As a Woman Have your Attitudes Towards Men Changed After Exiting JW's ?

by flipper 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • dgp

    Man and worldly here.

    St. Ann (hi!), I believe that the people here mean that they no longer think that any man who approaches them has necessarily wicked intentions. We may want to have sex with you, and we often do, just as women often flirt with us and claim that "a little flirting is OK", but that doesn't mean harming you is all we have in mind.

    It is funny that you mention the pizza delivery guy who made a pass at you. Some years ago, I won't say how many, this elderly lady had so many words of praise for the way I looked on my shorts. Women do this things, too.

    I wonder how it is possible to make a clear distinction between the desire of a worldly man to sleep with a JW, say, and the desire of a very theocratic elder to sleep with her as well. Perhaps we have to think that Brother Theocratic didn't notice her boobs, and that, while undressing her, he would say "I need to say that I have only consented to be defiled by a woman and give up the gift of singleness, certainly not the finest thing a Christian can do, because of your fine theocratic virtues. I just love the way you read Galatians. You're always the first to answer the questions. No one underlines the Watchtower as graciously as you do. But you finally had me when I learned you had fifteen studies". Yeah, right.

  • flipper

    YKNOT- It's great that you are noticing men more, muscles, build, etc. - perhaps some of that " JW guilt " complex about looking at men in a sexual way is wearing off in you ! LOL ! The WT society has done such a horrid thing in telling witnesses to " deaden " their body members - that many witnesses think even admiring an attractive woman or man is a sin. It's ridiculous. It's like the GB thinks everybody is running around with their sex organs hanging out waiting to jump each other or something. Be careful though- just because a JW man may take the lead in the Kingdom hall- doesn't mean that he's knowledgeable enough to take the lead in the bedroom . LOL ! If anything - he may not know a damned thing about bedroom etiquette !

    FHN- Good points you make. I too believe spirituality is a beautiful thing in men & women - and I believe a person doesn't have to be religious - to be spiritual. Also- very true that men getting depressed can affect their sex drive. Also true of women . Both sexes. Too much stress without stress relief can make an environment very unconducive to having an enjoyable sex life . So if both partners work at relaxing one another - it can really help !

    ST. ANN- That must have made you feel pretty good, quite a compliment that the Pizza boy called you back and was interested in you ! LOL ! Just teasing you. I agree with you about spending 5 or 6 years on your own before marrying again. Like yourself I was married as a young JW at 19 yrs. old , and after my JW wife and I divorced I spent about 6 to 7 years as a single guy before finding Mrs. Flipper. But it really helped me to hone my cooking skills ! LOL ! Now I love cooking for my wife. In my 1st 19 yr.marriage I rarely, if EVER cooked dinner. We all mature in different ways for sure . And yes- my wife knows I'm one of those guys you mention who is " always ready " if the mood arises. LOL !

    DGP- Good points you make. Yeah, I agree, many of us men don't just only want sex- but enjoy platonic relationships with women friends too. Your description of the " theocratic elder " was hilarious in what they look for in a JW woman to get into a serious relationship with. There's more truth to what you were saying than you realize ! LOL ! It really IS about how many Bible studies sister pioneer conducts- because to JW's everything is about how they APPEAR to other people in the congregation ! Boobs rarely enter into the picture until AFTER the marriage ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • MrFreeze

    I'm not a woman, but as a man, can I just say that I've always thought the headship arrangement was degrading and demeaning to women. My dad (who wasn't a JW) also thought the same.

  • flipper

    MR. FREEZE- I agree entirely with you. I always thought the view of women in the Jehovah's Witnesses was degrading to them. And yes, by the way- I'm a man also and feel this way

  • mrsjones5

    There's always tom terrific, mrsj.

    Omg, I'm racking my brain...that sounds so familiar...yeah tom terrific....I think I know ya! How you been! *waves*

  • lola28

    I guess it's changed in that, it no longer feels wrong to want to be with someone who has ambition (hmmm not sure if that's the word I was looking for but I think it will do). As a witness you are taught to just want a partner thats "spiritual" and puts the "truth" above everything else. It always felt wrong to want a partner who actually had a job that paid above minimum wage. When in every other meeting you are told to not be materialistic, well it has a way of messing with your mind, once you leave the org you start to realize that there's nothing wrong with wanting to do well in life. I don't want to have millions of dollars but I also dont want to struggle.

  • flipper

    LOLA 28- Good point you make. Women in the witnesses were always told to look for a marriage mate based on their alleged " spiritual " qualities, i.e. being an elder or MS, pioneer, giving talks, etc. But the truth was- many of these guys were NOT ambitious in earning a decent living ! LOL ! So, yeah, it is good to go for a stable man who earns a good, decent living. It shows dependability in areas of life where it REALLY counts. Survival

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