I can't believe we forgot Sister Elderette. Offically a wife of an elder, unoffically thinks she is in charge of the KH and the entire social secne. If you cross her or, she doesn't think you do enough, you never get invited to parties no matter who is giving them.
How many of you have had these in your congregation?
Brother polyester: wearing the same brown suit and yellow tie combo to blend with his yellow teeth.
Bwahahahaha!!! The polyester suit.....oh Lord how many of those did I see!! Oh and plenty of experience with the "elderettes" Don't even get me started on that one........
how about sister allergy
I had a good friend who was a Sister Allergy, and so were several of her children. She told me once how perfume at the Kingdom Hall put her into such bad convulsions that she ripped the shoulder seams on a good silk blouse and ended up in the hospital, only to have other sisters gossip that she was "doing it for the attention."
Hers was a pretty good congregation, though: they implemented a no-scents policy at meetings and started a book study for severe environmental allergy sufferers - there were about 4 or 5 families in the congregation who attended.
We had all the aforementioned categories except Johnny, Squeaky and Borrow.
How about brother rising star? Baptized at age 10, pioneer at age 14, did not go to college, MS by age 20 and elder at age 25. Is a freelance cleaner, married after promoted to MS with a good looking but also insanely zealous pioneer sister. Some of them get promoted to CO, special pioneer, or get gobbled up by Bethel. I know about 10 of these brothers, one is now a CO at age 32. They always live in a crappy old apartment in a bad neighborhood, but on the inside the house looks perfect and is filled with the most modern equipment (all gifts). Usually they are immaculately groomed control freaks. They either have a crappy old car, or a brand new leased van (being a freelance cleaner and all). They're always born-ins and have elder dads.
When they have a part or comment all they can speak of is doing more in FS, studying more and commenting more, and listening to the FDS. For CA or DA they help clean on friday, get a gazillion volunteer jobs and arrive each day at 6 am and don't leave until they are the last one left.
When you observe them you get the feeling they have zero joy in their life. If you meet them, at first they are nice but once they notice you are not zealous enough the contact dies off.
And the young "suckup brother"who attatched himself to one of the elders,like a Robin to a Batman.And the ones,male or female who smelled soooooo bad when they stood up to sing or pray,that you always tried to sit far far away.
Yay! ...I have known them all, in about 6 congos ...life is the same wherever you are....
Sub species could be
Sister Hypochondriac....always full of her complaints (poor soul, but becomes tedious when she goes on and on.....) "Thats why we need the New World"
Sister Matriarch....strong assertive type who has a trio of satellites who follow her like she was The Messiah
Bro...."The end is really close now"...in every comment