Hi KP138,
I recall the mental preparation for torture that we had to do. We were told to learn scriptures so we could recite them if we were in prison for a long time without access to the bible. We were told we might be tortured to give up the addresses of elders or other JW's. These were panic inducing fear tactics.
The more I have read on this site the more I understand why I believed what I did, why I reacted to certain things the way I did and why I felt certain things such as guilt. Simple techniques were used by the WTS in it's publications, at meetings and which were reinforced by our parents. It is a cult that demands lifelong obedience and prevents your exit.
Now I understand so many of the teachings are not true, are a sham and prophecies will not happen, the fear from the WTS diminishes. Fear of their message of doom, fear of words like apostate. It takes time though.
I am very sorry you have lost your father. That he fell foul of this ridiculous belief system and that you have been so affected by your upbringing.
College is a really positive move. You have the benefit of recognising what mistakes your parents made and are already taking a different course.
Welcome
mmxiv
