How families were broken up by wife’s becoming JW’s back in the 50’s

by life is to short 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    There is this sister in the hall I went to who is in her mid 80's. She is very active and pioneers, etc. Well when I was still going to the meetings and out in service she would talk about how she came into the "truth." Her life, etc. She is a very nice sister and enjoyable to be around but extremely cult minded.

    I was thinking the other day she is a prime example of how the "truth" destroys families. She became a JW though the door to door work back in the mid 50's. She was a young wife and mother of three. There were about five other women who became JW's at the same time in her congregation. All had kids and husbands.

    Once they came into the "truth" they stated going door to door during the day. They started leaving their husbands home at night dragging the kids with them to the meetings. No more Saturdays home with the husbands as they were out in service, no more Sunday s together, no holidays, no real family time anymore. The husbands lost everything but the wives were told they were doing the right thing giving their time to Jehovah and she said she was determined not to allow Satan to use her husband to stop her.

    This sister thought it was the best time of her life. She has said that lot though out the time I have known her. She told me that her husband came to her and said "You love Jehovah more then you love me." She told me that she replied to him "You got that one right." When she told me that I felt pain in my heart for her husband, I did not know why because at the time I was still a strong JW myself. Her husband eventually cheated on her and they divorced as did all the woman who came into the "truth" when she did. None stayed married.

    At the time she was telling me the story it did not hit me that the religion caused the breakups of those families but knowing what I know now it is all so clear.

    Looking at it now how unbearably sad. Of her three children one is an elder, one is out of the "truth" and one is mentally ill.

    She remarried an elder. There was no problem with sex for her as she told me she had great sex with her elder husband, not a real picture I wanted in my head but anywho.

    It is just that I know this story must have played out over and over to many, many families though out the years.

    How much heartbreak this religion has caused for so many people we do not even truly stop to think about. I never put two and two together about this sister until a couple of months ago. She would deny to her dying breath that the religion caused her family to break up. She just says her husband and the husbands of all the other woman were just horrible rats. It takes two to make a marriage.

    I know my husband just cannot understand why his putting the religion first in our marriage has caused me such bitterness. You cannot reason with a JW.

    I am starting to be totally convinced that for some reason the powers at Bethel do not want families, not happy families. But it makes no sense why. They speak out of both sides of their mouths but what do they do to encourage family life? Enjoying each other door to door is what the GB says makes for happy families. There have been so many days where I have thought instead of trying to convince this drug addict to convert it would have been so nice to be at the lake or going for a walk enjoying the world God gave us. Even helping in a soup kitchen or driving a older person to the store instead of knocking on doors of people who do not even want us there.

    This is such a sad religion.


  • designs

    Thanks for sharing your experience. That really struck a nerve in all of us, we'll have all flashbacks. When I was 19 and Pioneering I got sent to an old congregation near Los Angeles and was appointed School Overseer and Book Study Conductor, can you imagine. I was chef, cook and counselor to adults like you describe.

  • wasblind

    " Even helping in a soup kitchen or driving a older person to the store"

    Yes LITS, that would really be serving were the need is great .

    BTW, I just love reading your post

  • mouthy

    LITS you are so right....That is why we know they work for the Devil. By dividing families they then get
    free door to door salesmen.& women..This reminds me of my loyalty to the WT.
    Now in my old age 83 I remember back to my "enlistment" to slavery..My hubby used to beg me to quit
    But how could I offend Jehovah? My eldest daughter left home,she didn't want to be preached to anymore
    ( she is now a JW & shuns me) my son( who died) Never became one & I preached to him endlessly,
    I wanted to "SAVE" him He left also.I made my Melanie a JW,(who died)also my Sue.>Thank GOD Sue is now free.
    But the lives we led as a family was "sick" "divided,"all because I listened to a false prophet..Hubby is dead
    & they kicked me out two years after his death.( 1914 issue)All I can do now at my old age ,is sit &
    think about how I ruined my families life.....Yes my hubby beat me at times,to shut me up!!That was not right
    But NOW I know the truth about the "LIE" I feel so sorry for all my errors .
    My heart aches for you LITS because your still having to endure a hubby who is blinded his mind is
    mindcuffed Love you & will continue to pray he will see the light someday


  • fokyc

    YES! How true! I have had and just about coped with this for just short of 60 years!

