When You First Saw This Place What Was Your Reaction?

by minimus 57 Replies latest jw friends

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  factfinder

  Longhairgal-

  I feel much like you did.

  At first I saw too much negativity ( believe me, I am way negative enough as it is!) and petty complaints. But the more often I came back here and read more and more posts...yes, I saw others felt like I did.

  Things have been made much clearer to me and continue to be. But it was/is very dissapointing finding out that my long held future hopes ( everlassting life in the paradise earth, being healed, etc) were nothing more than a made up story and now I even have doubts about seeing my parents again in the ressurection.

  I find much of what people post here very helpful. I tried to register for a long time but never got accepted. Finally I decided to change my password and username and got accepted! I did not realize everything must be in English , I was using passwords in another language!

  I still feel guilty a bit though. I never formally left JW's- just stopped 5 years ago. But I'm glad this helpful site exists and that I found it!
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  Aussie Oz

  I was freaked out!

  i was a JW apologist for 12 years even though i was d/f and was never going back.

  i first found the site when trying to find out if the elders would possibly be supportive of my ex wifes efforts to alienate me from my kids.

  there was so much information i overloaded and then did weeks and weeks of independant research to prove or disprove the stuff i read here.

  The different personalities and sometimes angry rants and mud slinging didnt even register... i was and still am far more interested in cold hard facts over personalities!

  oz
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  lisavegas420

  I remember back in the day..when I first came here.

  I would get little beads of sweat and would feel dizzy and a little sick.

  I got up in the middle of the night and logged in while everyone else slept.

  I felt fear and guilt. Thankfully both passed rather quickly.

  lisa
• 

  cameo-d

  I was suprised that JWs would use bad words. I saw bad language a few times that really put me off at first. Now I even use it once in a while! Yes, apostates are bad influence!!!

  I was concerned about elder thugs that might be seaching people out. But then I read more and became confident in my own knowledge of how things worked, I realized that I could take a tiger by the tail. Doesn't concern me anymore. I can deal with whatever anybody wants to attempt to throw at me.

  It opened my eyes about a lot of things. I didn't know much about JWs. I had some friends who were JW and ventured here thinking it would give me some insight on why they believe some of the stuff they do. I had glanced over some of the mags and thought them pretty benign. That was until I began to scrutinize from things published here about how WT slips in little twists of their own.

  I had been to Hall a couple of times and thought it was so very odd the way they made adults raise their hands like third graders and referred to cleaning chores as "priveliges". Also, someone "getting" to write the names on materials to be passed out thought it was a really special thing to be chosen. It just seemed so juvenile to me. But then, I began to see that WT takes advantage of those who have less education or are new in this country and they seem to capitalize on minority groups for their slaves.
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  fokyc

  I just couldn't believe I had found people in a similar situation to myself.

  All the doubts I had about JW's were confirmed the first day on here.
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  carla

  As an outsider just begining to research the cult I was sickened, dismayed, freaked out, depressed, panic-stricken, appalled, angry, sad for all the ex jw's and their stories and sad for what was to be the begining of my own and my families. Did I say I was sick? truly, I was. Coming here was like passing a train wreck where you know you shouldn't look but still you do. Invading such tragedy and often despair. Outsiders have no clue!

  But then, I came to understand what courage all the ex jw's really have! I even began to have a small hope that someday even my jw may find his way out. Still waiting but so are many of you for your loved ones and so we share that.

  The negativity never bothered me because I completely understood the anger. It is what I consider righteous anger. It is the reasons behind the anger and disgust with the org, loss of family, abuses, etc... What normal person wouldn't be angry?

  And later still I came to appreciate the sense of humor here! at first you think 'that is no laughing matter what is wrong with these people?' but after time you understand that too and laugh along as well. At times all you can do is laugh because there are no more tears left. And face it, some of the jw stuff is so damn ridiculous you can't help but to laugh.

  To me it seems there is a cycle one goes through either when leaving or first learning about this cult and all need to take the time needed to go through the phases of anger, sadness, and so forth. I think most mellow out after a while being able to discuss with others who have been through the same or similar things. Heck, just having someone who understand this crazy ass religion and all its silent & printed rules is huge! Cheers to all of you! my thanks as always, carla
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  Hiding Questioner

  First thought, I am amazed at the huge number of hurt people and this site confirms my worst fears about "my" religion.

  Like others have said, I felt it was all my fault for my anti-WT feelings and that I was all alone with them. I felt that somehow I was a bad person and unworthy, even though I wanted so badly to worship a loving God. This site helped me understand that I am not alone and that there are many as trapped as I am. The ability to "connect the dots", experience freedom and tell the GB to "kiss my ass", all the while being a practicing JW "in good standing" is refreshing to say the least.

  Thanks to all of you for helping me cope with my new found reality. (Such as suggesting I read CoC, which I did and have all of you and Ray to thank for such enlightenment.)

  HQ
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  minimus

  No wonder the Organization tries to demonize the internet like they do!

  This place is good!!!!!