How Would You Respond to this PM?

by AudeSapere 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Twitch

    tell 'em to go fish

    or pony up some info first,..

  • OnTheWayOut

    Beware of them giving you information even. They may choose a false identity of someone you would expect to be okay to talk to. I am not paranoid and looking behind every rock but you have to be careful. I figure if anyone wants to bond with me from my JW past, I will ask them to meet me in a very public place that I would likely be anyway, so I could always tell the two elders that tried to fake me out, "Oh HI THERE! I was just having coffee and reading my book here, what a coincidence. Have a nice day, gotta go." But if it turns out to be someone who sits down and says some stuff to be legit, I can slowly open up with them.

    About the best thing you could do would be to open a thread seeking advice, entitled "How Would You Respond to this PM?"

  • AudeSapere

    Wow! Thanks for all the responses, everyone.

    OTWO wrote: About the best thing you could do would be to open a thread seeking advice, entitled "How Would You Respond to this PM?"

    LOL. And guess what? That's just what I did~!

    First I responded to the pm. THEN I posted this thread. I've been here FAR too long and seen too much to be so naive as to give out much personal identifying information - JW or not! Although a few hours scouring my posts would likely give such good clues. And as I've said, I have been identified by a few people - all with good response. I've also identified a couple of people here. Heck, the first one I approached actually had cited me and my family *by name* in a post, all without even knowing that I was on the board.

    mkr32208 wrote: Who cares if you get outed? You clearly realize what a giant load of mott droppings the entire thing is so who cares. ... Christ what are you all 10?

    At this point, for me, it's not really so much about being outed to the JWs. It's about social graces and my personal safety. With the info that I've presented on this board over the past 6 or 7 years someone could absolutely piece together my name and city. Plug those 3 bits into search site like Spokeo, and I've opened myself to a potential stalker, or worse. As someone said on another thread a few months ago: Men are afraid women will embarrass them. Women are afraid men will kill them. I live alone with much open space behind me. A JW friend of mine was murdered by someone she did not know. I've had a family member assaulted and left for dead. We are not talking about a simple 'outing'. We are talking about personal safety. The 'outing to the elders' is not as big a deal for me, but may for others here.

    I have met probably 50 JWD/JWN posters, pm'd about 20 or 30 others and exchanged Christmas Cards with another 30 or so. In most of my pm's, I give my real name and with my Christmas Cards, well, those people have my real address. I'm not paranoid. Just cautious of unidentified strangers who want more personal info from me without offering even a shred of info about themselves.

    jwgonebad wrote: I'd like to know who the poster who sent you the PM is so that the rest of us can be on the look out.

    So as not to violate privacy, I will not give the name of the poster. I debated whether or not to even post the exact pm. Another reason I posted the pm was in case others had received the same or similar one they would see mine and either post here or send me a pm. So far, no one has said they received one like that.

    Sabatious, jay 88 and Outlaw - Scam? Yeah. I hate to think I was the only one singled out for a Scam, but it did have that generic, slimy feel.

    wannaexit - I understand newbie excitement and all. What I wonder, though is why someone would be so cryptic and protective of their *own* identity, while in the same sentence ask a woman to disclose even more personal information about herself without even referencing what it was that caught their attention in the first place. Why not reference the post, give a little more background info as to how you may connected to that specific incident or place, give your first name (or even initials, or age, something!).

    Broken Promises, Laverite, MrMonroe, chickpea, nugget, darth fader, mamalove, MadSweeney, undercover, and Twitch - I agree with all of you. I did not give any more info and *did* ask for more info first.

    For those who care, here is the pm I sent in response last night:

    Hi '[new poster's alias]' -

    Thanks for reaching out to me. It's always great to meet up with old friends and I've met a few on this site as well as made some good new friends.

    Before I give out too much info to a 'stranger', I'd prefer that you tell me a little about yourself and perhaps cite the post that caught your eye so I can know where to begin.

    Looking forward to hearing from you!

    I have not heard back from the poster and it there have been no new posts either from him/her.

    Still hoping that this *is* an old friend/acquaintance, though.


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