Hi Flipper, good thread!
I relate to your post in many ways, except for the fact that I never married. Never mind, I was STILL criticized (as you say mostly by JW women) because I work for a living. I certainly was not going to follow in the footsteps of other foolish single women in the religion! I feel that some of these older married JW women felt inferior because I work as opposed to them pioneering. One of them once engaged me in the verbal equivalent of a pissing contest because she felt that them pioneering was equal to my working full time. No way baby! There is no comparison.
What is particularly hypocritical and sickening is that these women were married and had a man supporting them! Where the hell did they get off telling me I shouldn't work??? Meanwhile, these are the same women who had 'issues' over single women and made trouble for those with a good figure and they instigated brothers to give talks about modesty in dress - all because THEY had a problem. Not to mention that these women are the ones who regularly targeted single women to do favors. Real users they are! I really despise these women and I do not forgive and certainly will never forget.
My so-called 'worldly' parents likewise raised me to be an indepenent self-reliant adult and my father feels I am an underachiever. If I had pursued poverty and been a doormat like the JWs wished, I would have been destroyed!
I never bought into the religion's 'headship' arrangement since it didn't apply to me. I feed and clothe myself and provide my own roof over my head. These men aren't supporting me. I am my own 'head'.