Hi!! New Here and need to express some feelings (page 2)

thenoblelodge

Hi and welcome.

Do the research and find out for yourself about the history of WTBTS. When I left I didn't think I would ever celebrate any holiday...but I do now. I have a strong faith in both God and His Son and I know as long as I do everything with love then it's fine.

You have been made to feel guilty over everything you do or have done, please don't let anyone make you feel that way. Your family love you and only want the best for you ......it's just not what you want so don't feel guilty.

Live your life to the full, enjoy it and let your children enjoy their life too. Your going to be fine.

OnTheWayOut

...born and raised in the "truth".

When you remember to put quotes around it, you are well on your way to putting it behind you.

Now when I reached high school I felt like an outsider.

That's Watchtower's goal- to make you an outsider to "the world" and make you turn to "them."

And now my 23 yr. old brother is shacking up with his girlfriend and doesn't care what anyone thinks or says about it, he does what he wants. My 17 yr. old brother comes and goes as he pleases, has tons of friends, has girlfriends my parents actually know about, and got expelled from school for weed. But things were different for them because my parents got divorced about 6 yrs. ago.

If I have it right, they were also never baptized. It's a magic standard-setter. It's not automatic in all families, but the baptized one has to live up to the event and the unbaptized ones are accepted no matter what they do.

For a long while now I have wanted to research on my own the origins of the organization but felt scared and guilty for wanting to look outside of the information the society gives us.

Just like your mother, you have been "programmed" to fear Jehovah's/Watchtower's wrath if you dare to question/investigate.

I don't know how or even if I should say how I feel to my family because I know what they will say, especially my grandmothers who have been JW's for many years and everytime I talk to them make me feel guilty for not going to the meetings with my kids.

You are in a tough spot. You have to let your kids be "normal." You have to. No question about it. It would be nice to slowly introduce the idea to your family, but kids cannot be counted on to withhold such information from them. I mean, they are excited about holidays and birthdays (as they should be) and they want to share that excitement with Grandma or Great Grandma. What you decide depends on you and what you think of telling them and what will happen. You could try asking the kids to keep it secret, explaining why it needs to be secret. Perhaps some people with kids will explain how they dealt with this to you. But if it all hits the fan, still do what's best for your kids. You know what it meant to miss out when you grew up.

I am going to give the standard advice to deal with your own feelings: read some book and educate yourself. The following seem to help a person: Raymond Franz' two books, CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE and IN SEARCH OF CHRISTIAN FREEDOM. Steve Hassan's cult books: COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL and RELEASING THE BONDS; EMPOWERING PEOPLE TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES.

fokyc

Welcome! Just dump ALL those feelings of guilt, they don't belong to you!

Joliette

Wow, it feels like I'm reading my life story. Only difference with me is that I'm single, but we were both born in 1983.

Your story was great. Look for a PM in your mailbox .

scarredforlife

Knb183, My childhood and teen years were very much like yours. Many similarities. I agree with the above poster. Dump the guilt that has been indoctrinated into you since birth. All the books that have been recommended are excellent. The more you read these books the more you will fully realize that the "truth" is all a lie.

VoidEater

Welcome.

Healing, and growing, is an individual process. Let things happen naturally, as they feel right, and you'll get where you need to be.

There's a whole world out here - you'll like parts of it, and choose to stay away from some parts.

That's OK.

There's lots of us here to tell you the water is fine.

quietlyleaving

Hiya knb

we're all in this with you.

ql

Wasanelder Once

Knowledge is freedom. Do research, learn and your guilt will turn to sympathy for your family being caught up in the lie of JW. How nice it would have been to celebrate my friends birthdays when I was a kid. Let your kids be part of the "world". Stop marching mentally to the voice of the gang at Brooklyn. Welcome.

littlebird

Welcome knb,

The only real regrets I have in life is raising my 2 sons as jws, the pain it eventually caused, I will always live with.

With regard to the holidays, this is what I go by:

Romans 14:5-12 (New International Version)

5 One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. 8 If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

9 For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 10 You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. 11 It is written:
" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,
'every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.' " [a] 12 So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

Let your children enjoy their childhood.

zoiks

Welcome! Thanks for sharing your story.

Hi!! New Here and need to express some feelings

Romans 14:5-12 (New International Version)

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