hey everyone.....been a while just wanted to introduce myself again

by Jesika 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Jesika

    Well, I have been a memeber for a while. Thought the site was gone.

    Nice to see its still up and running.

    Learned alot here.

    To summerize..........Born into the Jdub......got df'd at 15.... (am 34 now)on purpose (was molested by my uncle, so wanted out, saw the BS of covering that kind of thing up at an early age),

    dad was an elder, grandad was a PO, etc.

    left home after being df'd..........ran away....never to return....had a hard time learning how the " world" really was.

    Anyways......just glad to see this board is still around........just wanted to extend myself to anyone who needs to talk about abuse or the difficulty of "getting out".

    This was a huge sounding board for me for many yrs.........and I am back to help others, the way others helped me while dealing and finding comfort in knowing I wasnt alone.

    Feel free to PM me.

    Nice to see so many new ppl.........nice to know there are so many on the way....to thinking for themselves.



  • BabaYaga

    Nice to meet you, Jesika! I hope you are doing well.


  • cantleave

    Nice to meet you Jesika.

  • Jesika

    Thanks, good to be back........I know alot of the ppl I used to know here have moved on, but looking forward to getting to know those who are here.


  • Hadit

    Nice to meet you and VERY nice of you to offer to help others. I'm sure your experiences will help many.

    Any words of wisdom to share with the fairly new ones out?

  • Jesika

    Well Hadit,

    Being newly out......really scary....at least it was for me...I was only 15.

    But I can say....my biggest problem was trusting ppl too much. I was taught that u should trust ppl till they give you a reason not to.

    Well, I have found in my own experience that the opposite is true. The kind of innocence dubs have is very vunerable to those in the "world".

    Just trust your gut, if you feel someone or something isnt right, just like u felt about the dubs, go with it. Your gut is your compass for a while, learn to trust it and listen to it.

    At times you may feel like you're overreacting, but better safe then sorry right?

    Its a big change nd it takes time to adjust. Just give yourself the time to adjust.

    We have been fed that anyone from the "world" is evil....well, thats true, but the dubs are just as evil. Kinda have to weigh it out....ya know?

    There are really...REALLY good ppl out here...in the "world"......kinda of a trial and error.

    But the great thing is....you get to choose, and learn, noone else tells you what to do or how to feel, or what the future holds. That my friend is amazing, sometimes it sucks, not gonna lie, but....the difference is.....you finally get to choose.

    No matter what.......fending off the guilt, is a really nice thing to get rid of.

    Are you gonna make all the right choices????? Nope...but......at least you can make the choices.

    Nice to be able to get that kind of power back. Scary??? Hell ya....but you will get used to it.

    Even if its a small thing to get you started.....seeing a Harry Potter movie, or going to a club and being invisible....just to watch everyone around you and laugh and the crazyness around you....at least you did it, and saw it.

    The most amazing thing for me...........chased my dream. I wanted to go to school to be an automotive machanic...........and I DID IT!!!

    I am a 34 yr old women......5ft 0in tall...woman......but I graduated and I DID IT!!!

    I can do all I can...worked in a dealership a week out of school....had a 3.71 GPA when I graduated.

    The world is yours...........go to school....see a movie....whatever it is......its now yours.


  • Hadit

    That's AWESOME Jesika! Good for you for chasing your dream. Goes to show that despite the terrible things we go through as young people we CAN triumph and get over hurdles.

    I don't trust many people (especially now) and I have always relied on my gut - it helped me to get out. Now I have to work at getting my son out. He is the only one that matters - all others, including my husband, are adults and if they want to stay in then I no longer feel I need to have them wake up too. This is one scary, frustrating, confusing and maddening process. It's so nice to have ones like you show us that it can be done and that at the other end is independence and choice - things worth going after.

    I would love to go back to school - I gave up three scholarships after graduating many years ago. Pisses me off. I just have to figure out what I want to pursue, come up with the time and money and then see where it leads. Much harder to go to school when you have a kid and other responsibilities.

    Thanks for sharing! It's uplifting :)

  • SnakesInTheTower

    welcome back to the insanity jesika

    a lot of people have moved on...some moved to another board when they thought this one was closing...

    ...the board has changed a lot...but some of the standbys are here. Like a bad penny (whatever that means), I am still around.

    Snakes (Rich )

  • wasblind

    Hello , jesika

    glad your back look forward to reading more of your post.

    this religion is so detrimental to young people glad your

    surviving it

  • Quandry

    Welcome back.

    You've gone through a great deal in your life. Getting df'd at 15....and I am sure they knew that you'd been molested....they want family to shun you when you need them the most. I can't imagine how you made it on your own leaving home at that age!

    Very proud that you realized your dream of going back to school. I hope that you have some measure of peace in your life now.

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