How should I reply?

hotchocolate

So I wrote an email to my brother to tell him that I love him and that it's sad that a religion has come between us. This is the reply I got:

stupid and ignorant. You have no idea what i have been thru in my life. I was living a worldly life and i saw the shallowness of it all so i made my decision based on lots of study to return to the truth. MY DECISION. Things have never been clearer. Don't send me anymore messages.

Which is just such a nice email to get, don't you think? :-(

So of course I want to reply. Something like this?

***

Living a "worldly" life? Oh, I guess you must mean drugs and alcohol and sleeping around. Yes, of course, because if you're not a Jehovah's Witness, you must automatically be living an evil and self-centered life. Give me a break. And don't talk to me about study. I researched the Jehovah's Witness religion using only witness literature - did that for two years before I realised I had sadly been following something that was incorrect for my whole life. I had no choice but to leave my friends and family. I'll never live a hypocritical life, and if my family cut me off because some men in New York tell them they have to, then I can't do a damn thing about that.

No-one should be made to pay the price of their family in exchange for truth and freedom, but if that's the choice I need to make, I would make it a hundred times over again. How extremely awful of you to talk to me like you did in that email simply because I don't believe what you believe. If you want my heart, I may as well cut it out and hand it over on a plate. But you do not own my heart, it is alive and well and beating better than it ever did.

PS What's the latest change on 1914? Surely they're going to drop that once it hits 100 years on? Bit embarrassing, that's for sure.

***

Okay so maybe I'll drop the PS.. :-)

Not sure if I'm on the right track with this email - it's hard to see things through that cognitive dissonance mentality, and I would sooner try to appeal than dig in points that really will fall on deaf ears.

Thoughts?

x

MrFreeze

There's nothing you can reply. Nothing will get through to him. He's been warped and twisted. Just remember, he's disowning you, you aren't disowning him. The Bible says that "anybody who doesn't provide for those who are his own, and especially for those those who are members of his household, he is worse than a person without faith." He's not providing love for his own, his family. It's just a sad truth. I'm so sorry for you.

Bluegill

Replies from family members like that break my heart. I'm sorry...

Bluegill

GrandmaJones

I don't know what to advise you. His email was plain hateful. Perhaps you should begin ignoring him. Until he comes to his senses, I don't see any further profit in talking about this with him. He just doesn't get it, does he?

jwfacts

I am sorry to hear you received such a heartless email from your brother.

Your reply is great. You can add the following Watchtower quote, since your second paragraph is saying very much the same thing.

"No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family."
Awake! 2009 July p.29

I also picked up on his statement of doing "lots of study", and feel like adding:

"I would love to hear about the "lots of study" you have done. It is impossible to regard the Watchtower as truth after doing legitimate research. Or did you mean you re-read the information you have been indoctrinated with since childhood?"

AGuest

Greetings, dear HotChoco... and peace to you! How about something like:

"Yes, well, from the appearance of your response, doesn't look like you've gotten past that "worldly" and "shallow" part, dear brother. In fact, it makes me think you have become even more PART of the world, in light of what's written at Matthew 5:43-48. I am sorry, then, that the DECISION you made has caused you to be an even greater putz than you were before. As for things being "clearer", well, I'm not so sure. Apparently, they're not clear enough for you to (1) see yourself as you now are, as a result of (2) what they've made you become (so, like, from bad to worse), and (3) what Christ said about loving others... even your enemies. See, now, I, who you apparently now consider your "enemy," sent you a greeting of love... which is what I am supposed to do. Your response, however, contains nothing but animosity, hostility, even hate. And you're the "christian." Where, dear brother, may I ask is the Christ in that? If hating those of your own flesh is what you've learned to do (although Isaiah 57:7 seems to indicate that that's NOT what you're supposed to do), the I am glad I am not a part of it with you. I'm confused, though: aren't they supposed to be teaching you about things like that... loving even your enemy? If so, I have to say that I think they are failing you... miserably. Which might be why you responded so, well, miserably. What else COULD you do?

But please, take care; this will be my last message TO you, because I certainly want to respect YOUR wishes. But it certainly won't be my last about you. I have friends who would LOVE to see the "love" your religion teaches you to show others who do not believe what you believe. They are constantly saying that the WTBTS is a cult... and given your response, I believe it. I also believe it will be a good witness from ME... to THEM... as to what god... and religion... NOT to serve. So, THANK you... and, again, I love YOU! Love (really!), "Sis"

How's that? If nothing else, it'll make him think about what he sounds/appears like to others. Or maybe not. Sigh...

Anyway, I'm sorry that you received one of those cursory reformed whorish "Don't speak to me, you're so totally beneath me now because I'm so much cleaner than you now because I rub elbows with the followers of the WTBTS" kind of responses. Most of them only say such things because (1) they don't know what else to say and (2) they don't really know how to love. I mean, if they show love only to those loving them... they ARE the "world". Because that is what the "nations"... and not those who belong to Christ... do.

Again, peace to you!

A slave of Christ,

SA

mamalove

That is really low...judgmental of him. I am sorry you had to see that. I too have had some really mean emails from my mom and sister. They also ignore me. It is very upsetting.

Snoozy

Why bother, you're probably blocked now...

Snoozy

flipper

HOT CHOCOLATE- Your brother DEFINITELY sounds like a HARD -a$$ JW. I'd leave the P.S. in. Perhaps the best part of your letter ! Thinking about the 1914 & " Generation " thingie. Also good was making him think about how you are a decent person and aren't out drinking, drugging, fornicating, etc. etc. so he see's that people leaving the witnesses are just as decnt if not MORE so than JW's. He sounds very arrogant and he was really rude to you. Great letter ! Send it ! You might make him think on some things from what you wrote. Good job

hotchocolate

Thanks for your replies, yes that email on Christmas morning was really upsetting.

JWFacts, ta for that quote, I will add it in. Actually I really like the study line too. Done. You really should write a website you know? ;-) Hope you're doing good by the way! x

Mr Freeze and AGuest - thank you, I really like those points, hard to work out what to put in to the letter before he hits delete and doesn't read any more anyway.

Drafting a response.

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