental shift decreases negative effects of stress, depression or anxiety. Their is also less activity in the part of the brain that processes fear. I thought that was pretty interesting... Thanks for your advice
zerotoday yea it does seem like this is a stage in a marriage but I really dont want to give up in my marriage. Just based on a lot ya'lls advice, its really gonna take for ME to be the change I want to see. Change my perspective on things. Not focus on past. Resolve anger issues. To not be a provocator and exacerbating the problem. Before I can help others I really need to help myself....
I took it in pill form, for a while.
In meditation, a person can learn to detach from thoughts. Thought and thinking is much overrated. Contentment is in NOT thinking. Like you say, it's not easy to do. Even a success of a few seconds can help. It's like a reset button for the brain, back to default condition. When you are thinking negative thoughts, ask yourself, WHO is thinking these thoughts. Then, earnestly try to sense who that is. Likely, the exercise will get you to take a step back towards detachment from those thoughts.
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And I appreciate everyone being a listening ear to my rant At that point I really wanted to let out some steam and I really was trying my best to NOT direct it towards my husband. I dont have any friends dont really have a social life accept online and with family...so yeah
St John's Wort can mess with your birth control so watch that or ya'll have something else to be depressed about ;)
Yes meditation is definitely hard. Its like emptying your mind. I tried it and it was a complete fail couldnt even do it for a minute. I would find my mind wandering into other thoughts. Seems like its gonna take practice.... Do u meditate Satanus?
LOL at Kudra! Yeah I probably wouldnt be depressed if that was to happen probably a lil shocked. Besides the birth control I use is not going to interfere with that at all. So I am thankful for that. But thanks for the heads up....
