Three jw men in a SUV

by mrsjones5 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • ziddina

    "...I thought this was going to be an intro to a joke. ;-)) ..." (Dagney...)

    "We can make it a good joke. I will get it rolling and you finish it.

    Three JW men in an SUV are driving ..." (On the Way Out...)

    Keep in mind this is just HUMOR- Ar, Ar...!!!

    Three JW men, all wearing the requisite polyester suits and white shirts, looking like Wal-Mart versions of IBM executives, pulled up in an older, poorly-maintained SUV to work the local neighborhood...

    There's "Bob", who bobs his head in total agreement to all "noo lite" coming out of the WTBTS... Anything that the Gov.Bod says, Bob swallows like a goldfish gulping crumbs. There's "Matt", who never stands up for himself, no matter how many times the Watchtower Society asks for more money, or free labor on the local Kingdom Halls. And then there's "Randy", who tends to be a bit too 'close and personal, when counselling the sisters, and to peer down their blouses when they lean over...

    The first JW - "Bob" - goes to the first door. The householder turns out to be a Mormon, who engages Bob in a lively debate. The Mormon explains to Bob that when HE - the Mormon - dies, he's going to get his own planet to rule... Bob parrots the Governing Body's words at the householder, and walks away with a smug, superior look on his face.

    The second JW - "Matt" - goes to the second door. The householder turns out to be a Muslim, who tells Matt that he's not interested in any white infidel's religion, because HE'S going to have 72 virgins when HE dies... Matt walks away with a very downtrodden look on his face.

    The third JW - "Randy" - goes to the third door. The householder turns out to be a sexy Goddess worshipper, who is wearing a VERY low-cut blouse. Randy uses "Adam and Eve" in his presentation on "womanly submission", staring down her cleavage while he's espousing womanly modesty and compliance. She whispers into Randy's ear all the things that SHE'S allowed to do in the bedroom, and Randy turns as red as a beet. Randy declares her to be the "Whore of Babylon", then walks away with an arrogant, justified look of self-righteousness on his face.

    After their frustrating day in service, Bob, Matt and Randy decide to stop by the local pub for a wee nip. Three hours later, as they wobble out to the parking lot, there is an argument over who's sober enough to drive. Randy grabs the keys, settling the argument, and they all pile in. A few miles down the road, an elderly Southern Baptist lady driving home from a Billy Graham convention loses control of her vehicle, forcing the JWs' SUV into a skid.

    The SUV's worn tires blow out, rolling the SUV... All three JWs are killed, but their last thoughts are of their magnificent resurrection after Armageddon...

    When next they regain consciousness, they are standing at the Pearly Gates... "WHAT???" They exclaim in unison... "THIS isn't the way things are supposed to be???"

    They decide to go talk to the guy by the gate - could it be Saint Peter??? Bob steps up first, and asks about "Armageddon", the "144,000", and so on...

    Saint Peter laughs so hard he drops his pen. "Oh, my goddness, no!" he exclaims. He shakes his pen at Bob. "You're not going to make it in with THAT theology!!!"

    Desperate, Bob tries out the Mormon theology... Saint Peter laughs again and says, "What?? Do you really think you're going to get your OWN planet?? Get OVER yourself!" and Saint Peter shooes him towards the "DOWN" escalator...

    Matt goes next, and tries out the Muslim theology... Saint Peter looks at him with a sneer and says, "Haven't you heard? Polygamy is SO 'Old-Testament'...", and shooes him towards the "DOWN" escalator, also...

    Now it's Randy's turn.... He knows the Watchtower's theology is no good up here, so, feeling desperate, he tries the "Goddess" theology, though he gags at the thought of a mere 'female' in charge...

    Saint Peter looks at Randy and says, to Randy's eternal surprise, "Very good!! BUT! you still have to answer three questions!!!"

    Randy looks worried, but agrees to try...

    "First! If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman there to correct him, is he still wrong?"

    Randy gulped and replied, "yes..."

    "Very good!" beamed Saint Peter. "Next question. The three wise men looking for Jesus wandered until they found him. What would three wise women have done?"

    Randy thought for a moment and then said, much against his will... "Asked for directions?"

    "Excellent!" said Saint Peter. "Only one more question. Man was created first, then came woman. Does this mean that man is superior, or just the 'test' model?"

    Randy tried to overcome his gut-level, knee-jerk response, but the WTBTS' programming was too much for him. "Man is the head of every woman," he boomed, "just as the head of the organization is the Governing Bod - er, Jesus!"

    "Eeeeet! WronG!" Saint Peter smirked, as he pulled the "flush" cord.

    Later on, Saint Peter was discussing the incident.

    "They just can't figure it out, Your Eternal Wiseness," he said, bowing before the glowing throne.

    Goddess sighed, and said "When will men figure out that the universe DOESN'T revolve around them?"

  • mrsjones5

    Cute joke Zid.

  • snowbird


    You got that devil in you - again!


  • ziddina

    I'm just a lil' she-devil...

    she devil marquee


  • exwhyzee

    Brain Teaser...

    Three JW men were traveling nortn bound in an SUV.

    One was an Elder. one was a Ministerial Servant, and one was a Regular Pioneer.

    They made two stops along the way

    Once to pick up a regular publisher and once to pick up a newly interested Polar Bear

    If the Elder and the Polar Bear were in the back seat and the Pioneer was driving,

    What was the Ministerial Servants Middle Name ?

    (P.S There is a logical answer if you look close enough)

  • Scott77

    mrsjones5 ,

    Good job. Well done. I liked the stare tactic. I think it was effective.

  • ziddina

    AAAAARRRGH!!! ExWhyZee, TELL US!!! I can't figure it out; it's KILLING me!!!

    Gregor - Har Har!!! "seed pods under their bedroom window..." GOOD one!!

  • exwhyzee
    AAAAARRRGH!!! ExWhyZee, TELL US!!! I can't figure it out; it's KILLING me!!!

    Sorry zidda....The logical answer to a question like this is....."I don't know"

    See how hard we try to make sense out of something no one could possibly know or prove, especially after we have been lead to believe someone else has a real answer?

    Does this sound familiar ? ....144,000, 1914, 1975 etc etc.

  • Soldier77

    ROFL exwhyzee! I read that and sat here for a solid minute before I said, "WTF?! I don't know, can't figure that out anyway!" Then I see your last post... sneaky bastard you.

  • ziddina

    ExWhyZee, GOOD ONE!!!

    (Glad I checked back in on this thread...)

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