Is it okay to be antisocial?

by AwSnap 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • AwSnap
    AwSnap

    I'm sorry Gregor. I can see how that would be a problem.

    I don't think its a huge deal between me and my husband, but I'm sure its a little deal. I never enter a party and act like I'm better than anyone...I absolutely, 100%, do not think I'm better than anyone. I think everyone should have a ton of confidence because they're all awesome in their own ways. Ok, I sound like that dude from SNL. But anyway, its true. So if I start talking to someone whom I know we wont have a huge connection AND they show a lack of self confidence: I have a tough time wanting to hang out with them. I don't offer compliments unless its genuine.

    I remember at the meetings, they always used to talk about sincerity. "There's always a person who will ask you how you are, and they expect you to say 'fine'. But if you're not fine and you try to tell them, they walk on."

    Well, I'm that person. If I'm in a tiny group with a limited amount of people that I feel connected to, then its okay to talk about real stuff (and I listen intently with a big heart). There's a time and a place for everything. I don't like big crowds, and I dont like people in big crowds who talk about drama.

    I am very sincere, unless I'm in a big crowd. And thats why I dont like big crowds. lol. I hate to be fake and chitty chatty.

    Now, enjoy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1MY7KURim0

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    I love you, Farkel!

  • AwSnap
    AwSnap

    lol...yep, my close friends are wonderful. They allow me to be antisocial around them and yet we're still friends.

    I like that the personality test said I'm like Buddha too.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Omgosh! That's me all over!

    And I like to observe when I'm with my friends too. I tend to pick friends who are more outgoing than me, I'm not very good with quiet folks.

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    Ok, I sound like that dude from SNL.

    He has his own thread going on JWN right now: Link

    Six, maybe I'll introduce you too when you come out to visit....yes, she was kinda cute, though not my type.

    I like that the personality test said I'm like Buddha too.

    Also Ted Kaczynski, Timothy McVeigh, and Peter Gabriel. Ya got yer Boom Boom Boom right there, lol.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Well, yeah "Sledgehammer" is one of my favorite songs.

  • AwSnap
  • Quando
    Quando

    It sounds like abandonment issues and your just putting up your wall, and since you tend to be introverted these two feelings kicked in at the moment.

    I understand the Introvert, I am just as happy as can be entertaining myself, but your hubby is right you do need to give people a chance.

    Abandoned

    1. Unbounded enthusiasm; exuberance
    2. A complete surrender of inhibitions
    3. Deserted, forsaken
    4. To give up by leaving or ceasing to operate or inhabit, especially as a result of danger or other impending threat

    Your sister is shunning you, she has abandoned you, I think it is a natural reaction for you to automatically put a wall up and if you agree with this then your level of awareness has just increased and your now equipped with "WHY" you do this.

    If you take yourself out of the equation, think of how the guy and girl felt about you shunning them for drinks.

    All the best!

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    I understand the Introvert

    I don't think you do. I'm an introvert. When I am in a large crowd I'm uncomfortable especially if I dont know anyone. That's fear. It's not snobbery or aloofness though sometimes it may look like that. When I meet someone new I don't immediately warm up to that person though I am polite. I need time to determine if I like that person, I don't like to be pushed to like a person and overtly friendly people tend to unnerve me and make me suspicious. Being cautious around people is who I am. I've discovered that I am that way because of my upbringing (intrusive and overbearing mother and a distant father) it was a way I developed to survive and it became a part of me.

    Sometimes I do wish I was different, maybe to please folks who would tell me that it was wrong to be an introvert. But I like myself now, it's not bad to have a small circle of friends that I really like and who accepted me as I am, and it's not wrong to be selective when it comes to people who walk in and out of my life.

    It's all good.

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