"Have you ever been in love?" (page 4)

elderelite

freeze... if you dont pick up the phone, right now, and read her EXACTLY what you wrote at the end of your post above, you will hate yourself for the rest of your life. Call. now. calm, confident. And even if she isnt on board right away, let it sit for a few days... she clearly likes you on some level and I bet will be willing to explore a romantic relationship. ZBut that shit aint gonna meterilize out of thin air. You gotta make the move. make it.

mamalove

Mr. Freeze, I am with EE, don't let her first reaction get you down. Just keep being a friend. DO NOT BE CLINGY, women hate that. Just be kind, and act like you care, but not too much....oh its all a balancing act.

Tell the truth, do you feel any chemistry? Do you feel like she has any feelings for you? Does she smile, make really good eye contact?

Perhaps in time she will feel something more for you. Right now she might be reeling from her break-up.

Don't give up, but don't overwhelm her. I look forward to more news!

MrFreeze

I don't know, she already made it pretty clear she does not have those kinds of feelings for me. It certainly is something to consider. There are several issues I'm dealing with though. First off, she doesn't live in the same city as me anymore. Several months ago she moved almost halfway accross the country with her boyfriend. She doesn't know if she's going to move back to where her home city, which is where I am now.

Then there's the whole friendship thing. If I pursue this it could very well damage the friendship. That's the last thing I want to happen because she has been my best friend over the last year. She even said as much that if we wanted to remain close friends I couldn't let those feelings affect it.

She knew her current relationship was going south so she started getting involved with some other guy. Turns out, that probably isn't going to work out. She seems to be going through a tough time right now and I'm trying to be supportive.

For me the problem I notice is that I make a good friend apparently but not a good romantic partner. That must be it because it seems to be the same with most women I've tried to have a relationship with.

mamalove

well those details do put a different spin on things.

But just like Coco stated, it is something you can't help when it hits you, like a bite that spreads all over. Hang in there. You will find your partner.

Satanus

Mr freeze

The friends category is what women put you in, when you have failed at the boyfriend level. You can break out of that, but you have to change whatever strategy you have been using, or whatever you have been doing. You need to educate yourself a little more on this. Do some reading about pick up artists. Google pua. While it sounds crass, the stuff works. It's all based on animal type reactions that we all have, we cannot help.

S

trevor

nolongerwaiting That was beautiful.

Lion Cask

The last time I wasn't in love was 40 years ago when I fell in love for the first, and last, time. I'm still in love. Ups and downs? Of course. Regrets? Sure. Compromises? Plenty. But would I undo it if I could? Not a chance.

Mary

It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you.

I hear ya CoCo. Why do you think I'm not married? After what I've been through in the 'love' department, I would be terrified beyond words to ever let my guard down again. It might be lonely at times being single, but I'd rather be lonely than to live with having my heart ripped out again. At least you can function when you're lonely.

streets76

Many, many times. It's a malady of youth, mostly. It's a chemical reaction in the brain. Those chemicals are most active when you are young (part of my "evolution explains everthing" theory, old foks have no need for chemical love).

And god it feels so good! You never feel so alive as the first time you fall in love and/or have your little heart broken.

Whenever I hear "Hello, It's Me," I just have to take a moment. It takes be back to my first high school romance/broken heart. I can feel the residuals of those chemicals.

Great Zevon clip, by the way.

compound complex

I "love" all your comments, dear friends, but I should point out - Mamalove and Mary - that the opening quotation is that of a Mr. Gaiman [forgot his first name]. I was researching heart/love, of all things, and came across his declaration of what love's all about - and not.

I could wish that they were my words. Some of my "love's laments" are soon to be published, but, like a heart that languishes, so, too, my languishing coffers, ne'er to be filled through the sale of a poor poet's paltry verse.

Love to all,

CoCo

"Have you ever been in love?"

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