My mom throws a not so subtle threat my way

by JWinprotest 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • only me
    only me

    Grandparents most certainly have rights. In NY State grandparents have standing with the court if there has been on going relationship with the grandchildren the and if they pursue their rights then they might well get visitation. I don't think it would be hard to make sure it is supervised visitation, with the parents or other neutral party supervising.

    My son has been in a four year family court battle and my husband and I had to petition the court to get visitation with our grandsons. So far , we have been granted 2 hours every other week supervised . It is an expensive nightmare. Soon we will be getting unsupervised day visits but our ex daughter in law has fought every inch. She has no problem lying under oath to get her way. Religion has nothing to do with our case though.

    Much trouble can be saved by offering some small access, 4 or 5 short day visits a year, possibly in your home, would satisfy the court. I don't think they would give much credence to the shunning but would see it as not being reasonable or cooperative.

    I definitely think you should always be present when your parents are with the children, it will stop many problems before they start and you would have a record for the court that they only had supervised visits.

    You would have to check with the judicial system where you live for details.

  • Snoozy

    Thanks for the back-up info..I was also thinking that if the parents are JW's that should be in your favor when going to court..


  • Black Sheep
  • blondie

    Even if someone is a lawyer on this board, are they familiar with the laws in your country, province, state, etc?

    Why not use Google to see what the laws in general are in your area and contact lawyers, family groups, etc., that deal in that perhaps without charge?

    Also, I have said on this board that never, never, never let any jw be alone with your child...they will fill their heads up with the jw beliefs despite any statement on your part not to do so, they will feel it is their right to turn them away from you.

  • Mary

    Not sure what the laws are in the States but in Canada, grandparents do have 'Visitation Rights' to see their grandchildren. However, it is based on what's best for the grandchildren, not necessarily for the parents or grandparents as per the article below. In cases like yours though, if you think your mother would try to brainwash your kids against you for not being a Witness, or if she tried preaching to them and sucking them into the cult, then you could definitely use that against her in a court of law. Few Witnesses are willing to have their whacked-out beliefs publically exposed like that, as they know full well how bad it looks for them.

    "As early as 1980, Canadian provinces also enacted grandparent access laws based on the best interests of the child (R.S.B.C. 1996 C. 128, s. 24; R.S.B.C. 1996 C. 128, s. 35; R.S.A. 1980, c. P-20, s. 32.1). Factors to be considered when determining if grandparent visitation or access serves the child's best interests involve examining both the wishes and views of the child and the grandparent-grandchild relationship. Other factors to be considered include the child's mental and physical health, the education and training needs of the child, and the ability of the grandparents (or adults seeking access) to adequately care for the child. In Canada, grandparent visitation rights tend to focus more on the child's needs than parental rights. For example, in the case of Sparks v. Sparks (2001), the court reasoned "in no case may the father or mother, without grave reasons interfere with personal relations between the child and his grandparents" (p. 6). Despite the statutory and judicial efforts to provide grandparents' access to their grandchildren, Edward Kruk (1995) found that parental divorce, conflictual grandparent-parent relations, and step-parent adoption after remarriage continue to inhibit this access."

    Read more: Grandparents' Rights - Grandparent Visitation Rights In Canada - Child, Access, Sparks, Considered, Factors, and Parental

  • WingCommander

    Hahahaha!! Typical un-educated dumbass JW response. I would have set her straight, and told her there are no laws in place to "force" parents to allow grandparents visistation - NONE!!!

    It really does go to show, "who the f*ck do these people think they are?" - That's right, they think they are morally superior and above the law. What idiocy!!

    - Wing Commander

  • TheLoveDoctor

    My question is if we complain that Jw when disfellowshiped are prevented from seening and speaking to family. then why would u who's fadeing prevent your mom from seeing her grandchildren? That just makes most the compaints here invalid and wrong

  • WingCommander

    ^^ TheLoveDoctor:

    There's one helluva differance between using fear & guilt as control tactics to force your family to go against their own free will, and NOT allowing JW grandparents to indoctrinate your children with a religion you don't even want them exposed to. Grow a f*cking brain; there is no is force-fed bullshit, the other is protecting your children from a destructive, mind-controlling cult, cause that's all the JW grandparents care about - talking about you negatively behind your back to your kids and indoctrinating them with images from the Life Forever and Revelation books. Disgusting!!!!

    - Wing Commander

  • Yan Bibiyan
    Yan Bibiyan

    Hmmm..go to court? That tends to be expensive, as "only me" pointed above.

    They have that kind of cash to throw around? For self-serving purposes? Wouldn't that cash be way more helpful if contributed to the Worldwide Preaching Work?

    Hey, ma, how about you don't shun me, I don't keep the kids away from you? Deal?

    They can dish it, but they can't take it

  • JWinprotest

    Thanks to all for your replies and advice. At this point, it's purely speculation on my part and I might be reading too much into it (I don't think so!).

    Of course, I would never stop my children from seeing my mom to punish her, my kids love her to death, and I would never intentionally take that away from them. Where I will put my foot down, is if my mom decides she wants to see the kids, but won't allow me in the home. I feel the same way Blondie does, my mom will never stop trying to lure my girls to become JW's. We're already seeing the effects. My wife and I have had to cut back considerably on the time our kids spend alone with grandma. On 2 separate occasions, shortly after spending the night with my mom, my 6 year old would just spontanously start crying in bed. When we go check on her and find out why she's crying, she says that she is going to miss us so much when we get old and die. And it's not just a whimper, she's sobbing. Now, the first time it happened, our pet bird just died. We had a little ceremony, and I took the opportunity to teach her about life and death and how everyone gets old and eventually dies. My daughter nearly floors me when she said that grandma told her that if you make Jehovah happy you never die. (nice huh!) The second time it happened, about 6 or 7 months later it was 1 day after sleeping over at grandma's. They haven't been alone there since and we've decided we only use her for emergencies. I think that's where the comment is coming from, because she's already feeling the pinch.

    Anyway, I don't know what the laws are here in Canada, I will familiarize myself with them when the time comes, but if she wants to see the kids, I need to be there, end of story. I will go broke on legal fees and they will have to drag me to jail kicking and screaming before I let that happen.

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