How brainwashed were you before you discovered the truth about the "truth"?

by asilentone 45 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sapphy
    Sapphy

    100%, born in. True believer.

  • Fractured~Mind
    Fractured~Mind

    I was born in the truth...left when I was 16...had a baby at 20, re-studied at 22 baptised at 23...because I felt I was killing my own child. I was disfellowshipped at 27. I never once in my entire association with the witness's ever remember feeling anything but negative emotions. I never felt acceptance, I never felt love, I never felt joy, Sadly I don't think Ive found any of those things out of the organisation either. I wish everyday that everything I feel and have been taught could be erased from my memory so I can start anew...and really find out where the truth really lies in this world.

    So have I been brainwashed??? who knows ...but I am incredably Fucked up!!!!!

  • RosePetal
    RosePetal

    This is a difficult one because I know I was brainwashed about so many things and believed it to be true. I had a firm belief in God but there were so many things that did not sit right. Although I was a born in there were many problems in my family, nothing was straightforward I did allow myself to be controlled about many things by my family and the org.

    But as I grew older I went through differents stages of uba zealousness but that was partly because I was constantly having health problems and told I wasn't faithful enough, not doing enough. Having health problelms of any kind was no excuse for missing meetings and not keeping up, everyone else was carrying me etc. ect.

    So when my health improved I would go over the top and overdo it just so that people would stop marking me and avoiding me. I remember a sister saying to me 'you've got to earn your salvation you know there's no sitting back in 'Jehovahs organisation'. When it was pointed out to an elder that he was avoiding us he said ' You have to earn me and my family's friendship.

    I remember saying to my sister one day how can you earn salvation when the bible says it is a gift from god this just does not sit right with me. The look of 'shock horror' on her face I had stepped outside the box and was thinking for myself. I was still always kicking against the goad as the org. likes to put it. and every now and again I would mention something I was not happy about to my family.

    Years ago when I was still quite young I will never forget the advice from a sister who claimed to be of the anointed she said that if it looked like the org was going against the teachings of Jesus Christ and his heavenly father, that it is God we look to and not man. It is not religion but our relationship with God that is important. She was one of the most zealous witnesses I had ever met and I never forgot her wise words.

    RosePetal

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    I was 100% Did not openly question anything but I now know that all my life it never did make sense, I just keep it all inside and never voiced it even truly to myself. I so regret that.

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    Oh yes Rosepetal,

    I was told so many times that i had to earn my salvation,

    I was brainwashed enough that i would not leave the house

    without my Reasoning from the Scriptures book, Now when

    i read that book and compare it with other literature put out

    by the watchtower, all i can do is just shake my head.

  • designs
    designs

    Knew something was fishy in the late 60s when the Aid Book and the Watchtower/Awake had different time lines on the Creation stories. But the family was gunho, after my parents passed I began the exit in ernest.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Yes I was 100% also.

    I thought I was in "the truth" so made 10 others believe me,for which

    I am truly sorry....Thank GOD they kicked me out....Over 1914.

    Now I have my OWN truth.... Which to me is LOVE!!!! (THE GOD OF LOVE!)

    Whom to me is JESUS!!!! No rocks please

  • RosePetal
    RosePetal

    Amen to that mouthy [Grace]

    RosePetal

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    Welcome to the board, Fractured-Mind. Oh well we all are about on the same boat.

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Welcome, Fractured-Mind.

    You said:I never once in my entire association with the witness's ever remember feeling anything but negative emotions. I never felt acceptance, I never felt love, I never felt joy, Sadly I don't think Ive found any of those things out of the organisation either.

    Sadly, that has been the experience of many. Guilt and fear of not being good enough or doing enough were instilled in us constantly at the KHall.

    Now that you are "out" you are in control. Did you complete your education? It can do wonders for your self-esteem and confidence. It does not matter what age you are, you can do it!

    Second, a wise poster once said, "Better to have questions I can't answer, than answers I can't question." We may never find out "where truth lies in this world." No one, it seems, really is "a channel of truth from God" such as the Watchtower organization claims.

    Please take time to step back, look at a beautiful sunset or sunrise, and enjoy your day with your child.

    Please feel acceptance on our forum!

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