Soldier, I feel for you man. I'm in a similar boat, stopped meetings and service, but I did end up going to the DC in a different city beginning of July. After that I vowed never to go to another meeting or service arrangement in my life.
A newly appointed elder I believe was "assigned" to me called and I answered and also had that "DAMN IT" moment. I think he called because I took myself off the school and the overseer of that said we "would have a chat to encourage you".
All he said was he wanted to get together for a coffee and chat. I said sure, but that I was really busy and would call him to set up a time. Thanks to the advice on this board I did say that, that I would call HIM when I was ready. Of course I didn't and he left a message last night.
Now I do feel guilty, not because of the organization, but because I like this guy. He's a good guy and we've hung out before when he was just an MS.
I have nothing to say to an elder. I plan on not returning his call unless he keeps hounding me. I forsee them coming to my door one day too
On a positive note my goatee is coming in, how's yours?