Restraining order against me from my JW Wife

by karlosranson 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper

    KARLOSRANSON- I'm so sorry you are going through this horrible time in your life. I too got divorced from a JW wife in 1998 who seemed to overeact emotionally about EVERYTHING. Never had a restraining order against me however ANY divorce is difficult. You mentioned the " night in question " . All I've read so far is that someone called you " frantic " - but as of yet not too many other details. I believe you when you say it was a stressful situation . As far as me personally being able to give a bit more advice - might be nice to have more information.

    Like yourself my main concern was the welfare of my then young teenage and puberty aged children. That's good you are concerned also about them. Your JW wife will use them as a wedge against you, believe me. Are your children aware of what went down that night in which their mother is getting a restraining order against you ? That may loom big in courts as well. If you feel like sharing more feel free to PM me if you are uncomfortable putting it on the thread. I wish you the best friend. Please hang in there and take courage

  • Listener

    The JW guide is an eye opener, another snippet

    This can be used to show that they are normal .
    Identify and interview young people from local
    congregations who have been raised as Jehovah's
    Witnesses and, in the eyes of the presiding overseer, are
    spiritually minded but also enjoy the normal healthy
    things that young people do . They don't have to be
    competitive to enjoy sports . Be careful that they don't
    get the impression that they are in a demonstration at
    the circuit assembly, when they would show that the
    first things in life are service and going to the Kingdom
    Hall . Show hobbies, crafts, social activity, sports, and
    especially plans for the future . Be careful they don't all
    say that they are going to be pioneers . Plans can be
    trade, getting married and having children, journalism,
    and all kinds of other things . Maybe you can show an
    interest in art and the theater . They must be clean,
    moral, honest, but with the interests that you would
    expect from other young people .

    If you are disfellowshipped I would be focusing on how they are viewed by JWs as this is what you're children will be taught.

  • DJPoetech

    OMG! I hate what this org does to families.

    Decided to have second child 10/07...

    Disassociated 04/08...

    Was served divorce papers 10/08...

    Its f'd up!

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    "After a careful consideration of the Scriptures and the historical background of Christmas, my family and I concluded that the celebration of Christmas was not necessary to have God's approval. We have decided not to limit our gift-giving and family gatherings to specific pre-determined dates, but would rather enjoy these activities year round."

    Crap like this is a great setup for your attorney, if he's ready with a series of follow-up questions ahead of time. A prepared attorney can then ask: "What was the last gift you wrapped for your daughter/son/children?" "When was that?" And then before you move on to another subject, "you said that it was a 'consideration of the Scriptures and historical background of Christmas' that caused you to conclude not to celebrate Christmas, correct?" "Isn't it true that if you were found by your congregation elders celebrating Christmas that you would be excommunicated, disfellowshipped from the Jehovah's Witness congregation?" Then hammer home the evils of shunning.

    The same sort of setup comes from the blood doctrine that kills children.

    The entire Custody Packet is designed to make the JW appear to the judge as NOT a cult. An attorney who is prepared can very well prove that these people are not only weird and cultish, they are a danger to children physically with the blood doctrine and emotionally/mentally/socially with the cult rules and abnormal upbringing.

  • Luo bou to
    Luo bou to

    Been there The WT does a good job of turning the wife against you when your DF'd and have no intention of going back. Mine became paranoid convinced that I must be the devil incarnate. ( I started attending church ) Fortunately the kids were older the youngest our son was 15 and they chose to move out of the family home with me Had peace of mind after that No longer living with this crazy person. I did not contest the domestic violance order which she got from the courthouse after the police refused to give her one. Where are the bruises the police asked "He is cunning he does not leave any "she replied Later my son asked her Why don't you want to live with dad her reply "I cant live with a man that bashes me" My son said When did dad bash you She did not answer but changed the subject Imagine if she said that to her witness buddies they would not question that statement but sympathize with her not a direct lie but an inferance that leads to believing a lie. We fell in love and where happily married for nearly 20 years I got screwed by the control the WT had over my wife. Actually we both got screwed Cause if it wasn't for that cult we would still be together That's what really bugs me I couldn't find a way to overcome the mind control

    Sorry about the rant I do understand and Good luck with the court case ( oooh I said luck )

  • GLTirebiter

    Get a copy of the "Preparing for..." brochure to your lawyer. Then follow your attorney's advice about the restraining order hearing! It may be an automatic action that applies equally to both sides with no implication of bad intent, or it might require a finding of fault. That varies, and your lawyer will know how the law applies to your case and in the court that will hear it. Equally important, a good attorney knows what tactics don't work, so you won't sabotage your own case.

    Good luck, and make the best of your day in court!

  • AudeSapere

    Any update? How did it go??

  • jwfacts

    Watchtower 1994 Feb 15 p.24
    "We must also be on guard against extended association with worldly people. Perhaps it is a neighbor, a school friend, a workmate, or a business associate. We may reason, 'He respects the Witnesses, he leads a clean life, and we do talk about the truth occasionally.' Yet, the experience of others proves that in time we may even find ourselves preferring such worldly company to that of a spiritual brother or sister. What are some of the dangers of such a friendship?"

    Watchtower 1987 September 15 p.12 Breathing This World's "Air" Is Death-Dealing!
    "The majority of people alive are alienated by God and controlled by the Devil. ? While some contact with worldly people is unavoidable-at work, at school, and otherwise-we must be vigilant so as to keep from being sucked back into the death-dealing atmosphere of this world. ?Let the world go along in its way, reaping its bad fruitage in the form of broken homes, illegitimate births, sexually transmitted diseases, such as AIDS, and countless other emotional and physical woes."

    Watchtower 1984 October 1 pp.15, 19 Remain "Without Spot From the World"
    "We must avoid the speech, conduct and attitudes that are so common among worldly individuals, but that are out of harmony with God's Word. For instance, hatred, greediness, shameful conduct and obscene jesting have no proper place in our life. ? We must 'put up with one another and be forgiving, even as Jehovah has freely forgiven us.' (Colossians 3:13) That is not the common worldly way of dealing with others, but it is the godly way."

    True Peace and Security - How Can You Find It? pp.122,126 Survivors Must Be "No Part of the World"
    "Only a minority has ever stayed free from the control of this invisible ruler and his forces. Thus the "world," that is, the mass of mankind alienated from God, "is lying in the power of the wicked one?. This may sound hard to believe. Yet, do not most people of this world clearly manifest the attitude and works of God's Adversary? ... Worldly people, for example, heap honor and glory on those whose ambitious drive leads them to great wealth, power, or fame""

    Watchtower 1970 March 1 p.148
    "He will want to watch how he walks so he does not unintentionally begin acting like worldly youths."

    Watchtower 1966 June 1 p.341
    "If you are one of those rare persons that wants to serve the Creator today, that wants to give him exclusive devotion, that wants to do work that is pleasing in his eyes, that wants to receive his approval and his gift of life, then let Jehovah, by means of his spirit, cultivate in you the good condition of heart that is a mark of his people."

    Watchtower 1954 December 15 p.759
    "By giving the Kingdom message instead of giving mere money or material things they reach those who are really "poor in spirit," "conscious of their spiritual need," rather than just the self-seeking poor of this world who do not care to belong to Jehovah. Thus the unappreciative worldly poor who prefer to belong to Satan the "god of this system of things" are screened out."

  • The_Present_Truth

    Marking for later. I hope things work out for you Karlos.

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