Unbelievable!! Family member at my leasing office!

by IronHill 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • BabaYaga

    Once again, Scully rocks.

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    Skully has a good letter, however, I think this part is way over the top:

    "so that we are not further subjected to the psychological abuse of your employee"

    Psychological abuse?

  • carla

    Of course Scully's letter is wonderful but heck, wouldn't you love to see this make the papers? or news? "Leasing company and Religious Discrimination" (or lack thereof)......... good luck with everything, just fantisizing here.

  • Scully

    ok, drew, I get your point.

    There most definitely is abuse by the employee toward IronHill and Mrs. IronHill. I was trying to find the appropriate description of the abuse. It's not physical abuse - she's not hitting anyone. It's not verbal abuse - she's not swearing at anyone or cussing them out. It's not financial abuse - she's not extorting money from IronHill. It's not sexual abuse... obviously. It's not racial abuse. It's not based on culture (in the usual meaning of "culture" in our social norms). It isn't "social" abuse, because we are discussing a professional situation, not a social one. It's religiously based abuse, but we aren't supposed to be talking about that because religious issues are not appropriate content for a letter requesting a basic level of professional courtesy and respect. And numerous times on JWD/JWN shunning behaviour and hostility toward ex-JWs by JWs has been described as being psychologically abusive. But, to an outsider who doesn't understand the religious background (or who doesn't care about the religious background) it will be chalked up to a "personality clash" or as someone being cantankerous and ill-mannered.

    We are talking about a JW with a stick up her ass, rubbing IronHill and Mrs. IronHill's nose in it, because they are no longer JWs. Perhaps we could say, instead:

    "so that we are not further subjected to the unwarranted unprofessional and disrespectful attitude of your employee."


  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    "so that we are not further subjected to the unwarranted unprofessional and disrespectful attitude of your employee."

    Heck yes that is better.

    The funny thing about is that when reading what you originally wrote I was actually surprised to come across the "psychological abuse" thing. It seemed out of place with the tone and content of the message.

    Keep us posted on what you decide to do IronHill, I think you have got lots of great suggestions!

  • Palimpsest

    Having worked in a professional office as both a letter-writer and letter-reader dealing with similar issues, I have to say that Scully's letter (with the proposed revision above) is the way to go. As general advice for everyone, never send a letter like this without dates and other concrete details. That's how you make your case best.

    It will be interesting to see if your cousin brings up the religious issue when speaking with her supervisor. If she does, I have to think she'll be in some serious hot water.

    I admit that I have some of the same concerns others raised about the issue of going to her home (above and beyond what's required of her), but that could actually backfire against her in the sense that, as mean as she was to you, she was actually giving preferential treatment to you as a customer by taking them to her home and meeting with you after hours. The professional thing she should have done would have been to find a way to get them to you during business hours, even if it involved sticking them in the mail for you. I imagine that will be something her manager notices immediately as problematic. You never, ever have clients go to someone's personal home for a business matter, even if it's in the complex. Too many liabilities there.

    In any case, best wishes with this!

  • StAnn

    I would revise the letter in one way: state that you do not wish to have any dealings with her at her home because of her conduct. For all you know, her boss may tell her that she has to allow you to pick up your pool passes at her apartment. When you get there, for all you know she might pitch a fit and call the police or have a gaggle of elders waiting to ambush you.

    Since you can't go into the office due to work schedules, I would request that the manager deliver the passes to you or have the passes mailed to you.


  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    state that you do not wish to have any dealings with her at her home because of her conduct.

    If she is going to act like a complete pratt she might as well do it to your face or, better still, with an audience.

    She has to sleep at night.

  • lisavegas420

    I wish I lived closer, I'd go and pick up your pool pass' and my visitors pass at the same time. Let her start something with me.

    Considering her attitude, I wouldn't want my children going near her with out me.

    Scully's letter with the abuse word change. Best one yet.

    keep us posted.


  • DT

    I like the suggestions made so far. However, I'm not sure if the religious angle should be totally ignored. Isn't that the problem? Dealing with an occasionally rude manager isn't that big of an issue for most people. It's different if that rudeness is prompted by your right to exercise your freedom of conscience and results in unfair treatment. There's a danger that you could be viewed as complaining about something trivial if you leave that out. If it escalates, it could then appear like you are grasping at straws if you then bring up the religious angle. Here is how I might handle it, in case it gives you any ideas.

    Dear Office Manager,

    I feel obligated to report certain difficulties I have had with Ms. XYZ at the rental office. I believe she has treated me in a rude and discourteous manner. (Provide dates and brief description.)

    I felt the need to document these incidents in the event that further discourteous behavior takes place in the future. The manner in which I've been treated leads me to anticipate that this may continue.

    If this is part of a general pattern, then you have likely received other complaints and will be able to determine what action is needed to prevent this inappropriate conduct from recurring. However, if this rudeness is directed to me personally, then you may be uncertain about how to respond to my complaint. I realize the difficulty of taking action in light of a single person's description of the tone of two isolated incidents. Of course, I will continue to document any further inappropriate incidents, even by recording phone calls, if necessary. However, I will now present more precise details that may clarify the nature of the problem and suggest how it may be remedied.

    In addition to simple rudeness, Ms. XYZ responded inappropriately to our request to make arrangements to collect our pool passes. We were told that we would have to come to the office during office hours to pick them up. When we said that this is impractical due to our work schedule, she only offered the accommodation of picking them up at her apartment, provided our children complete the transaction.

    I view this as evidence that this rude behavior is directed at me personally. I don't believe it is appropriate to require a third party to act in my behalf when dealing with the office manager.

    I am merely seeking fair treatment. Would it be possible to simply have the passes slid under my door or mailed to me? If this is a reasonable accommodation that would normally be granted to other residents, then I would appreciate that this be done in order to solve the immediate problem of the pool passes. If not, please notify me of my remaining options of getting the passes.

    I hope that this problem will not persist. I will be satisfied if this discourteous behavior stops and I am treated in a fair and equitable manner in the future.

    I realise that Ms. XYZ belongs to an organization that instructs its members to socially ostracise and avoid people with my beliefs. She is free to do so, if she wishes, provided it doesn't interfere with my rights as a tenant. I have no quarrel if she wishes to avoid me outside of necessary interactions as part of her job. I dislike bringing this up, even though I have documentation to support this. I believe it may provide an explanation for her unusual behavior.

    In any case, I am hopeful that this situation can be remedied in an efficient and professional manner.

    Thank you.

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