Deprogramming... yourself.

by confliction 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • JustHuman14

    It is not an easy thing, but take little steps. I was 33 when I had my first doubts. I was born in the WT, my dad was CO,(most of my cousins are Elders, some are serving in Bethel, and others as CO's and my entire family are in the WT, exept me. I'm the blacksheep of the family!!!

    First step: QUESTION EVERYTHING...Don't go after group or cult asking them :Are you the truth? There is no absolute truth

    Start to replace your jw's friends with 'wordly' friends. There are good people out there that they will love YOU without conditions.

    Try to act like a NORMAL HUMAN. If is Christmas and someone gives you wish, reply accordingly. New year, a birthday event, act accordingly

    Read books like Crisis Of Conscious, Compating Mind Control, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, 1984 by George Orwell. You will get a lot of help from this books.

    Plus in this forum you will make new friends that they KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AND WHAT YOU ARE AGAINST TO.

    I was for 33 years, but I couldn't stay there any more when I realize it was a lie. I might have lost my family, but I haven't regret it for a single minute, because I'M FREE...

  • Soldier77

    Interesting WingCommander, I too disliked "witness girls", they were/are exactly as you say, always looking for the "MS" or "Elder" or bethelite. Stuck up, self absorbed etc, you named it. My "first" was with an older witness woman, she at least had some maturity to negate the other crap. It all ended the same though, witness chicks = lame.

    Confliction, to add to the good advice already mentioned, the only way you'll get deprogrammed is to start hanging out with worldy girls. Don't be afraid to talk to them when the moment arises, a simple smile and a simple hello is all that you need to say and the possibilities are endless. Just be yourself and don't be quick to jump in and have sex with the first one that gives you attention. If you do, just be safe and use condoms.

    Good luck and be safe!

  • SweetBabyCheezits

    Lol @ notverylikely. "Know how I know you're gay?" The 40YOV is one of the funniest movies ever.

    Confliction, I hear you buddy. I don't believe it boils down to purely a sex thing, either. Not that it doesn't play some part in it but I know as a newly unblinded person (and happily married), I was uncomfortable talking to "worldlies" of either gender outside of work, period. It was like, well, what do you talk about?? For some reason, I tended to drift towards a discussion of religion and cults because I felt certain we would find something in common: We both viewed JW's as a crazy, cult-ish religion. And if they didn't feel that way when the conversation started, they did before it was over. It was a great conversation starter! Not really.

    Anyways, I think it comes down to programming like you said. It is a strongly-entrenched prejudice. "NonJW's are BAD ASSOCIATION" is what your WTBTS-trained "conscience" says. Deprogramming, I believe, requires you to put yourself in those uncomfortable situations and deal with them. Even on the smallest matters... for example, I find myself STILL having to force out the words "good luck" when it should otherwise flow freely in a conversation. That little voice in my head is whispering, "Satan is the god of luck! Don't say that word!" And I'm whispering back, "STFU, you cult-worshiping freak!" (Also, it's really embarrassing when you think this conversation is going on in your head when you've really been talking out loud the whole time. And then you're waiter is all, "But sir I just asked what you wanted to drink." Kidding.)

    But I agree with the others - you are really fortunate to have only been in for 17 years. The deprogramming should be easier. Make some non-JW friends who have qualities and virtues you admire and once you see them demonstrate better traits than some of your JW associates, that particular area of programming will begin to deteriorate further. That's my theory at least and seems to have helped me.

  • d

    I agree look I am 21 and I am still trying to shed my Jw persona.It just takes a lot of time.

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    PLease take a look at the info in this thread:

    Good info there on how to De-Program yourself.

    Key point:

    People stay trapped in cults, or trapped in illusions, because they don't really want to know the truth:

    3. Sometimes, they are afraid to know the truth --

    They fear that their world will fall apart if they stop believing certain things, or admit the truth of other things. That is one of the beliefs with which they got programmed - the idea that if they don't believe the right things, they will go to Hell, or they will lose their ticket to Heaven, or something else really bad will happen to them. One of the things that cults do is implant phobias about leaving the cult, or learning the truth about the cult.
    They are afraid of losing their status or membership in the group - they are afraid that they will be shunned and ostracized if they don't believe the same things as the other people around them. And they are just plain afraid of being alone.

    They fear that they will have to leave the cult if they stop believing in it, and they will stop believing in it if they learn a bunch of negative things about it. ("Then what will I do with my life?!") So they plug their ears and close their eyes, and play "Hear no evil, see no evil..."
    Some people just don't want to see that they were fooled.

    "I refuse to believe that I spent twelve years of my life in a cult. It isn't a cult. It can't be a cult. It's a wonderful movement."
    As they say in A.A., "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt."

    Some people just don't want to give it up.
    "If I leave the group, I will be lonely because I won't have any friends. So shut up and quit telling me disturbing things about it."
    "I have lots of time invested here. I'm a respected elder. If I quit the organization, I'll be a nobody."

    Link2And then some other old-timers say things like, "I refuse to believe that I wasted 12 years of my life on a cult."

    Carl Sagan, in his book The Demon Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark, told the story of how the TV program 60 Minutes in Australia performed a funny candid-camera kind of experiment where they manufactured a phony guru and then foisted him on the public for a few weeks, to see how gullible the public was. The experiment was a great success (if you look at it that way) because nobody, not even the press or other TV news organizations, even bothered to check out the charlatan's false credentials and fake credits. Everybody just swallowed it all, hook, line, and sinker. And the most outrageous part was the fact that, after 60 Minutes and even the phony guru himself explained to the public that it had all been a hoax, just a test of gullibility, some people still said to the phony guru, "We don't care what they say about you. We still believe in you." Some people will do just about anything to avoid admitting that they have been fooled - even continue to be fooled. It seems like, once you get those people committed to the hoax, you've really got them.

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