My wife has asked me to tone it down

by JWinprotest 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • exwhyzee
  • exwhyzee
    Why can't they just tone it down?
    Why is it that they get to speak out gushing about the Soceity around people they know to not feel the same way, yet have the audacity to get angry when you speak your mind as well.

    Have you forgotten ?? They are God's chosen ones. Everything they do, say, think or believe is of Universal significance. This is their world and the billions of the rest of us are along for the ride....temporarily.

  • cyberjesus

    I agree with Stanne first comment and exwhyzee's

  • Consfearacy

    A good salesman doesn't strictly downgrade his competition when promoting a product. It's important to stimulate the interest of others in whatever you're selling.

    Would you buy a car from a car salesman who only told you how bad his competitor's car was, instead of telling you about all of the features of the car he was trying to sell you?

    Interestingly enough, you're not selling anything, you're just downgrading something you are at odds with. That's a sure path to mental ruin. Most people of any value pursue a certain course of action because they find it enlightening. By taking a stand of protest you're are displaying self-destructive anger to others. If all you have to sell at family gatherings is mental ruin, well, they won't be interested. If you were in my family, you wouldn't be invited to family gatherings. In fact, you would be uninvited.

  • wasblind

    Excuse me,

    JW's talk bad about other religions all of the time, while promoting theirs

    there you go talking out the side of your neck once again

    especially while the conduct a Bible study.

  • wasblind

    You say your not Alice, but your post state otherwise.

  • Hope4Others

    I think you need to do it slowly, my hubby does the same thing. Eventually they will not discuss anything...

    Slow and Easy wins the race...

  • exwhyzee
    Would you buy a car from a salesman who only told you how bad his competors cars were.

    Since you asked....I might buy a car from him, if I happened to be shopping for cars and his was one I wanted...but I'm sure if he brought up the subject of how wonderful his cars are, at every family gathering, I'd be pretty sick of it....especially if I knew a thing or two about the cars he was selling. I might be relieved if one of the family members pointed out to him that there are some serious problems with his cars....especially if it shut him up.

  • AGuest

    Greetings dear JWIP (and peace to you!). You ask:

    should I let things go

    Dear NVL's question notwithstanding (because it is one you may have to take into consideration)... the truth is that it depends on the host/hostess and other attendant guests.

    If you are the host[ess], it depends on how hospitable you (and/or your spouse) wish or intend to be, as well as how comfortable you wish your guests to be. If everyone except you is a JW, you might want to broach the subject carefully (if indeed you do it at all). If it's mixed company, then so long as everyone knows ahead of time that "others" might be there it is up to them, individually, to field or bow out of whatever discussions may come up.

    If you are attending a non-JW gathering, and the subject of the WTBTS comes up... by you or someone else, including an attending JW... and your host[ess] has absolutely NO problem with the subject being discussed... then it's a fair topic, so long as everyone involved can "handle" it. If not, then, for the sake of your host[ess], the RIGHT thing to do is tone it down and either change the subject or suggest if be done elsewhere at another time. Even if the person who can't handle it insists they can (but it's obvious they can't).

    If you are attending a JW gathering (i.e., the host[ess] is JW and/or the majority of the guests are), then it would be in absolute poor taste, rude, even unloving, to even bring up your position regarding the WTBTS... if it is negative... unless you are outright asked and your host[ess] really wants to know your opinion/position (i.e., they are not expecting a canned WTBTS response, but the real truth). Otherwise, it is best to keep one's opinion, belief, understanding, knowledge, what have you, regarding their "god"... to oneself.

    I offer these "dependents" because you ask:

    my rants are always instigated by someone overly praising the Society and the organization and how lucky they are to be a part of it, and it just does not sit well with me.

    First, dear one, no one can provoke a rant from you... unless you allow it. Second, people tend to invite people to their homes with whom they feel SAFE... about themselves AND their beliefs. And attacking one's beliefs or that of their household and/or their guests... in their home... and when they are not expecting... it is unkind. It is a form of ambush, which is unloving. It would be like relegating on the Pope while having dinner at your Catholic BIL's house, or Buddah at your boss' house, or Vishnu at your neighbors' house. True, none of these will probably throw out how "wonderful" their god, belief, church, sermon was, but you never know. The discussion can and should wait until it can be done outside of "mixed" company, if it can be held at all.

    You also asked:

    and keep peace...

    To which I would say that you should always be the one to keep the peace, so long as it remains with you to do so. Otherwise, how are you different from them?

    or do you think I should still throw the jabs every chance I get, in hopes that I can open the eyes of a loved one.

    Throwing jabs won't open anyone's eyes. Jabs aren't designed to open eyes... but close them. And quite brutally so. If you want to open anyone's eyes, you need to it kindly, lovingly, and where no "bruising" results. Otherwise, you're merely inviting such others to "fight" and so they will oppose you, not listen to you. If they are, as you say, a "loved" one... then RESPECT them, no matter how "stoopid" their beliefs or misled you believe them to be. And if you really want to help them, then talk to them privately... if and when the subject comes up (and, yes, you can bring it up - "So, FIL, the other night I heard you saying such and so, and I thought...") so that they are not put on the spot, with their own possible doubts "outed" right there in front of others. Because if you back an animal into a corner, even a human one, it has no choice but to come out fighting, or perhaps die. "Survival" says fight... and usually both "animals" end up with some wounds.

    What I'm trying to say, dear JWIP, is that THEIR rude, unkind, and unloving manners shouldn't be an excuse for OURS.

    Again, I bid you peace!

    YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,


  • Gregor

    Everything that has been said was covered in my post on page one. I like brevity.

    Post 5616 of 5619
    Since 12/12/2005

    I agree with leaving. Don't give away your position too boldly unless you are ready to follow through. If you think it is hard to bite your tongue over remarks made in general conversation think how it will go if a couple of elders start putting you in a corner because you have roused suspicion. You will either get yourself DF'd or you will suck their d--ks.

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