Sticky Situation - What to do?

by I<3MYGod 54 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Jesus would try his best to get loved ones out of a dangerous mind control cult, I think.

  • Palimpsest

    Playing armchair psychologist really isn't my goal here, but the thought I have is, are you envious deep down that she has their favor and you don't? Is that why you're making comparisons between you and her? I know you don't want to be a JW, so you don't necessarily want their respect in that sense, but maybe there's a part of you that's feeling it's unfair that she gets to "sin" and be loved by them while you're also "bad" in their eyes but don't get that love? Maybe that's the real source of frustration you're feeling -- you're not so much mad at her for her lifestyle as you are at them for not approving yours, so you're projecting it all onto her.

    I know that was one of the reasons I used to have similar thoughts in regards to one of my sisters. Once I got over that by remembering that nothing about her life was better than mine, I stopped caring about her status with the JWs and moved on. Letting go of the weight of that grudge was wonderful. So maybe instead of asking what you can do to her, ask why you're having those feelings and what you can do to resolve them on your end.

  • 144001
    My brother in-law's dad is an elder of high importance.

    An elder of high importance? Is there such a thing? Did you really mean "an elder of high impotence?" There are plenty of those . . .

  • Honesty

    I say leave 'em be.

    JW's are very toxic and unpredictable.

  • Alwayshere


  • mouthy

    I am the Granny as you know.>>>>>Mouthy as usual

    What is grannies advice???? Let it go...! I believe she will eventually be caught.
    In the first place ...Now we are FREE!! Let us be FREE!!! Lets show the LOVE of GOD!!!.
    I do believe Love IS long suffering,kind, doesnt keep account of the injury!!! So be grateful
    Thats you my dear !!! being a forgiving person.And YOU can be the nicest person. That is a TRUE
    follower of MY GOD!!!!Doing to others as you would have liked to be done to you ( It wasnt)

    I know it would feel justice to turn her in ...A good gloat! But I believe GOD will be the final JUDGE!!!

    My 2 cents as always.....

  • Scully

    I struggle with similar family dynamics with my JW relatives. I'm not DFd or DAd, haven't set foot in a KH in over 15 years.

    I got baptized before I was an adult, having been threatened with getting kicked out of the house unless I "smartened up and got baptized". I have siblings who were raised in it, just like I was, but never got baptized (and FWIW were never threatened with being kicked out if they didn't). I was a good JW... married within the JWs, could have died in childbirth because of the blood issue, and even kept my mouth shut for a long time about being molested by a JW. My siblings are welcome in my parents home, I am not, even though I don't smoke, drink excessively, fornicate, etc. like my siblings do.

    Sometimes the hypocrisy of it all frustrates me, how they can turn a blind eye or live in denial of the facts is beyond me. I simply disagree with the theology (as do my siblings) while adhering to a moral/ethical code of behaviour, but for some reason that little dip in the pool I took as a minor makes all the difference in whether I have permission to associate with them or not. I'd be lying if I said that I haven't given any thought to confronting them over their hypocrisy, especially when I know they will associate with DFd people when they go on vacation, even stay in their homes and have meals with them (because they can sponge off them and save money on hotels), but I figure they have to live with themselves when all is said and done. It's their Karma they are screwing up, not mine. I wasted 25 years in that cult and I'll be damned if I waste any more of my energy trying to jump through stupid hoops to gain their approval. It is all a mind-f*ck, truly, and I refuse to participate in their game whose script equals me sucking up to them and them turning around and rejecting me. Over and over and over. Life is hard enough without all that mental and emotional cruelty, and it only ended when I stood up for myself and said "ENOUGH" and decided to stop participating in my own torture.

    All I can say is that I sincerely hope they do not call on me to provide assistance for them when they need it, because they are going to grow old and die in this Old System Of Thingsā„¢, and if they dare try I'm going to remind them of how $h!tty they've treated me and my family for years. And then I'll tell them to KMA.

  • GLTirebiter

    I think it's best to "just leave well enough alone and let them enjoy their debauchery". If you feel that you must do something, do so privately--between you and the individuals involved. Discussing their conduct with third parties is inappropriate unless there's something that requires a police report--and what you've described doesn't (unless the drug situation is really serious, endangering children etc.). Dwelling on another's faults is the kind of behavior that gives the WT a bad name; why stoop to their level? Be the better person!

  • JunkYardDog

    I<3god ; I know your pissed. I'm usually the first poster here to say go off on your jw family and cause them as much trouble as you can. In your case they have alway left the wts. weather they are elders or r&f jw's , their day will come. I would sit back and watch them destroy themsleves. it will happen just as they have shunned you for years. I would remind them every time they talk to you , that they can not lie to me or jehovah, I will never forget how you treated me. and Jehovah will never forget how you lie in his name. YOur nothing but a hypocrite. you can turn tha tables on them without ever trying to turn them in to the elders. I feel your pain.

  • mouthy

    SCULLY!!!!I didnt realize all you wrote SCULLY

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