Children of adult ex-jw's

by man in black 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • tellthetruth

    So truthlover, it was "the talks at the hall" that gave your son his health problems and not the drugs and drinking? Come on now, tell the truth. He has done what he knows is wrong and his conscience is hurting him. I wonder when he might start blaming you for not encouraging him to stay in the truth? How will you deal with that?

  • mrsjones5

    How will you deal with that?

    Wow, the meaness is amazing. Reminds me of my mother. You're a jw aren't you?

  • just n from bethel
    just n from bethel

    Thank you so much for your valuable insight tellthetruth. It's great to have someone new pop in and start diagnosing the real reasons for our family members health problems. Since you're all about telling the truth - why don't you lead by example? Start with your congregation. Then tell us your name. Also can you answer why it is that all that the JWs provide you via association, congregation meetings, literature, conventions, their very own web sites, etc. - is not enough for you? What is it that is missing from your life that makes you want to come to a JW forbidden site like this and engage in apologetic tantrums? Are you just not satisfied with all the spiritual provisions from the WT org? Come on now, tell the truth.

  • Watchtowers Witnesses
    Watchtowers Witnesses

    Welcome to the forum Tellthetruth. How long have you been in the truth? Were you born into the truth? You should start a introductory post with your story so we don’t hijack this thread.

  • wobble

    My two sons were raised in, neither got baptised, both left long before we did.

    Neither has any interest in JW's or any religion,and they say "Why could you not have left decades ago, and we could have had a normal childhood".

    But they do not hold it against us, they say they still had a good childhood, and we made them what they are today,despite the religion.

    We are lucky to have sons that are balanced ,well-rounded individuals who still love us despite our being in a Cult until they were well into adulthood.

    Our relationship now is much more relaxed than when they had to hide the things they did, like smoking etc, so as not to cause a confrontation, not that there would have been one, even when I was in, I was of the opinion that they made their own life choices.

    I was never a Nazi-Dub.

  • finallysomepride

    All my 3 children were raised into JWland but we left when eldest was 13 & youngest 7, and now that youngest is now almost 18 & having recently talked to all of them on this very subject, there is is absolutely zero interest in any return to JWland, phew that was a relief LOL

  • tellthetruth

    just n from bethel - you can't tell me you thought that post wasn't a little self-revealing. The kid leaves, takes up drugs and drinking and then his parents blame the thing he has left for his troubles? Huh? I know I don't know the situation, but from the few details given it did seem strange. I feel sorry for the young man. My experience and the experience of my friends is completely different. The truth has helped me sort out problems in my life. I don't think drugs and alcohol are the answer. Do you think they are? BTW - I think it is a little over the top to call my questioning his reasoning as a "tantrum". (Nice use of my line too in sarcasm - can't think of something original yourself?)

    For someone who is no longer a Witness it is strange you want to force on me the standards you don't want to live by. You ask me to give my personal details, is that standard asked of everyone here?

    There is absolutely nothing missing in my life that makes me want to check this out. I guess, like most people, I stumbled across this site when looking for other things and was curious. At first I was not sure that it was only for disfellowshipped people. The name is misleading when it is really only for people who are not Witnesses at all. Is that telling the truth? From what I have read most here are not telling the truth about why they are no longer Witnesses. There is a lot of complaining about bad treatment, but little honesty along the lines of what you were disfellowshipped for. What I can't believe is how some who have not been Witnesses for decades are still, what seems to be, obsessed with it. What is missing in your life that you have to get on here and whinge and make fun of the organisation and the brothers? Why not move on?

    I am amused by all the scandals on this site pointing to Charles Russell's time and Judge Rutherford's time. Most Witnesses know all that stuff and we have a good laugh about it. You act as if it should shock and dismay us, but you only need to read publications like the Proclaimers book to find out about the Christmas celebrations and the birthdays that used to be celebrated. It seems to only be an issue for someone once they are disfellowshipped. Shock! Horror! I read someting from 1890 that is wrong! Wow!

