So my Dad is finally out... And I'm as mad as hell!

by artemis.design 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  simon17

  This is tricky. Basically I read your emotions as this:

  * He chose the organization over me. Fine, I understand if one's mind is controlled and they choose their everlasting salvation over their family with legitimate hopes that this is the best way to help that family member gain everlasting salvation. Thats annoying but understandable.

  * But if he then chooses money over that same everlasting salvation, then that leaves you squarely in 3rd place.

  I wouldn't hold it against him... but I wouldn't be going out of my way to be there for him.
• 

  jookbeard

  lets get this straight he worked for a finance company lending to a lot of Dubs in his cong? why would a finance company call in debts? surely they make fortunes in the huge interest that is charged?and if a "loan shark" is a Dub he could never have been in" good standing" in the type of employment he pursued? What part of world do you reside?
• 

  White Dove

  Yes, Simon17, that may be the case. Choose the org over family but money over the org.

  Nice dad, huh?

  I'd be pissed, too.
• 

  artemis.design

  Hi jookbeard, you missunderstood slightly. My dad was an unofficial moneylender, not a loan shark. Im from the midlands, and old mining area. Most of the rest of the cong was usually broke. Up until a year ago my Dad ran a sucessfull waste disposal business, employing several dubs. When folk needed a loan, it was usually my Dad they asked. I don't know the details but some of the loans were for several thousand pounds. No interest was charged. Anyway, a lot of the loans were still outstanding for years and years. My Dad didn't bother too much, but when his company faced bankruptsy, he had no choice but to ask for the loans to be depaid. I don't know the details, but things went sour and he threatened court action.

  My Dad was never a "strong" witness spiritually. Only used to go out in FS 1 or 2 times a month. But he was still in good standing as far as I know.

  Simon 17 is exactly right , it seems my Dads business is number 1, cong number 2, and family number 3.

  But still he is still family. I think I should see this as an opportunity to get closer to my whole family, not just my Dad. The last thing our family needs is a them V us senario.
• 

  cantleave

  Hi Artemis,

  Focus on the positives. Many, even those who have been DF'd still think there is a" ring of truth " about it all. It is up to to us who know the truth to educate these ones. Don't allow your dad's reasons for exiting, to be a cause for resentment or alienation. Use them as an opportunity to start real communication.
• 

  Black Sheep

  He might be chucked out, but that doesn't mean he is mentally free.

  Tread carefully.

  He is probably still sh!t scared of apostasy.
• 

  cult classic

  He is probably still sh!t scared of apostasy.
• 

  Gayle

  There have been even DF'd ones still reporting to elders if they have a friend or relative talking to them that they identify as apostate.

  It sounds like you have certain disappointment in your dad, as it doesn't sound that he has been there for you emotionally. Still, it could be good for you to establish some basic relationship. Maybe go bowling, golf, watching ball games together?
• 

  Ding

  Right now he is angry with the congregation.

  If you discuss anti-borg things, he'll likely turn around and defend them.

  Let him stay angry with them and don't give him a bigger target ("apostates", etc.)

  Unfortunately, it's possible for him to be angry with his congregation while staying loyal the the borg.

  I'll pray that he will start to see things as they are, rather than just seeing that his own congregation is taking advantage of him.
• 

  artemis.design

  Some great advice thanks.

  Even though I'm as cross as hell, I realise this is probably going to be the only opportunity to get my folks out.

  I have decided to discuss JW theology or try and attack it would just be a no-go area. I know my family don't buy a lot of the crap the Borg come up with anyway, but their answer is always the same - they are in it for Jehovah and not imperfect humans.

  So I'm gonna play on the thing my Dad is more than happy to talk about - how unchristian and wrong it is to accept loans and not pay them back, and then make out he is in the wrong, and punish him for it. Do they not realise if the company goes bankrupt, people will loose their jobs? It's not like he's asking or the money back for no reason..ect

  I'm also going to try this on the rest of the family, who have been supprisingly neutral about the whole thing. My step mum is super spiritual, but also likes the nice things in life. I have a feeling she would also have a difficulty in deciding between a comfortable life style and the cong.