Older man marries younger woman, yes; younger man marries older woman?

by dgp 40 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jamiebowers

    The most common reason for odd couplings is the "marry only in the Lord" requirement.

  • highdose

    In my life in the borg i have only seen it happen that way around once. Seen plenty of older guys marry much younger women but only one older woman marry a much younger guy.

    In this case the woman was a single mother of 5 delinquent children, the guy was a former study that she helped into the borg, and he was also a loner, social misfit type who even in the world had never had a girlfreind. There were lots of catty comments made about this match by all in the congregation, but they stayed togther and good luck to them!

  • freydo

    What about the best birth control for women over 50?


  • lisavegas420

    My husband is 18 years older. Next week we will celebrate our 17 years if marriage. We lived together for 18 months before we married.

    He helped me raise my children, he's Papa to my grandchildren. Great husband and friend. Our relationship has changed over the years.

    I'm planning on many many more years together. Can't imagine being happier with anyone else. Sometimes it just works out.


  • Alligator Wisdom
    Alligator Wisdom

    A few years ago I knew of an elder in his 50's who married a pioneer sister in her 70's. They ended up taking care of her 95 year old mother.

    Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)

  • Soldier77

    Half your age + 7 is a good way to figure out what is your personal range. I'm 33, so roughly, someone 23 would be the lowest I could go without raising too much eyebrows...

    Don't ask where I got that from, I've heard several friends in different areas use it. lol

  • Scott77

    Some people who are older, looks young while those that are young, may look older. I have seen it. While in college, I recall seeing a young woman who was 19 years old yet she looked like 35. Some people ages faster than others. I think, this is a good factor also to take into consideration.

  • dgp

    Just to respond to some people's comments, I think BizzyBee hit the nail on the head about what I wanted to know:

    Quite simply, aside from other consideratios, Jehovah's Witnesses must choose from a very small pool, which leads to odd couplings age-wise. This is further exacerbated by the fact that JW's think Armageddon is around the corner and that marriage is not necessarily til old age and natural death.

    Of course I agree that people of varying ages can actually love each other and not marry just because of considerations of other types. I have absolutely no problem with marriages in which the man is younger than the woman. That happens "in the world", and, where I live, some particular circumstances have made it much more common than people like to think. I wanted to know whether the fact that you have to marry "only in the Lord" was taken to mean that man (whatever his age) marries woman (whatever her age), and not simply that OLDER MAN (whatever his age) marries (very young) WOMAN. If this principle is taken to mean "Man, you get to marry chicks", then it is perverted. Some of you don't know this, but I'm a worldly and I need to ask questions that might seem stupid (sometimes they are), but I lack the basic knowledge you guys can take for granted.

    I believe that the old man who remained single until, say, his forties, and marries a young girl in the congregation, say, in her early twenties, is not simply finding young flesh. He is to marry and he follows the idea that younger flesh is best (which is not the case). I would believe the same about the older woman who enjoyed "the gift of singleness" and married a younger brother. And then, from what I read, second wives or husbands are quite often due to the fact that the witnesses were not allowed to really get to know each other well.

    I'm aware that there can be other reasons for such marriages. Suppose Sister Very Hot marries Elder Very Old but Theocratic. Maybe they love each other, maybe he is marrying for the young flesh, maybe she is marrying for the perks... you get the picture. I wanted to sort of explore the dynamics of love and marriage within the WT. I believe that a lot of misery and problems arise from the requirement that you "marry only in the Lord". I believe that the sisters who marry out are perhaps doing the smart choice.

    By the way, this question of mine doesn't come out of thin air. I happen to have met a man, in his seventies, who was made an offer that he was supposed not to be able to refuse. This man made some good money and his wife divorced him at 69. The wife was a closet lesbian who thought she didn't have to hide her real sexuality now that she was old, and moved out with someone else. The man was shocked and tried to find "a spiritual answer", so he was approached by some witnesses, who managed to make him attend meetings, study with them, et cetera. He refused to go door to door, and that was why he got stuck in limbo. One of the elders in the congregation pointed out that Sister In Her Forties still looked good, but, er, she could marry only in the Lord. The man was a lifetime friend of ours and told us the story. He thought he was being offered a woman in exchange for baptism.

  • highdose

    oh the old " wife in exchange for baptisum" ploy! yes yes thats one of the JW's favorite tricks. " i think sister pretty hot likes you but you will only find out if you join our cult!"

    This btw is a topic for a whole other thread!

  • dgp

    Highdose (hi!), maybe you can start that other thread? I lack the information.

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