by mrsjones5 35 Replies latest jw experiences
They are doing the exact same thing to a 16yr old in my hubands hall.
I'm often unable to talk to him at all they really keep him busy. However, when I do get a chance to talk to him I tell him about the things he is good at and how he can learn more about his talents in college.
I also tell me wait to get baptized because he is too young.
I'm glad he has you too talk to...that means he might be able to see a different life for himself.
From your posts Mrs Jones, you seem honest and supportive by nature to others and this boy senses that. That's why the boy can talk with you about how he truly feels. Actually, I feel 15 yr olds should be working some anyway. Many of us worked in those ages long ago but still feel it was good for our character development. Maybe for this kid, this job skill will help him when he's 18 to move out on his own. Any way that you can help him to delay baptism would be great also.
You just gotta love these douchebag parents and congregation busy-bodies who have nothing better to do then to try and groom some impressionable kid into becoming some Stepford drone doormat with no future or prospects for a happy life. Uggg!!!!
First, I'd ask him if he's allowed to make descisions on dating? What movies he can/can't see? How late he can stay out? Who he can "associate" with? Blood transfusions? Is he old enough to drive, drink, vote, smoke, serve his country in a war? If the answer to these simple questions is "no" than what makes the people around him feel he's qualified to be pushed towards serving as a MS, and eventually Elder, much less being baptized. All of the above are mature descisions that shouldn't be made in the "bloom of youth" according to the WT, so why push being an MS or Elder on this poor kid? Sounds like the D-bag parents trying to live through their overspring. Also, the question about wanting to do hard manual labour for the rest of his life should shock him awake as well.
You're much too nice; he came to you for advice, I'd give it to him point-blank and ask that it stay just between you two. He obviously wants some reassurance that he's not crazy for not wanting to be a JW douchebag Elder or going to BetHELL. Give him want he wants, some reassurance that it's ok for him to do good in school and want to better himself in college. Luke was a Doctor after all.
I swear, it's like these losers want the worst for their kids, instead of the best - a life filled with never-ending shit jobs, no benefits, hardship, physical and emotional distress, and no minds of their own. Just mindless, ignorant, beaten down dumbasses. SAD.
- Wing Commander
I agree with Gayle! Thats good that he is learning to do some drywall, so he can support himself when he moves out of the house at 18.
Maybe for this kid, this job skill will help him when he's 18 to move out on his own.
Yeah that the one bright side to his working, hopefully being able to save monies to get out on his own.
He's a good kid, kinda goofy and a bit of a talker like my boy. But my son says he can be kind of depressing to be around and I've told my son to consider the source. I was born and raised in the bOrg, I was told in high school that I was depressing to be around sometimes and it was true. Being a kid in the bOrg ain't easy or fun and I've tried to make my son aware of that and to have a little bit of sympathy for what his friend has to go through.
I hope with all my heart he can get out.
The work thing is cool..I did it when I was a kid..It gives you experience..Let that go..
As long as he`s with his parents..
There`s not much you can do about the JW Cult..
Except support him and give him something to think about..
....................
...OUTLAW
I don't have kids so I am refraining from giving a strong opinion but...
I consider something like this:
"If I tell you my opinions, can you keep it just between you and I so your parents don't get all upset?"
(Yes)
"Do your parents let you date?"
(No)
"Do they consider dating so serious and only for people ready for marriage?"
(Yes)
"And do they say that marriage is a huge decision for mature adults only?"
(Yes)
"Then do they also say that dedication and baptism is the biggest decision and most important one in life?"
(Yes)
"Well, then. I would say that you know you need to wait until you are even an adult to make sure you are
deciding for yourself without pressure about dedication and baptism. Jesus waited until he was 30 for a reason.
If you wait until you do independent research outside of the influence of others, you can choose for yourself.
As far as the rest of their goals for you, your parents and others want what is best for you, but you really have
to do that independent research before you decide for yourself what's best for you. But you do know that you
need to continue getting a good education as your primary goal right now. That's your role in life now. I
recommend that you focus on that."
There`s not much you can do about the JW Cult..
Except support him and give him something to think about..
Yeah I know. Even though I had my doubts about the bOrg growing up I had no one to talk to about it who would really understand what I was talking about. When I was 19 I met a brother of a co-worker who had been df'd. He came to my work place and I guess his sister told him I was a jw and he came to me, looked me dead in the eye and said that he knew that I couldn't talk to him but he wanted me to know that it was all a lie. No one had ever said that to me before but it left an impression. I'm hoping that I've made an impression with my son's friend (well I know I have). I in no way want to usurp his parents but I do want to impress on him that he has a choice to do what he wants to do and it's not wrong nor is it wrong to know that the "truth" is a lie.
I like your line of reasoning OTWO.
Firstly, Mrs Jones I have read many of your posts since I became a member of this site and I think you give good advice.
I see where you are coming from with this boy. It is important like you say to keep the door open as anything said which may get back to his parents and they don't like could stop his trips to your house and as you know JW children don't often have much of a social life.
I think many have given good advice here. Sometimes I think if you say something positive that can work. For example as you have detected he doesn't like the work he has at the moment you could state that any experience is a good experience because it helps someone to make up their mind more fully about what they don't want do and lead them onto something that they really want to do. This could leave to the conversation where you say something like as you are not keen on this kind of work has this helped you to focus on something else that you might like to try.
Also, I felt with my children that working as students is an advantage as they can try many different things and none of it affects the CV in the way that full time employment does. If, for example, one leaves school for full time employment and keeps changing because they don't like the job it looks bad. However, as a student he can try many different jobs and it just won't matter and in fact can be seen as a positive.
Good luck I am sure you will give excellent advice.
Just want to say thank you one and all for the advice you've given. I've read all of it and will ponder on ways to continue to be on a positive track with the boy. I've been given good points and tips and I do appreciate it.
Love the supoort ya'll...now I'm off to do laundry. Big yay! *snicker*
