Moses goes to heaven

by moshe 13 Replies latest social humour

  • moshe
    moshe

    Our Rabbi told us this one tonight at Sabbath services-

    Moses died and went to heaven.
    God greets him at the Pearly Gates.
    'Are you hungry, Moses?' asks God.
    'I could eat,' Moses replies.
    So God opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they share it.
    While partaking of this humble meal, Moses looks down into Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, briskets, pheasants, pastries and wines. Curious but deeply trusting, he remains quiet.
    The next day God again invites Moses to join him for a meal.
    Again it's tuna and rye bread.
    And, again, Moses can see those denizens of Hell enjoying salmon, champagne, lamb, truffles, and chocolates. Still he says nothing.
    The following day, mealtime arrives and yet another can of tuna is opened.
    He can't contain himself any longer. Meekly, he says: 'God, I am grateful to be here in heaven with You as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread, and in that 'other place' , they all eat like emperors and kings! Look at the smorgasboard they have! I just don't understand.'

    God sighs, 'Oy', 'Let's be honest,' He says. 'For just two people, does it really pay to cook?

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    My bf (he's Jewish) got a good chuckle from that. :)

  • moshe
    moshe

    Glad your boyfriend liked it.--- our rabbi comes up with some good ones. It appears that Jewish humor is lost on this audience.

  • sabastious
    sabastious

    lol!

    -Sab

  • cantleave
  • St George of England
    St George of England

    So how do you make a Jewish omelette?

    First, borrow two eggs...................

    George

  • JunkYardDog
    JunkYardDog

    Moshe; I clearly got the joke the ending was the twist

  • myelaine
    myelaine

    funny...I'll remember that to tell at bible study...(still chuckling)...

    xo

  • moshe
    moshe

    I imagine that joke was the excuse for many congregants, for going out to dinner tonight.

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    LOL, Moshe! My rabbi in KC was always good for a joke or two. I havent been to temple since I moved to a small town with a very small Jewish community, so thanks for sharing the joke.

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