    Also I have read so many patent lies here. I read one post that talked about hundreds of thousands of deaths of babies due to not having blood transfusions. There are only 7 million Witnesses in the world. If you said there were 2 hundred thousand deaths, then that would mean 1 in 35 Witnesses had died due to not having blood! This is obviously a serious exaggeration designed to slander us. There is no mention of the many lives that have been saved due to not getting Hep C, AIDS, toxic shock, etc. Here is a link to an Australian government health site warning about the dangers of transfusions:

    You have convinced me that it is a waste of time reading anything on this site. It seems to be frequented by people who are full of bile and hate, rather than people who are interested in anything positive.

    I am sorry you are no longer a Witness and hate the organisation so much. That is between you and God. But this place is not for me.

  • just n from bethel
    just n from bethel

    tellthetruth: First off thanks for sharing here. I realize it does take some courage to come to this forum and feed your mind on the abundance of information here, contrary to the instructions given to Witnesses. So first and foremost you have my sincere respect for showing up here at all. That shows you don't really agree with all the teachings from the Watchtower. I know you're not allowed to come out and just say that - but the fact that you took several days to look around, register, look around some more, and finally post - well those actions alone speak louder than any words.

    You mentioned a lot of different subjects in your supposed final post. That really shows you've spent some time here reading up on a number of ideas that current and former JWs disagree with. Often, before one recognizes his own cognitive dissonance, he begins to make heavy handed defenses of the ideas he's no longer absolutely sure about.

    Furthermore, when one is part of a closed society of limited ideas and information, observing free-flowing brainstorming sessions might seem scary. Coming from a society where it is forbidden to critique ideas that come from the top, the first time here you'll likely feel weird and out of place - but at the same time, most active JWs are here because they need something they just can't get in their exclusive religion where real open dialogue is prohibitted.

    In your case, it seemed you needed to explore doctrines that deep inside yourself, you know there is just something not right with them. You also seem to have some emotional issues. Perhaps, you've been unjustly treated by someone in your congregation. But whatever your issue, you decided to lash out people you don't even know. Here on this thread, some sincere poster was expressing some remorse for how they raised their children when they were a Witness. You have no idea about the details of their situation. But you felt ok with letting down your Christian personality and posting your judgmental comments for the world to see.

    And that's what it comes down to. JWs like to claim they're a chosen people - the representatives of true Christianity. But the fact is, a lot have been hurt. They've been treated like dirt and worse - often times due to the JW religion's neverending list of rules, that go well beyond the Bible. So they come here and try to work through it. And so what you'll see here is a lot of support, and real empathy. This love and support comes from people who JWs claim are no longer Christian. But occassionally we get someone that likes to beat people while their down, not offerring any sympathy. Lo and behold, in this case (as in most others here) the most unchristian words came from you - the active Jehovah's Witness. And thus, another permanent record has been left showing how JWs really treat others. Thanks for your excellent witness.

    Anyway, I don't need to return evil for evil. It's obvious you're going through some tough realizations. At some point you might return here in need - And when you do, you will likely find yourself with a sincere warm welcome.

    edited to add: BTW - I don't hate JWs and I find it rare when I meet any former JW that hates JWs. That's another lie you're taught by the organziation. When you're in an organization that classifies everybody by US vs Them and labels them based on religion etc. it's easy to think everybody else in the world thinks that way. But once you're out - one of the first things you learn - is how stop judging everybody just because they have different beliefs. There's a huge difference in not agreeing with a particular belief, and hating people that have such beliefs. I hope someday that you and many in your religion will understand that universal truth.

  • Little Imp
    Little Imp

    Nicely and kindly put Just n from Bethel

  • jwfacts

    Apart from the hijack, this is an excellent thread, (though I have to admit tellthetruth is probably the most eloquent JW apologist that I have read on this board).

    I guess the children of ex-JWs are not too different from ex-JW's. When they leave they are filled with resentment for a life based on lies, and can swing wildly until they find their new balance.

    Both my step-children were grateful to have left. The older one had already left and the younger one thanks me profusely that we no longer are involved. She goes occasionally with her grandmother and finds the meetings to be an embarrassment in their stupidity.

    Neither are interested in religion in any way, neither is my wife. They are fairly balanced "agnostic", though they are not even interested enough to recognise themselves under that label.

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