Is Forgiveness Overrated?

by leavingwt 195 Replies latest jw friends

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  AGuest

  Is Forgiveness Overrated?

  I don't think so, dear LWT (peace to you!).

  Is it always necessary?

  My position would be, yes, it is always necessary... but not for the reason you might think I would say. I say yes... in order for the one forgiving to be free and TRULY whole. Otherwise, some "part" of you remains "with" the one you haven't forgiven. Even if that person hasn't a clue (which they very often don't... or, at least, don't know why you have such problem with them). But it takes something from YOU.

  It is always possible? Yes, it really is. Always. One only has to choose to do so... choose to let it go.

  Is it always easy? Heck, no. Sometimes it takes years. Sometimes... a lifetime. Very few, however, take "it" with them when they go (when they know they're going). At the last hour they start thinking about folks (unless they're really crotchity) and asking forgiveness from... as well as "forgiving" them. Why wait until then? THIS life is truly TOO short for all that.

  Again, peace to you!

  A slave of Christ,

  SA
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  leavingwt

  Is it always easy? Heck, no. Sometimes it takes years. Sometimes... a lifetime.

  I know what you mean.
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  ProdigalSon

  Forgiveness is crucially important in many spiritual teachings...especially forgiveness of yourself, because that makes it a lot easier to forgive others. Jesus put it in the Lord's prayer because it's important.... forgiveness has the ability to cancel karmic debt, and even collapse time.

  That doesn't mean that we're supposed to continue taking abuse from them...whether they are friend, foe or family, we have every right to get their negativity out of our lives. There is no cosmic law that says blood ties make it ok to abuse family members.
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  Snoozy

  I am in agreement with Ms Jones..Why harbor something and let it bother us when the other party has probably moved on..

  I would also watch my back around that person.

  I guess that is what it means to Forgive but not forget..

  Snoozy
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  Witness 007

  I forgive.....but i cant forget....well the HELL WITH YOU THEN!!! I hate that saying.....Translation - I forgive you but I don't.
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  undercover

  Why harbor something and let it bother us when the other party has probably moved on..

  I would also watch my back around that person.

  I guess that is what it means to Forgive but not forget..

  But if you forgive someone of whatever trespass they may have committed, doesn't that automatically involve forgetting?

  Let's say someone stole from you. It was a one time thing... but they apologized, made restitution, swore it wouldn't happen again. Out of the goodness of your heart, you accept that apology, forgive them and move on. It might not happen overnight but in time, you forget about that episode and eventually trust that person in the same situation as before.

  But - if that person apologized, blah, blah, blah, but yet stole again and again, you can't forget that. You know that they can't be trusted therefore you protect yourself from them and their habits. You haven't forgotten and by not forgetting and taking steps to protect yourself, you haven't forgiven them. You can't forgive them...they've proved themselves unworthy of forgiveness.
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  journey-on

  Forgiveness takes the place of vengeance. When you cease wanting revenge, you have forgiven.
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  Finally-Free

  If I forgive someone it's for my own peace of mind. It doesn't mean I'll allow the person to be in a position to hurt me a second time.

  W
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  undercover

  When you cease wanting revenge, you have forgiven.

  Nice sentiment... I almost like it. But it's not that simple.

  The illustration that I gave earlier is loosely based on true events. I have basically shut this person out. I can't trust them. I don't forgive them...they owe me money. I don't want vengeance or I'd force them to repay. I've written it off...I'll never see that money. But I know to never, ever trust that person or to believe them or to bother helping them. In that respect I have not and will not forgive them for the pain and trouble they put me through. And it is relflected in that our relationship has forever been affected, never to return to what it was.
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  journey-on

  Maybe there's different kinds/levels of forgiveness, like different kinds of love.................agape, journey-on