    I still get preached 'to' and 'at'.

    Never a day without 'what somebody said at the hall' or 'what somebody said at the meeting'.

    I loathe, hate and detest the witnesses, particularly the elders.

    BUT it didn't manage to actually break our marriage up, although it sure did ruin it.

  • wasblind

    " All I can do now at my old age ,is sit & think about how I ruined my families life....."

    Ganny, I understand that you still think about what you did as a witness, I think about

    how I almost destroyed my life too. But I do not view you as a person who is "Just sitting"

    you didn't just sit back when you were a witness because you honestly thought it was the truth

    at the time, like I did, now that you have seen different, Granny, Mouthy, Funnyface, Mrs. Grace

    ain't sittin' back now, you are sounding off a warning bell to all and any who will listen. That

    my friend ain't "Just sitting"

  • mouthy

    wasblindwheres the kleenex with your comment

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    Mouthy I totally agree with wasblind you are not sitting back now but you are helping people many people. You did what you believed was right at the time. This woman that I am speaking of has not woken up yet she is still going door to door putting in 70 hours a month at the age of 85. She is still trying to drag families into this sickness of a religion.

    Grace you are wonderful in all you have done. You were the first one on this board to reach out to me when I was so down, something I will never forget.

    Never blame yourself for what you were lied to about we were all lied to. You did what you thought was right at the time as we all did.

    (((((((HUGS))))))) to you for all you do now to help so many on this board, you save lives. You really do.


  • jaguarbass

    The truth screwed up my family, my parents did not get divorced but my mother did all the bad things you describe

    of neglecting my father on the weekends durning the week draging my brother and me to meetings and

    to sell magazines. When I was younger, I thought all the disfunction in my family was from my father.

    When I got older and reflected back, I see all the problems were my mother and her goofy religion.

    My father tried to celebrate Christmass, tried to celebrate birthdays. She fought him about all that

    and took the joy out of lifes simple pleasures.

    My father wanted to do things

    with my mother but she was always going to meetings and out in field service.

    My mother finally escaped the tower in the late 90's and now spends her days on anti depressants escaping her foolish

    behavior and destructive ways, crying for my father who never was a JW and died 7 years ago.

    She's almost 80 and cant accept she is not going to live forever.

    And all that hell started with a knock on the door back in the 50's from Johnny and Ethel Wagner.

    He was the presiding overseer of the Brooklyn/Cleveland congregation of Jehovahs Witnesses.

    That knock sent a lot of people into a living hell.

  • life is to short
    life is to short


    You are a prime example of what I was talking about. How sad you story is. This religion is horrible if one only steps back to look at it. I remember so many times my husband would tell a newer convert that the "truth" is like a big puzzle and the more the pieces come together the more beautiful it becomes.

    It is so not true once you step back and really look at the puzzle it is a sick twisted piece of mental illness.

    There is no joy in this religion, no happiness, no true hope. Helping others and being kind not trying to convert the world to a cult is happiness. I find so much joy in taking my 90 something friend to the movies so much more joy then trying to convert a drugged out mom with three children from different dads into the cult. But I have been told over and over my spending time with worldly people is wrong and that Jehovah wants every second of our time door to door.

    I have no friends in the "truth" only door to door work mates.

    I asked my husband the other day when he is dying is he going to be thinking I wish I had spent one more day trying to convert someone or is he going to be thinking I wish I had spent one more day with my wife at the lake or on a walk enjoying the gifts God had given me.


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