(sighs) i kinda have a problem...>.<

by BlackTwisted 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • BlackTwisted
    BlackTwisted

    Hey guys, well, idk where to turn to at this point, but i feel like pouring my heart out to a random people, so please hear me out.

    okay, so i have been online dating, for um, about a year or two, i am 15, and i am not sure if any of you have heard the "sixth sense" i have that, and i feel i can trust this dude, so i am SURE he is who he says he is, i don't have any bad vibes about him...except he's an athiest :( but other than that, he is a really nice guy, we have started dating this month. yes, we have cybering, but not much, and NO, we dont send any explicit pics and we're both virgins. and how's he is a nice guy, what i meant is, i told him about JWs, surprsingly, he doesn't seem to mind my religion. which is good, you don't see wordly guys who doesn't mind these days lol. so he lets me do my religion by my own free will. which i am satisfied with the fact he doesn't bash on me over it ^_^ so we have been dating for two weeks, we talk about everything, which is also great cause honestly, guys i have dated before him all talked about sex, so i broke it off with them. but he seems he is the perfect one ^_^.

    Yes, i know we haven't met...yet. but i am planning to when i am old enough to move out and get my own apartment and be away from my mom...lmaoz xD.

    good traits of him:

    he isn't controlling.

    he is very nice

    he accepts me for who i am, and likes me for my insides, not for my looks.

    he treats everyone nice.

    and he respects people's opinions, open-minded,and honest.

    bad-traits:

    just that he doesn't belive in god, he's an athiest, which my mom wouldn't be too keen with it, but other than that, i think she wouldn't mind him.

    um...now, where was the part, oh yeah, here's the problem...i know we're not allowed to be dating...atleast while you're a teen anyways >.<

    and, well, we haven't did anything bad, considering this is an online realtionship, but even though is is a virtual realtionship, i still consider him as my RL boyfriend, considering i am home-schooled and there aren't any boys nearby in my neighborhood, cheating on my part, is very low. :P

    and i believe he is a very loyal guy. and plus, most of his friends happen to be guys, they play games and stuff :P so i know he wouldn't cheat, my sixth sense tells me that.

    yes, i post these things so you could help me...could he be the one for me?

    note: personally, i feel that religion shouldn't matter if you are in love and love the person, my nana showed me that example, she's a JW and her husband is a christian, or muslim, i forgot which religion he is, but they have been married for 20 years and maybe even a bit longer than that, and their marriage seems to be great, sure they have their ups and downs, but what marriage doesn't?

    but i guess this is out of the things i said..but..here's the other question..will the elders ask if you're dating???? O_O lolz i know a silly question, i just always wondered that xDDD

    EDIT: i meant i was on a chat site!!! not a dating site like eharmony!!! goodness *facepalm* i could never be on a site...looking for old people to date. unless i am old of course, but i wasn't using those kinds of websites, most of you got it all wrong, dated him off of a chat site, yes,like habbo and imvu.avatar sites. dating sites, like match.com and beaurtifulpeople.com,etc. no. i just want that out the way. like i would loike to pretend that i am 20. so i am careful :P

  • BlackTwisted
    BlackTwisted

    oh, and please tell me how was your experience while dating in teens or while you was past "the bloom of youth" :3 this was a another reason why i started this topic :3

    i would love to hear experiences, and it could help me with my decisions that i may have to make in my life later on in the future ^_^

  • cameo-d
    cameo-d

    How long before you will need to convince him that he has to be a JW so you two can continue dating?

    What if he decides not to conform?

    When the elders tell you you have to break it off or get DF'd what will you do?

  • myelaine
    myelaine

    dear Black Twisted...

    perhaps you can/should talk to your nana about this?...or your mom?

    love michelle

  • yknot
    yknot

    oh bless your heart!

    Who you are now and who he is now isn't completely who yall will be after college......

    I know we all do the picket fence and happily ever after in our heads (well into adulthood!)

    Right now it has only been a few weeks, take things one day at a time and realize that a man/boy isn't the best way out of your mom's house (higher education is!)

    If things work out between yall great! If they don't...discern what you valued about him/relationship and what you can learn about yourself before the next relationship.

    You said you were homeschool....my ask how long? The only reason I ask is because studies show that at 14 on up you need to be more socially active with your peers via homeschooler network meetups, extra activities are attending a brick/mortar school. I love homeschooling but there are somethings I and your mama can't teach.

