Trying to Deal with MY Parental Guilt

by Lady Lee 60 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Well I am feeling a lot better this morning so thank you all.

    I guess the best we can be is the good-enough parent and not the perfect one

  • dgp

    And there is no question that you are more than good enough.

  • mouthy

    I know just how you were feeling. My grand daughter wont speak to me at all-though she dont go.
    My JW daughter did answer me the other day when I called to tell her... her sister

    was to have an operation. I feel guilty also.I ruined Mells life ( until she saw the real truth then died)
    My son -who I was always trying to entrap in the religion,DID know I left ( he then died) but I had
    been on to him for years about the "lie"So many wasted years. Then there were other's
    I entrapped in the family,they died...Guilt is the most destructive force in the world I believe
    Yes I still have it.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Grace, like me you were doing the best you could in a very bad situation. We both need to focus on the good things. You do have family who are out and free and who do have close ties to you. We need to be thankful for those good things.

  • mouthy

    Yes I guess your right

  • FlyingHighNow

    Grace and Lee, try to think about the many joys and blessings your children, grandchildren and students have had. None of them got up everyday to complete torture and horror. Try to think of the things they enjoy or enjoyed.

  • FlyingHighNow

    Lee, I am so glad you feel better today. I always think of you as such a picture of strength. It's comforting to know that any of us human beings can have fragile moments when the tears of regret seem to overwhelm us. It gives us all a kindred connection. And it makes me understand maybe why we Anglicans hold hands with each other while we recite the Lord's Prayer. We are all kindred.

  • mouthy

    Trying >>>flyinghigh...But Mell did get up every day & had to go out in service on Sat
    got to go to the KH Tue,thurs,,had to walk out of the class room during the prayer & etc.
    Had to wear long skirts during mini skirt time, ( got laughed at,) couldnt go out with anyone
    that was not a JW. Had to watch her Dad beat me,over the "TRUTH"" Cried often because kids
    were making fun of her.But I told her Jehovah was so proud of her.She had to walk alot on service
    because the "LOVING" brothers would take us in "outside" territories & leave us there,Why? because
    being MOUTHY!!!! I got into house & started dishing out the "rotton Bread" ( lies) They had to go
    home ...So we were left... But hey! we made new" Bible Studies"( or WT studies.
    She only got free when I insisted we went to England to make my Parents enter bondage
    (They didnt thank GOD) that she met the boy next door to them, he asked her if she could
    drive( she could) so asked her to go with him so he could use his L plate( learners) & she did
    so she could entrap HIM!!!!!! Didnt happen .He got her out!!!! although she truly thought
    she would die at the big A,but he was worth it. I nicely invited him to Canada if he was ever able
    to make it. ( Believing he never would) he was only 19. Two weeks later HE DID!!!! & convinced
    her to go to England for a years work. She did living with my MUM!!!! End of story! she married him
    After getting cancer ,had very stron radiation. at 19. was supposedly cured,had three kids, Radiation
    induced cancer returned ,she died when the kids were 12 & 14( twins in there) AM I GUILTY?????YES!!!!!!!

    Sorry to tell my story!!!!


  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    But Grace she was free before she died. Be thankful for that part of it.

    We can all wallow in the mistakes we made even when we thought they were the right thing to do. Eventually she got out just like Sue is out.

    Well one is still in. She might decide to leave one day or she might not. But she is an adult now and she has to make her own chouces.

    And you are no longer responsible for her choices Grace

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    FHN Yes we all get out bad moments. Once I can verbalize what is going on it doesn't take me long to process it and move on. It used to take weeks to get through these things. Now I am down to hours so there is a ton of progress.

    I hate to think we are damaged for life. We are stonger in the broken places. We just need to adjust our perspective sometimes.

    So thanks to all who helped me adjust my perspective last night

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