Learn to Speak Fluent Churchese!

by theMadJW 49 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • cantleave

    Of course not blondie - I meant the one that madjw directed us to .

  • theMadJW

    You mean you already speak Churchese?

  • theMadJW

    The word "God".

    In churchese, the word "God" NEVER EVER refers to a Supreme Being! So in order to fluently speak churchese as a native churchoid would, one must always think of a, say, God with a split personality. As THEY call it "ONE" God... (that isn't one in any REAL sense)...like a 3-in-one oil. A Trio of God-Persons or "essences", like divine perfumes....

    Thus it's not "GOD" spoke to Moses, but "Gods" spoke to Moses, and "They", not "He", and 'They' never say " I", but "We".

    - http://www.themadjws.com/howtospeakchurchese.htm

  • 5thGeneration

    I consider myself quite an intelligent fellow but I never understand what the hell the Mad one's ever talking about!

  • theMadJW

    Maybe you should adjust your self viewpoint!

  • Heaven

    Here's a Church made out of Cheese:

    Church Made out of Cheese

  • theMadJW

    Hey- good one 'Heaven'!

    How about a Zombie Jesus?

  • theMadJW

    Lesson #3

    The word "Begotten"

    The word refers to a father's procreating, and if you are beginning to get the FEEL of churchese, you now know to search for an opposite meaning.... like NEVER begotten...ALWAYS existing, like the OTHER 2 'Supreme' Beings. All the similar terms used in the Bible such as "firstborn", "beginning of creation/all creatures" must also be understood in the same spirit- thus relegate those terms to Trinitarian Titles- for who knows better than the Churches as to what was meant?

    CERTAINLY Gods were having the Bible written in churchese- not in any language the masses would be able to actually UNDERSTAND!

    From- http://www.themadjws.com/howtospeakchurchese.htm

  • thetrueone

    If you folks haven't noticed yet, theMADJW is a smug vindictive troll come here to shit on the faces who put down his

    one and only true religion the JWS, so I wouldn't make any comments on his threads or take notice of him at all.

    He hasn't come here to discuss anything and I'm wondering why he hasn't been given the boot by the Moderators

    of the forum.

    Please do not feed this troll !

    Please ignore his attempts to spam his own web site here.

  • theMadJW

    OOOOO, Charlie Brown- your momma's gonna wash your mouth.

    Matt 15:19-For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what defile you...

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