    Keep your principles, know you are beautiful and destined for great things........just don't let the slow drag of time distract you!

  • BlackTwisted
    BlackTwisted

    @cameo-d: i am not a JW....but i am studying to be one.

    @myelaine: um..i dont know my nana's number...so i cant atm xD and my mom..well, she isn't too strict on dating. so idk

    @Yknot: i have been home-schooled for about 2-3 years. nad thanks, i know it isn't by a guy...m,y mom told me even when i was 5 to be independent! :D and i will keep my morals of course, i am NOT giving up my goodies until i am married :P lol. also, i will take your advice and take a day at a time, it's the best thing to do at the moment, but i still can't get this heavy-weight feeling out of my heart...it almost makes me want to cry at the moment :( and i dont like to cry >.<

  • yknot
    yknot

    Dating experiences.....

    What I learned....

    Boys are highly immature, they too are learning to navigate social relationships beyond 'friends'....

    They 'test' out their leading ability on us girls and we get all dreamy about them....

    Us girls we have to be careful because they also learn to lie and use lines at this age...

    They are masters at 'faking and fronting' maturity and wisdom.......

    But again let me reiterate........they are highly immature!

    There hormones are surging more then ours ......so you must be the one to say ....stop and draw clear lines and boundaries

    Boys now and for the rest of their lives need to 'earn' things.......

    General in person dating rules...... first kiss after 3 full-on dates (not meetups!)--- or more....but nothing less then 3 or he will think you are easy (guys are immature and stupid at this age!), simple kissing until 6 months and then maybe I reiterate maybe french kissing...... he needs to prove himself worthy of you by showing his committment.

    Above all don't rush into things....... allow yourself space to fully develop versus molding yourself to his desires......

    oh and BOYS ARE HIGHLY IMMATURE!

    (I agree you do need to talk to your mom...... you are in a delicate blooming period and all girls at this age need guidance and protection from their parents)

  • WingCommander
    WingCommander

    Hahahahahahah! I'm piss drunk, but this is the most fucked up post I've read ina while. So you're an active Jw, asking questions on an obvious apostate site, and you think people are gonna be sympathetic??

    First off, you sound like like a DUDE, so are you a homo or what?? If so, ya better sign up for BetHELL because that's where all the goody-goody home guys go!!!!!

    If you're not a DUDE, then you'd better fess up to being butch, cause yuo sound like a freaking DUDE, either way (homo or lesbian) you'd better come clean and leav eht religionk, cajuse you are FUUUUUGGGGGEED!!!!

    Oh....oh....llook at me......I'm cyber -textig, but I don't even know that he other person looks like!! Ooooohhh...Jizzzzzzzzzz in my pants!!!!!

    Get a life dude or dudette, and grow a set. (if you can!!!) Thanks for the laugh though, I needed it.

    LOL!!!
    - Wing Commander

  • yknot
    yknot

    Final advice.....

    Don't get baptized until after college...

    Jesus set a fine example! He was 29 and way past the bloom of his youth....

    I know all the kids get pressured to get dunked but there is a strong legalistic binding to our baptisms.

    If 'god forbid' something goes wrong you don't want to end up losing your mom and social structure on your 18th birthday like my sister did- elders thought she had sex--- worldly boys confirmed she didn't but the PO wanted a DFing and she was axed and kicked out of the house our senior year!

    Her life was ruined and recovery has taken almost 20 years because she felt Jehovah hated her for having 'impure thoughts' (she wanted a boy who wasn't interested in her to kiss her)

    Hugs

  • BlackTwisted
    BlackTwisted

    @Yknot: that's good advice..but we are dating online, we haven't met...yet. but i am planning when i get older and more..um..what's the word..more...financed. (i think that's the word) i mean, it's not llike i am gonna just jump out of my house and go to his,(which is impossible at my age to do anyways.) so i will wait until i am financed to meet him. and i wil ltalk to my mom about this matter.

    may you please also help me why this weight is off of my heart and it keeps returning to me???i mean, everytime i confewss something, it makes my guilt lighter and i feel better telling it than just hiding it from everyone. O_O and plus..can you tell me how to change my pro pic? i know, i ask too many questions.....

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