SO sad! The elders never cease to amaze me...

by babygirl30 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • babygirl30

    On FB yesterday, an OLD friend of mine 'friended' me....and once again, I was hesitant to actually accept because I didn't know how she would feel about me being DF'd. But I accepted, and she sent me a msg. Well we ended up talking back and forth for awhile, and found out that she lives RIGHT around the corner from me!!!!!!!!!! I invite her over, and we ended up talking for HOURS (from 8pm-11pm) and had a GOOD time laughing and reminiscing about our high school days. BUT then we get on the topic of JWs, and I came 'clean'...told her that I have been DF'd for 2yrs and have NO desire to go back. I tell her MY story about how I ended up leaving the 'truth' (my abusive ex, the assault charges, the PFA, and the unloving elders) and then I tell her about how the CO personally got involved in my case, reopened it, and ended up telling ME that it was 'my fault'.

    So when I'm done, she starts telling me about what happened to back in the day, this gf was DF'd, and that was the last time I spoke to her - cause she was pregnant and of course I had NO idea what happened. All I knew was that she was not married and having a kid - so obviously she was sexin it up!!!!! WRONG....she starts telling me that this one 'brother' in MY cong back in the day (who was WELL known for being a man-whore) had attacked and raped her with 3 of his buddies. Now thankfully, this girls neighbors witnessed the guys entering the home and called police, and they were all apprehended - except the one from my cong. So this girl finds out she is pregnant, and goes to the elders weeks later...she tells them what happened, and the elders tell HER to keep it quiet - they will handle it. And as usual, they don't! Turns out that they call her back in a week later, and tell her that she is being DF'd - as the 'brother' claimed it was mutual (he too was DF'd). Now this girl gets MAD...she goes to the police, and they end up filing charges against these guys, but because of some technicality, they all only get probation. A year later, the DO comes through on a visit, and reads her case - demanding it be reopened. Once that happened, they overturned her DFing...but by now, awhile has gone by, and this girl suffered ALONE (since no one could talk to her). She said that the elders NEVER apologized - they only 'encouraged' her to KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT about what happened to her...and to let it go. This girl has this kid now, is a single parent, and NOBODY knows what really happened to her...all they know is she got pregnant, got DFd, and was reinstated.

    UGH!!!!!!!! That story made me sick. But it was so WEIRD how we both 'kinda' went through the same situation with the elders and CO/DO. Talk about a small world in this ridiculous religion.

  • Hadit

    OMG! That is awful. Disgusting. The men in the organization have way too much power. That has always bothered me tremendously.

    I'm so glad she found you and hopefully both of you can get some healing. I'm sure it helps her to be able to talk about it with someone who understands.

    All the best to you both.

  • ShirleyW

    Well, at least she did go to the police, some Dubs are so brainwashed if the elders tell them don't go to the authorities they actually do it, so at least she took the right step and reported them.

  • Morbidzbaby

    Ya know, so much goes on in that "back room" that the R&F have no idea about unless they've been there, done that. The ones that toe the line and don't make waves never really see what happens before a DF'ing. They just assume "Well, they weren't repentant, so they got what they deserve". Not always the case. In my brother's case, he had been smoking and got caught, but he also had had sex with his girlfriend, whom he planned on marrying. His friend (the "golden child" of a couple that were both JW, whereas my brother and I were raised with an unbelieving father) had commited the same "sin" but threw my brother under the bus in order to save his own slimy arse and was given a private reproof. When the elders asked my brother "Are you going to have sex with her again?", my brother replied "Well, yeah we're gonna get married, so I assume that after that we'll be having sex"...and he got DF'ed for being unrepentant. Along with that, his best friend (also the child of an unbelieving father...noticing a pattern here??) was DF'ed the year before and his mom had died. My brother asked the elders specifically if he could talk to his friend at the funeral, considering the circumstances. The elders okayed it, but after the fact, they brought it up in his JC and used it as yet another reason to DF him.

    My own JC's were presided over "fairly", I would say. But I have heard so many horror stories of people who were innocent or were sincerely repentant and got DF'ed anyway.

  • God_Delusion

    But Jehovah installed these men as elders, therefore, they must be right.................

  • tec

    Sad and infuriating at the same time.

    I'm glad she has you now.


  • OnTheWayOut

    The elders are trained to be all about keeping it quiet.

    SO, is this girl out of the JW's now? Will she be a friend now that she knows about your situation? I hope so.

    Strength to you.

  • Lozhasleft

    Its really disgusting to read these stories of such injustice ...these judicial committees should be banned...

    Loz x

  • StAnn

    Babygirl, how amazing that she lives so close to you! As a Catholic, I'd say that this is God's way of giving you some support when you need it most.

    What pricks the elders are. And to think, this is something they aspire to.

  • Soldier77

    I'd like to take a baseball bat to the heads of all those elders covering over sin. That story is infuriating. It's brings back memories of my own case and I just want to torture these bastards.

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