When I was a firm believer that the WTS was God's chosen organization, I didn't really research too much. Never gave much thought to other opinions. If the Insight Book said so, than it was factual. I only did heavier research when I had a talk, or when presented with a question in the ministry that I couldn't answer. Other than that, I've been on spiritual autopilot. My how things have changed since my initial doubts, and even more so since coming here and seeing many others have the same doubts. It's a surreal feeling when your doubt changes into a firm realization that you've been misled when confronted with solid evidence. Now that I'm past doubt that the WTS is full of it, I've become obsessed with their doctrines. I just got back from lunch, and I realized I was talking to myself. About what? About the Faithful & Discreet Slave and how it doesn't makes sense. Imagine that, I'm walking around downtown on my lunch break debating myself about the F&S class. What do I do after that? I post a thread here after browsing the most active thread topics. After getting home from the meeting last night, I cooked some dinner, and watched a little TV. Then I started browsing here looking for the latest rumor in WTville. I had trouble sleeping last night, so I got up and started studying the arguments in Carl Jonnson's Gentile Times book. This morning while in the shower, I'm thinking about the F&S class and Babylon the Great again. This can't be normal, can it? Lately my dad has been referring to the scripture on "those ruining the earth" Rev 11:18, so now that's circulating in my brain.
Did you experience similar? You ever go through a period of obsession with all things WT related upon developing apostate leanings? You ever just start thinking about WT related controversies while doing random things like shopping or cutting the grass? Has your Bible reading and study increased dramatically since awakening?