by XPeterX 36 Replies latest jw friends
I've seen it with a MS but not an elder.
What I find it hard to fathom, though, is how someone could be DFd and still WANT to get reinstated. When I quit my responsibilities and then the meetings shortly thereafter the relief was so gratifying that even if I still believed I don't think I'd have ever wanted to return to the grind of being a Dub.
This is a horrible situation for the innocent in the marriage. Sure puts to the test the trust in Jehovah.
Wow. I personally hope these two do not get reinstated for a long, long, long time, and that family and all really show them the non-treatment disfellowshipped people should get.
Sincerely sorry to hear about this.
DY
I've seen this happen twice in my life with elders leaving their wives for another woman. They both had connections (bringing to mind the politics of WT Land) and both of them were quickly reinstated and are currently active. Their wives were spurned and eventually left the org due to the unloving treatment by the congregation and elder bodies.
What a religion. The schmucks are worshipped and the downtrodden are swept aside and labelled as "bitter".
if a witness goes after a worldly woman the congregation goes out of their way to help the new couple and study with the younger woman and bring her in the "truth" all the while the innocent mate and family gets sidelined.
there's a famous boxer named Paulie Malignaggi.
his mother has sex with elder, elder divorced his wife for her.
they had:
2 children from elders first family
2 children, paulie included from mother
and 2 new children between their newfound love.
ex-elder's original children hate him and never wanna talk to him again.
anyway in the spirit of the thread ex-elder dad and new wife got re-instated and are JWs
Freeatlast
You are so right that the downtrodden are labelled as bitter and how can we not be. I am very bitter at all the lost years of my life that were taken from me. But then we are called bitter. You will never win in this horrible religion.
Several years ago, 1998 or 1999, a married elder at my mother's KH named [edited] had an affair with my brother's wife, [edited]. They eventually both divorced their spouses, were DF'd, got married, and were then reinstated. Then they moved to AZ were nobody knew either of them. Don't know if [the man involved] has been reappointed as an elder or not but I wouldn't be surprised.
Here's the kicker: [The woman involved] was a pioneer. She was having some problems so she went to [the Elder involved] for counseling, since he was one of her elders. All of this started during their counseling sessions, which took place in his home while his wife was there! [The elder] just told his poor wife that they needed privacy, he was giving her counseling. Sick, twisted situation.
And this ruined my brother's life, [the elder]'s ex's wife's life, and the lives of their three combined children. I mean ruined them. I doubt any of the kids will ever be productive members of society. One of my nephews is so lost in meth and cocaine that he's unrecognizable, the other is deep into gangs in the Phoenix schools. A really sad mess.
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STAnn that is so sad, but I can so see it totally happening. What a sad story.
I've seen this happen with an Elder in a neighboring congregation. The funny thing about it was while he was still an Elder, and I was a teenager, he gave me some advice. I was at a quick build, and there was plenty of young people with raging hormones. Myself and another unbaptized gal started hitting it off. I guess it was somewhat noticeable to others there. We were both too young to consider "dating with a view to marriage." At that time I can truly say I loved her. Maybe puppy love more than anything, but I enjoyed her company, and it was more than hormones at play. Anyways this Elder decides to pull me aside discreetly, and tells me, "Bro.Misery watch yourself around these girls. I'm not telling you what to do, but be careful around them, because things can happen." My memory might be slightly off on his exact words, but its close enough. Now here's where it gets interesting. This Elder was married, wife a full time pioneer. The girl that I had a crush on was unbaptized, as was her brother at the time. Their mother was a widow, and baptized. So this Elder would go to their house, by himself mind you, and "study" with this widow's son and daughter. I guess he saw himself as helping out spiritually. Whatever good he saw himself as doing, he never the less should have taken his own advice that he gave me. Because eventually he had an affair with the widow. Left his wife, got disfellowshipped as so did the widow. The ex-wife was devastated, I mean very devastated. Eventually she got involved with a nonJW and had a kid. She wasn't married, and I guess her attitude relfected that of someone scorned, and not that of repentance. Well, she got DF'd too.
All are now reinstated, and the newly married couple attend a hall clear across town where nobody knows the details of how they got married with the exception of the Elder Body. You and I know there are plenty of Elders who can't keep their mouths shut, so chances are some in that hall may know the extenuating circumstances. The ex-wife with her son attend another hall closer in proximity to the hall in which this all happened. I guess she feels comfortable there being that everyone knows what happened, and view her more as the victim than anything. The girl that I had a crush on back then no longer attends meetings, and was never baptized. Her brother who is a very kind man, eventually got baptized, and then his wife got DF'd and left him. Now he no longer attends meetings. It was all just one screwed up state of affairs that I wish had never happened, nor knew about. When I hear sactimonous, self righteous JWs say, "only Jehovah's people!" I nod in agreement, then I wink my eye at the wall and keep steppin.
I see both sides. What is a JW suppose to do if they are unhappy not allowed to rationally discuss it with the spouse, maybe go for some counselling, if worse comes to worse move out be separated, get a divorce and try to hurt people as little as possible. They have no choice but to go out with a bang. The aftermath is more devastating than for the average couple. They guilty party will never live it down and the innocent mate has to sit there and take it or they are quickly the bad one, they may get some help from the congregation but only if they are there at every meeting. Also people have such a hunger for the juicy details that they ask the kids ( lived that). Bad situation. NMKA
